| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: "Is there a way to tell which guy is the right guy without dating everyone and being hurt over and over until I find him?"
Not a surefire way, no. But generally the more they smooth talk you, the more of a player they are. I usually dated nerdy boys... (read in full...)
I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: I'm sorry if this doesn't sound like much help right now if you're hurting, but a guy like that isn't the kind of guy you want to be with and wasn't in fact all that nice. Threatening to break up with someone (or actually doing it) because they ... (read in full...)
Don't want to move with my parents -- can I get a new guardian?
Q. My parents are moving and want me to go. I really don't want to! is there a way I can pick my gaurdian or have some take over my gaurdianship. ...
A. 14 June 2010: You can ask them to stay with your grandparents, they might say yes. But on the other hand, most teenagers don't get along with their parents. Most girls I know are frequently angry at their parents, involving screaming fights, name calling, the ... (read in full...)
Worried that the cramps haven't gone away yet
Q. Had sex with a friend, now developing into more. He used a condom for the first time, but didnt 'finish' and the second time was without one, where he didnt either. I got my period 5 days later. I have had cramps for 3 days (before, first day and ...
A. 14 June 2010: This post is all over the place, I'm not quite sure where to start. One, don't have sex without a condom unless you're on the pill. Good call not having him finish when you were totally unprotected. Two, when you do have a condom, it's perfectly ... (read in full...)
Don't want to move with my parents -- can I get a new guardian?
Q. My parents are moving and want me to go. I really don't want to! is there a way I can pick my gaurdian or have some take over my gaurdianship. ...
A. 14 June 2010: Well kind of, but not really. Your parents have to be willing, and I don't think they will. Of course you can legally change without their permission, but generally they need to do something pretty awful to have an intervention like that. Making a ... (read in full...)
I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: I think most guys will prefer a person to a sex toy. I'm not exactly sure what you mean. You say at first he didn't do anything with you, but then you say you're worried you'll be treated like a sex toy with your next boyfriend. Have you ever been ... (read in full...)
Can the morning after pill make my period 2 weeks late?
Q. hi, i last had my period may 1st i took the morning after pill just after my period but now its June 13 and still no period..is there a chance the morning after pill made my perios 2 weeks late!!...
A. 13 June 2010: If you took the morning after pill near your period, then conceivably it could, but not very likely. I'd get yourself a pregnancy test.... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 13 June 2010: "Have you ever seen greek art which portrays orgies, homosexuality and every sexual activity known to man? Pornography portrayed on everyday objects, on plates, on vases, on cups..."
Yes, as an art major in college, I have. I have also studied how ... (read in full...)
Thinking about dating my step sister.
Q. OK I'm 15 and my stepsister is 14. We are really close. We've known each other for like three years. She is the type of girl i like to date. I think I am starting to develop feelings for her. I don't mean have sex with her because I don't like to ...
A. 13 June 2010: Don't do it. You're very young and will probably break up at some point. Then you have to live with her AND explain to your parents what's going on. It's just a bad situation. Even if you aren't blood related, you might as well be. I'd say just let ... (read in full...)
She's wondering if I'm just palming her off on other guys
Q. My wife and i have always had a fairly exciting sex life. A while ago whilst talking dirty during sex we decided she should have sex with another man. Well to be honest it was my idea, as it was something i'd fantasied about! We discussed it...
A. 13 June 2010: If it makes you both happy, then there's really no problem. Like the anon poster below said, make sure she's happy with the situation.... (read in full...)
Why do most men like big boobs so much?
Q. Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis ...
A. 13 June 2010: "Guys don't dig that. That's like an Ancient Greek ideal of beauty."
If you're the ancient greek ideal of beauty, then why are you upset? My guy tells me I look like the Venus de Milo and do you think that was upsetting? Heck no. That statue h... (read in full...)
Intimacy question: do I get pregnant doing this?
Q. The other day my boyfriend was playing with my breasts and we have even been kissing each other and even touching my stomach.....and this is the first time and i was tensed a bit......do i get pregnant by doing such kind of activities...plz help me ...
A. 13 June 2010: You can only get pregnant if his semen goes in your vagina. That means you both have to have your genitalia uncovered and he needs ejaculate in or around your vagina. No you can't get pregnant touching or kissing. You can't get pregnant touching his ... (read in full...)
Alternatives to masturbation?
Q. Instead of masturbation, what are other ways I can pleasure myself sexually? ...
A. 13 June 2010: Other than getting a boyfriend or girlfriend to do it for you, there is no other way. Masturbation means self-pleasure. Masturbation doesn't even need to involve your genitals! Why not try masturbating with a toy if you're nervous about touching ... (read in full...)
We argue when we're apart!
Q. me and my girlfriend have been having a problem. We are great together when we aren't away from each other for too long. I mean amazing. so much passion its like a dream. but when we are apart for more than two days, its hard for us not to argue ...
A. 13 June 2010: Maybe you should limit your contact when apart to texts and letters and emails? If you guys aren't conversing then you can't be arguing!... (read in full...)
Need help satisfying my boyfriend!
Q. my question is about and the fact im so bad at it and i have no idea what to do. i feel like i just lie there and try tomove to help my bf but it never seems towork and when im on top its disasterous! Everytime i move it just seems to fall ou...
A. 13 June 2010: If even when he's on top or in doggy style he can't orgasm (since that has very little to do with skill) but can from "foreplay" such as manual stimulation, he may be masturbating a bit too rigorously. If someone masturbates a LOT they can get used ... (read in full...)
He says he won't change for me
Q. I told my boyfriend if he would ever change for me and he said he'd change when he wanted to; I got upset and I told him I didn't wanna be with him if he wouldnt do that for me. his reply was how do you expect me to change when you act the way you ...
A. 13 June 2010: Oh OK. That's totally different. I'm not sure what you can do other than asking him to. Like I said you can't force it, but you can ask really nicely. If he won't though, he won't. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or care about you that he won't ... (read in full...)
He says he won't change for me
Q. I told my boyfriend if he would ever change for me and he said he'd change when he wanted to; I got upset and I told him I didn't wanna be with him if he wouldnt do that for me. his reply was how do you expect me to change when you act the way you ...
A. 12 June 2010: I'm not sure what exactly you want him to change, but you can't make a person change. What exactly is it you want him to change? Throughout a relationship people change through their own free will, doing things they want to. People do change. They ... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend I was raped and he says things "don't add up"
Q. I was wondering was I raped. Last week, I received a call from an old friend who said that he wanted to talk to me and I told him that we can talk on the phone and he said that he wanted to talk in person. I told him to meet me over a friend house ...
A. 12 June 2010: Are you going to press charges? I'm sorry your boyfriend is being unsupportive, this must be really hard on you. It's horrible to go through that, worse to have to deal with someone you love not believing you. You should go talk to a counselor or ... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: "My point is that it shouldn't make her feel crap. Things this trivial shouldn't affect a person so deeply."
"It's not healthy to be hurt by dumb trivial completely insignificant things."
Who are you to do decide a) that it's trivial and b) how i... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: I want to add something else. Porn is something that you are able to actively stop doing. Feelings don't come from someplace rational or controllable, they're just there. So in order for her to just "deal with it" the best you could hope for would ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I've ever had an orgasm
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a loving relationship and we have a great sex life. I don't know if I'm asking for too much out of sex but I'm young and I have no idea if I've ever really had an orgasm? It's difficult to explain and I know its a mental ...
A. 12 June 2010: An orgasm and cumming for a woman are the same thing. Women can ejaculate, but it's not generally called cumming. An orgasm feels different for everyone, but it's generally a very distinct moment that feels different than everything else from ... (read in full...)
So she was with another guy...now I am starting to WANT her to cheat
Q. *OP's Original Title* I told the story in my last post...I am 42, she is 27, recently married...together about 2 years. We had separated for about 2 weeks last fall and i recently found out she had sex with a 22 year old guy during that period. ...
A. 12 June 2010: Yes, I think you're probably setting yourself up for failure. Some fantasies are much better as fantasies than reality. Sure it turns you on to think about it, but what happens when it's real and she's not there? Remember how much it hurt even when ... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: "I guess my question is.. Why can't you girls just deal with it if the guy is good to you?"
And my question is why can't you just stop if it's hurting your girlfriend so much? Why can't you just deal with it that it hurts her?
Does it automati... (read in full...)
Should I be worried my partner watches porn?
Q. I need to get advice and other women's point of view on my current situation.... my partner watches porn and downloads videos on both the PC and his mobile, which he thinks he keeps secret from me, when i find it and confront him he lies to my fa...
A. 12 June 2010: I'm not sure this a porn problem so much as an insensitive jerk problem. You're not losing your mind at all, he sounds like he wants to cheat on you if he isn't already. Why would he be so secretive about his facebook and such? And telling women he ... (read in full...)
Struggling to give my boyfriend oral..
Q. How can I blowjob my boyfriend with out hurting him with my teeth and I can't get it all inside my mouth how can I get it all inside cause I feel I'm gonna vomit because its long ??...
A. 11 June 2010: Don't put the whole thing in your mouth if it gets your gag reflexes. The head is the most sensitive part so focus on that part with your mouth (licking and sucking) and use your hand to stimulate the shaft. You can buy some flavored lube to use ... (read in full...)
Refreshing the sex life?
Q. How to Refresh our Sex Life I've been married to my husband for more than 20 years and we have a very active sex life. However, I guess he would somehow get bored because I know for sure he has got so used to our style for all these years. Wh...
A. 11 June 2010: Why not try role playing, costumes, props, toys? Or how about having sex in a semi-public place to add a little rush? Also you say no anal, but fingering him there can add a lot I hear. Try having sex in new places too. Like say you're always in ... (read in full...)
His porn makes me insecure!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and we just started having sex a couple of months ago. We were both virgins, and he made it clear to me that he masturbated a lot before me, which I have no problem with, all guys do. ...
A. 11 June 2010: It's not dumb at all. According to a several recent polls of married women, somewhere around half reported feeling insecure or hurt by a partner's porn habits. If you asked him not to tell you, it's really obnoxious of him to come out and give you a ... (read in full...)
I seem to be unable to climax through vaginal intercourse. Help!
Q. I seem to be unable to climax through vaginal intercourse. When my boyfriend goes down on me or when he plays with my clit I'm fine but when we have sex I cant seem to come. I've been with a few men and I've had the same problem with all of them, I'...
A. 11 June 2010: Most women can't come from vaginal stimulation. Only somewhere around 25% can. It's a myth that you're supposed that started long ago with Freud. In order to try to have a clitoral one through sex (there's no such thing as a vaginal one) you need to ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me figure this out... does he want to break up with me?
Q. My boyfriend is always saying i need a better guy and that i dont deserve him and that he's a bad guy and doesnt want me to get in trouble but he also always says he loves me and misses me and hes so sweet and i dont want to leave him but im ...
A. 11 June 2010: Like everyone said, you're just going to have to talk to him. He could just be fishing for compliments.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know of any good romance novels???
Q. Hello again! I just had a quick question. I'm 19 as is my boyfriend. He is away at work during the weeks of the summer and is only home one day of each weekend for the entire summer. Before work started we used to spend every day together so ...
A. 11 June 2010: Good and romance novel don't belong in the same sentence. Though Nicholas Sparks is always a good choice for a bathtub/beach read.... (read in full...)
How can I let him know his porn watching is hurtful to me?
Q. dear cupid, i have been living with and only dating my boyfriend for six months, so we really jumped into our relationship too fast. after about two months, he wanted to watch porn while having sex. my ex husband, unfortunately, ruined the expe...
A. 11 June 2010: You have to make sure he knows how this feels. I'm fairly certain he watches anyways, but to use that to purposefully hurt you is pretty awful. He's clearly a jerk, at least with this. I'm not sure if it's just your wording, but he sounds like a ... (read in full...)
What is a normal amount of sex for a relationship and why can't he stay hard?
Q. dear cupid, my boyfriend and i have been together six months and at first, he explained that he left his wife because there was no sexual attraction anymore, that she had gained a lot of weight, didn't care about herself, and as a result, when the...
A. 11 June 2010: At first I thought this was a problem with erectile dysfunction or something, however, after reading the last part of your question I'm guessing he may have a porn addiction. You say he spends a lot of time in his music room before bed. What is he ... (read in full...)
Does he masturbate to much?
Q. OK, I need some insight from the guys on a personal matter. I know that it is a private thing, but I am having a hard time dealing with how much my boyfriend masturbates. We probably have sex about twice a week on average and I would like to have ...
A. 10 June 2010: Why not tell him that, or show him this post? Masturbation is normal, but I agree this seems a little, off to do it every morning while you're right there. Tell him it's off-putting to your sex drive and that you'd want more sex if he wasn't doing ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm during sex!
Q. No matter what I do during sex I can't orgasm can u tell me why?...
A. 10 June 2010: A "vaginal" orgasm is actually not a normal thing. Generally women who have orgasms during sex have them because they found a way to stimulate their clitoris or G-spot during sex. Women need a very different stimulation from men as we have very few ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and feeling unloved!
Q. I am 30 years old. I have been married for 5 years and am currently pregnant with my second child. My husband has refuse to have sex while am pregnant. My husband is one of those husbands that does'nt share his feelings or say much. He comes home ...
A. 10 June 2010: I think you need to make him sit down and talk to you about how you feel and about how he feels. This is something that needs to be worked out if you're going to remain married. Communication is an extremely important aspect of any relationship.... (read in full...)
How can I stop masturbating?
Q. So, I really want to get married some day. I know deep down that if I'm going to have a successful relationship with my wife, I have to be the best I can be. That is, I know I have to end my addictions, such as porn and masturbation. Parasites like ...
A. 10 June 2010: A porn addiction can ruin a marriage it's true. But masturbation is totally healthy and most people do it. It's a natural thing and it's a great way to know your body, plus it feels very good. There are lots of websites to help with porn addiction, ... (read in full...)
How do I know whether to believe my fiance?? I found 100's of porn and dating sites, but he blames a virus!
Q. Well basicly last night i accidently stumbled across porn that had been viewed on the computer...I had to know where it had come from so i looked and it was from my fiances acount...hoping i'd made a mistake i checked again and to my horror found ...
A. 10 June 2010: I'm sorry but with that number of sites, they're him. Even if they aren't all him, some/most have to be for that volume to show up. You generally don't get viruses that redirect you to porn unless you got the virus from watching porn. Also they ... (read in full...)
I'm 15, so that means I'm more likely to be pregnant?
Q. okay so i had sex with my boyfriend the 3rd of june, my last period ended may 19th. anyways my boyfriend didnt pull out during sex, i dont know why he didnt! i'm so worried that i could be pregnant now..isnt it 2 weeks after my period the best time ...
A. 9 June 2010: Yes this is a very fertile time in your cycle. Next time this happens make sure to take the plan B pill within 24 hours to prevent a pregnancy. The pull out method is very ineffective especially among teens since the guy has less control. Get ... (read in full...)
My wife and her vagina.
Q. My wife's vagina seems to feel more loose than it use to.We have sex 2 times a week,she is lusing weight could this be the cause?...
A. 9 June 2010: If it bugs you you could suggest she try some kegel exercises. Those work wonders for tightening things up down there. Feels better for you and they make her orgasms more intense and longer. When you ask her, try suggesting it as an incentive for ... (read in full...)
How do I keep from flipping out while he's gone for three months?
Q. my boyfriend of 3 years is working abroad for the next 3 months and i'm really worried he's going to cheat on me. he's never cheated on me before but he was a bit of a whore before we got together and most guys can't last 3 months without sex, ...
A. 9 June 2010: You're just going to have to trust him. Don't worry about the horniness thing, he'll just masturbate. Even if he slept around a lot before you, doesn't mean he will now. He decided to become monogamous for a reason didn't he? Plus 3 months in you ... (read in full...)
Laughing before/during/and after orgasm?
Q. I am a 27-year-old and married guy. Whenever I have sex with my wife and when I am about to cum, I start laughing! I can't control it! It continues during and after (for like 3 minutes) I cum. I love the feeling but I dont like the way my wife ...
A. 9 June 2010: Some people fart uncontrollably when they orgasm, at least laughing is better than that. Plus you have to make a nicer face than the usual scrunching looking in pain thing since you're laughing. At least you have a surefire orgasm alert so you don't ... (read in full...)
He looked at porn right after we made love - whats wrong with me?
Q. I recently posted on here as i'd accidently discovered my fiance had been looking at porn on the computer..only one site had come up so i tried not to let it bother me as you all said and put it down to a one off. But earlier curiosity got the ...
A. 8 June 2010: It's almost never that the woman isn't enough, and it's definitely not that you're not attractive enough. Have you tried talking to him about it? Most guys just don't see anything wrong with looking at other naked women. He probably doesn't even ... (read in full...)
Why is it that when men don't get their way they always go off in a mood?
Q. Is it just me or when men don't get something to do with sex they go in a mood and blame their partner. My boyfriends likes bum fun, we tried it but it really hurt me. but he doesn't seem too realise that cause of the pain i dont want it. and he ...
A. 8 June 2010: He's caring about two people. Him and his penis, not him and you. He's being very immature. I'm not sure where the anal sex craze came from, but it's very popular in porn so I maybe there? Either way guys don't seem to realize how much it can hurt, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says if we have a baby he will settle down with me and stop hanging out on the streets, what should I do?
Q. hi i'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and wants to have a baby but he is alway out in the streets he say's if we have a baby he will settle down with me. What should i do?...
A. 8 June 2010: 1. When men try to "exchange" something for the woman having a baby, he is trying to control her. In this case, he's trying to promise he'll stop hanging out on the streets if you have a baby. What do those things have to do with each other at all? ... (read in full...)
Why do most men like big boobs so much?
Q. Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis ...
A. 5 June 2010: It seems like an American thing for men to prefer larger breasts. We are trained on what we should find attractive from a young age, this has always happened. It's not a societal problem, it's just how we are. Long ago men looked for signs of ... (read in full...)
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