A
female
age
30-35,
*xyangel_09
writes:me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half and we live together. when we first got together our relationship was great. he showed me a lot of love and attention and always made me feel wonderful. but lately all of that has went away. we used to have sex like 3 times a day and now we do it maybe once a day. and the calling me beautiful and everything has totally stopped. he barely even tells me he loves me anymore. a couple days ago i caught him watching porn and i tried explaining to him that it makes me feel uncomfortable and unwanted and make me feel not good enough but he just tells me that its stupid that im mad and that every guy does it. my boyfriend has never been good at the whole communication thing so anytime we get in an argument i try to talk about it to him and he just makes it into a fight and tells me he hates me and leaves to hang out with his friends. the whole time he is gone he doesnt text me back or answer my calls and he stays out rediciously late. what should i do because i love him more than anything and i dont want to leave him but im getting really tired of being treated like this. he acts like he doesnt care about me anymore and just cares about hiself.
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (9 May 2010):
 I guess you have to ask yourself a question...Would you be better off living by yourself than with this jerk?If the answer is yes, then kick him out of the place and put this unfortunate chapter of your life behind you.If the answer is no, then it looks like you're stuck with him for the time being.You have to repeatedly ask yourself...Would I be any better off if this guy was out if my life?You also need to use a bit of cunning. Find ways to play mind games with him. Play him at his own game. Don't let him beat you.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 May 2010):
 I agree, your boyfriend is being a jerk. This is a case where you do need to make an ultimatum that if he doesn't start treating you better, you will leave. And you need to do it, even if it hurts. He's treating you like crap and you deserve a guy who will treat you well. There are plenty of nice guys out there. Sometimes you just have to deal with a bunch of jerks first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010): If it's been a year and a half then stuff like this tends to be pretty normal in couples I suppose. I don't think I know a whole lot of guys who act like its a first date for the rest of their lives. And it may seem shocking but guys do like to hang out with their friends. The porn thing is difficult, coz both men and women see the issue completely differently.
To be honest I'm not even sure what he is doing so wrong here...and I'm sure he doesn't know as well.
Next time you talk to him, try to make it serious and logical without anyone having to raise their voice. I don't think any guy has a communication problem, but the way we deal with our problems give you that impression. While you may want him to understand you, it would help if you try to understand him. Maybe it could break that language barrier
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A
female
reader, L.A LATINA +, writes (9 May 2010):
 I'm having that problem but you need to stop it now because it is addicting to men and why should he pleasure him self with that when he has you .Im ready to leave my boyfriend because he just doesnt understand i can talk till im blue in the face and i think he just dont care but he is gonna know how seriuos i am when i walk out the door but anyway save your relationship it's too late for mine good luck...
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 May 2010):
 You b/f is quite immature and you should stand up to him about the way he treats you . You should not allow him to treat you like a door mat.
It is because he knows that you love him and will never leave him that he is acting in such a childish and immature ways.
I don't think talking to him will do any good as he has developed a defense against you .
Your only strategy is to tell him to buck up or be shipped out. If he is not going to change, you will leave him for good. You do not have any other choice.
If you allow him to treat you this way , it will get worse and more worse.It is emotional and mental abuse.
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