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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Is pool or bowling a good idea for a second date?
Q. I'm having a second date tomorrow, and I am short of inspirational ideas, thought of two, take her to play pool/billiards or go bowling. I will then take her for food she said she liked when we met last week. Is pool/bowling a good idea? ...
A. 10 February 2012: I think a good idea for a date is just something fun where you can talk and get to know each other whilst having a laugh, so either sound good. Further dates could be something like theme parks or ice skating.
Things like the cinema aren't t... (read in full...)
Can a boy in college around pretty girls stay a virgin?
Q. Hey Everyone, okay, so this guy that I'm not actually officially dating, but we have been a thing for almost two years is away at college. which is kind of why we're not together. He tells me he is still a virgin, but I don't believe him because ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sounds like he sees you as someone he can get sexual favours from easily.
He's using you, get rid of him and find someone who will commit.... (read in full...)
How can I tell if this online guy is for real or not?
Q. Ok so I met this guy in a chat room he is 21 and I'm 16 I live in Ohio and he lives in NY. We really hit it off but I lied to him about having sex I told him Im a virgin today and he was like what have I not been honest with u and I was like I was ...
A. 8 February 2012: Do you not realise the majority of people who use internet chat rooms aren't who they say they are? Have you ever seen the show 'To catch a predator'?? Chatrooms are a great place for paedophiles and perverts to get their rocks off and pretend to be ... (read in full...)
Affair with husband's brother, and husband is okay with it.
Q. My brother-in-law (husband's brother) and I have started to engage in an affair. It started about a month ago. Initially after we first had sex, he was feeling so guilty that he said he never wanted it to happen again. I also felt guilty for what ...
A. 7 February 2012: I'm sorry but this is extremely odd...
Why would someone want to share their WIFE with their Brother? I can't quite get my head around it. No matter how sorry he feels, he's willing to let you have an affair? I haven't quite heard anything... (read in full...)
Ages down on my luck, hooked up, dating her but something's not right....
Q. I spent ages feeling like no girls would date me; I loved my best friend for so long but she liked some other guy -- just my luck. I toned up a lot at my dad's gym and I box quite a lot now. I went out with my mates who have had more girlfriends ...
A. 7 February 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/one-itisthe-unhealthy-curse-of-devotion-and-attatchment.html
There ya go, have a read of that. Do not fall into that phase whatever you do!... (read in full...)
Ages down on my luck, hooked up, dating her but something's not right....
Q. I spent ages feeling like no girls would date me; I loved my best friend for so long but she liked some other guy -- just my luck. I toned up a lot at my dad's gym and I box quite a lot now. I went out with my mates who have had more girlfriends ...
A. 7 February 2012: Yep, been there as well mate. The latest girl put out right from the start, including having sex after a night out, which really should be a red flag from the beginning but I ignored it with rose-tinted glasses and it all went tits up anyways.
... (read in full...)
I need better skills with girls. Help! Where do I go now?
Q. Okay, I'm going to make this as short as possible. A few weeks ago, I was going to ask a girl out on a date. We've know each other for a while now, and we talk almost every day. We are both very close friends. So when I found her alone by her l...
A. 6 February 2012: I know it's hard to take mate, been there myself. Just pick yourself up best you can and move on, start talking to other girls to form new friendships and maybe even relationships.
At some point in everybodys life, there's a person that you thin... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't tell everyone we are dating and has some flirtations with male friends.
Q. My girlfriend stays out regularly and sometimes comes back as late as 4am. Sometimes she goes to see a friend who has a flat a few miles away. I work full time so I generally feel tired as I don't sleep so well when I don't know where she is or ...
A. 5 February 2012: Mate, to be frank, this woman sounds like a bitch. You've been going out for 6 years and she never introduces you as her bf??? When you're with someone that you love you should feel like shouting it from the rooftops, not becoming angry when it's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is angry with me for wanting to go on a diet
Q. ive been thinking about going on celebrity slim diet, my friend went on it and she lost loads of weight, so i asked her about it, and she mentioned it to my boyfriend at work and he went mad at me.. Its nice to know he likes me how i am, but this is ...
A. 30 January 2012: He has no right to be mad at you for wanting to diet, but as honeypie stated I don't think 'celebrity diets' are the way to go about it.
Just research one that will work for you and couple it with exercise and watch the weight drop off.
Good lu... (read in full...)
My love for him is so strong, but he just plays with my emotions
Q. i have a boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months, we are long distance(live 5 hours/230 miles apart) and we met 6 months before we got together through a friend i went to see for a week, i was with someone else at the time, but that didn't stop me doing ...
A. 29 January 2012: Well you know first hand he'd finish with you when a better offer comes along so what exactly is it that you see in him?
He constantly had you on edge as to whether he wants to be with you or not, it just seems like you're a safe bet until he... (read in full...)
My wife says I play games too much!
Q. Okay my wife says i play my game too much that we don't have time for each other anymore. Okay i work all night pretty much i work 4 Nights a week and then on Sunday i go to work and open. We have a 15mth old daughter together so those two days that ...
A. 29 January 2012: Well yeah, you're either working all night, so you're going to be sleeping during the day. Your wife is always busy with your child and when you do actually have some time to spend with her you decide to play your games instead.
So basicall... (read in full...)
My husband has joined an online dating site
Q. My husband has joined a sex dating site. Should I be worried. Or is it harmless fun?? ...
A. 28 January 2012: I'm sorry but this question cannot be serious...... (read in full...)
How do I handle this relationship? He's 22 and I'm 15. My parents do not know about him yet
Q. I've got a situation.. I'm a 15 year old girl that's in love with a 22 year old man. I met him when I had just turned 15 one month before and he had been 21 for about 7 months. We started talking and when we hung out for the first time it was like...
A. 22 January 2012: This man is a paedophile, what level-headed 22 year old ADULT wants to date a 15 year old CHILD?
Just imagine one day if your 15 year old daughter came to you and told you she was dating a 22 year old man? What advice would you give? Would yo... (read in full...)
I gave the new guy false hope but I've just realised I'm not quite over my ex
Q. Basically, I’ve been with a guy for two and a half years but a few weeks back we broke up. Reason he gave was he couldn’t deal with having a relationship because he was too stressed…Actual reason, he had been cheating on me with another girl. I...
A. 21 January 2012: Tell him exactly what you've just told us. That you're still not fully over your ex and you don't wanmt to rush into something too soon.
Simples...... (read in full...)
Before we dated she revealed that she used to meet up with strangers for sex. I'm disgusted. Am I being too judgemental?
Q. I have been dating a girl for the last 6 months. Last week she told me that she has used internet sites to meet guys for sex. This was before we dated and has not done it since. I am having a problem accepting it. It was not my business, I ...
A. 21 January 2012: I can completely understand that you'd be grossed out by that, it's definately not something you want to hear from your gf.
Thing is you're now always going to have this thought in the back of your mind and it's going to take a lot to ensure t... (read in full...)
Is he only looking for sex?
Q. I ve been talking to a guy on the phone and through text for over a month. We decided to meet soon and he often mentions he cant wait to hug and kiss me. I asked him exactly what hes looking for and he said for u to be good friends that hang out and ...
A. 20 January 2012: See how he acts, ignore what he tells you.
If he is only after you for sex and he doesn't get it for some time, his interest will wane and he will disappear off the radar.
If he's genuine, he will be in it for the long run and you'll be able t... (read in full...)
Am I to blame for getting dumped?
Q. I used to talk dirty with my very close guy friend P (read: sexting). We had a deal that it was just for fun and only talking and it wasnt gonna go anywhere. But one day we had a drunken makeout session. Soon after our friendship soured and we ...
A. 20 January 2012: This is a joke right?
What a loser that guy is...... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 20 January 2012: Yeah, I understand. This was a pretty stupid question really, it's all down to chemistry and if there is nothing there, then nothings going to develop.... (read in full...)
How do you live up to the reputation of a man's 1st love?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend almost half a year. its my 2nd relationship. hes had lots if im honest but only ever been in love once, with his fisrt girlfriend. and i feel like i'll never be able to match her or be as good as her. he told me himself ...
A. 19 January 2012: What an awful thing of him to say, even if it's true you don't go ahead and say it to your current girlfriend.
If that's the way he feels, what more can you do than you already are? He likes you enough to be in a relationship with you, but if h... (read in full...)
The ex and I work together and she makes things really uncomfortable
Q. basically we ended things 6 months back and I was angry at her for doing horrible thing to me and we made peace because we had good time being together and since 3-4 months her behavior is now much more hostile towards me,after flip flopping there ...
A. 19 January 2012: Leave her to it dude, if she wants to act like a child, let her. Just get o0n with your job as normal.... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 19 January 2012: In terms of intimacy, I can't imagine much better than driving a girl wild whilst going down, for me, it turns me on even more than receiving it.
Sure it's not the most romantic thing in the world, but it's part of the foreplay in a sexual r... (read in full...)
Guys, is it a deal breaker for you if your girlfriend hates blow jobs?
Q. I tried giving blow jobs, it hurts, my jaws got irritated , i felt used (i knew i`m not gonna like them) and i felt bad about myself, i love sex though. so is it a deal breaker if a woman refuses to give it to her boyfriend? i never asked any men ...
A. 18 January 2012: Depends entirely on the guy, for me I can take or leave blow jobs and wouldn't really be too fussed.
And as Cerberus said, most guys do like going down.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says the mark on his neck is a bruise. I say it's a love bite.
Q. Thanks in advance for your answers! Last night I noticed what looks like a lovebite on my boyfriends neck. When I mentioned it he said it must be a 'bruise'. Since when do love bites look like bruises? When I tried to bring it up again he got angry, ...
A. 18 January 2012: I literally can't think of a common way you could bruise your neck. Ampersand's advice was great, but youwish makes a very god point that it may seem odd that you're concerned all of a sudden after questioning on it.
Also, somebody who has noth... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 17 January 2012: Absolutely not!
WTF is up with that dude??... (read in full...)
Guys: What differentiates a woman you met in a club from being 'a bit of fun' to the 'might be girlfriend' type?
Q. When you meet a girl in a bar or club what diffrenciates her from being the girl you want to make your girlfriend, or the girl who could be some fun? I know many guys (some being friends who do this) meet girls in clubs and assume she's down to sl...
A. 17 January 2012: I'd just like to say that I'm in this situation at the moment, I thought at the time it was a one night stand, but we kept in contact, started texting and talking on the phone a lot more and started to meet up.
The reason for me was simply b... (read in full...)
I mistakenly sent a text to the guy I like saying I liked him! Now things are awkward
Q. I accidentally text the boy I like, instead of my friend with a text saying ' I really like (boys name) why should I do ?' and I made up and excuse that it wasn't me that sent it was one of my friends and I think he believes it wasn't me and it's ...
A. 12 January 2012: You stop messing around and tell him that you do like him. If he likes you back, great. If not, you move on.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
FWB - I am tired of being the girl he can have when he wants but doesn't want to be with. Please give me advice?
Q. i have a male friend, we've known each other since we were 7 or 8, and when we were around 15 we dated briefly for about a week, before he decided we should just be friends. ever since then we've both seen other people, but as soon as we were sin...
A. 12 January 2012: Seems like he doesn't feel any chemistry between you guys to make it more than a friendship. Looks like you were a stop gap until he could find someone worth dating.
Don't fall into that trap again or you will just end up getting hurt time aft... (read in full...)
I have very little experience with guys and dating.. I need help to understand his signals??
Q. I know very little about dating I married young and am now divorced. There is a guy I like but I know so little about guys I am not sure if he likes me or not. He stares at me from across the room so much so that there have been times I have ...
A. 12 January 2012: Sounds veeeery shy, ask him out, you don't have anything to lose.
Goood luck!... (read in full...)
Guy canceled our date because he was super exhausted from work. Do u think he was really exhausted or blowing me off?
Q. I had been talking to this guy from online for a week. He was amped to meet me and the night before we met he told me that he only dates one person at a time, he asked if im gonna meet anyone else and i said no that i only planned to meet him, we ...
A. 12 January 2012: What does he work as? Has he been in contact since? From what you've described he sounds pretty genuine, give him chance to rarrange then take it from there...... (read in full...)
How do I get a second date?
Q. I went on a first date last week, with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to go well. Now it's almost the weekend again, but he hasnt asked me out. What should I do?...
A. 12 January 2012: 'Hey, I had fun on our date, how about we do it again sometime?'... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm with condom!
Q. So here's the prob, I can't cum whilst wearing a condom...I recently had sex with a condom for the first time (2 nights in a row and didn't cum on either) , I've had sex without before and had no problem with ejaculation. Is there anybody that has...
A. 12 January 2012: Thankyou guys, I'd just been using a standard durex condom so none of this super thin stuff. Ill check those out for sure!
And of course I always respect that contraceptives need to be used, I don't very much want a kid at this age myself!... (read in full...)
She gave her number to another man while we were out on a date! Now she hasn't spoken to me since, has she traded me in for him?
Q. Ok so iv just split with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years,as we no longer got on. I can't believe my luck when i meet a stunning girl who show's an interest in me straight away. We've seen each other now a few time,though its been at her house. L...
A. 11 January 2012: Ridiculous behaviour, what a bitch.... (read in full...)
Making the best of a situation .... or the worst
Q. So i was seeing this girl for a couple months and i wanted a relationship and she wanted to a have a fling i didnt want that so i moved on. I didnt see her for a couple weeks came back and she asked if we could talk i said i didnt think it was ...
A. 3 January 2012: I think so, you wanted her as a gf, not a friend and if you think this will be the best course of action to move on then more power to you bro!
Good luck... (read in full...)
Could the steroids numb him emotionally?
Q. please can you give some advice, i have been with my partner for over 2 years, we have some tough times over the last few months, he has admitted to me he is taking anobolic steriods, I think he has only told me as over the last few weeks he has ...
A. 28 December 2011: Yes, of course they could. Steroids effect your hormones and make them inbalanced and until he stops using them, this will always be the case. Some people experience these side effects others don't, it depends on a persons ability to tolerate them... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my b/f will send photos to other women..I found a photo of his penis on his phone
Q. Need help! Okay so I've been a worrier. And I worry not that my boyfriend will cheat but that he'll do something like send pics to other women. Especially since he's not that open with his phone He says he's always been honest and never sen...
A. 28 December 2011: Hahaha no not at all, I'd never send a picture of my penis to someone else!... (read in full...)
I made out with an older man and don't know what to think
Q. I am 17 and there is this older guy who i sometimes talk to as a friend, he must be in his late 30s/early 40s. I do admit that i have had a crush on him in the past and he knows that. Yesterday I was talking to him and as I was about to go he kissed ...
A. 28 December 2011: Ahh man, sage old guy made me laugh my ass off... (read in full...)
My ex circulated racy photos of me on facebook and now he wants to be friends again?! I can't forgive him...what should I do?
Q. About the ex: I was 16 years old and he was 18 then. We met online and hit it off pretty well, though he was pretty cautious about our friendship at first. He doesn't trust people easily. Well, for some reason, he started asking me for relatio...
A. 28 December 2011: Don't even think about letting this creep back into your life.... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my b/f will send photos to other women..I found a photo of his penis on his phone
Q. Need help! Okay so I've been a worrier. And I worry not that my boyfriend will cheat but that he'll do something like send pics to other women. Especially since he's not that open with his phone He says he's always been honest and never sen...
A. 28 December 2011: I can tell you that I don't take random pics of my d**k unless I was planning on sending them to someone (Even so, why would somebody want a picture of a penis to look at? Not like they're very pretty) Sounds a little fishy to me, you'd of thought... (read in full...)
Do men that aren't with their children think of them at christmas?
Q. hi there i have a 9th month old daughter her father left us for anothr woman before the baby was born and the last time he saw his child was when she was three months old haven't heard from him since my question is do men think about there children ...
A. 28 December 2011: Hard to say, like 'Iamheretohelpyou' said, it depends on the man. My dad left us when I was about 5 years old, I'm 20 now and haven't seen him in about 8+ months. He does send cards on xmas and birthdays or what not, but he makes no effort to con... (read in full...)
How do I get over being obsessed with my best friend?
Q. Okay, me and my best friend have known each other about a year now. She moved away 3 months after i met her, to Cali. We always keot in touch. Just recently, we told each other we have have feeling for one another. Way more then just friends. ...
A. 28 December 2011: Despiration and needyness turns girls straight off, don't let this happen between you guys. You're going to have to force yourself to just wait for a response and then go from there. Does she want to be in a relationship with you for sure? And ho... (read in full...)
How do I ask if she has a partner without being obvious?
Q. I met an amazing girl a few weeks back. We have been exchanging a few emails. I might ask her out, but I don't know if she has a partner already. How can I ask her without being obvious?...
A. 28 December 2011: Why wouldn't you want to be obvious? It's going to show you're interested by asking that question....don't beat around the bush, just do it. Good luck... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Hahaha, thanks so much guys, this has made me feel so much better.
Looking back, I don't know what I ever saw in her, I gave her pretty much everything she could want in a bf and she wasn't interested and she's not using me as a shoulder to cry o... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Haven't really had much of an argument for a while, had an in depth chat with her about it all about a week ago though.... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: It probably came about 2-3 weeks after things broke down (i.e me telling her that I liked her) we had a few arguments and stuff over it.
On saturday night she was speaking to me by bbm on my phone, she said she's going to call me, I told her not ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Haha, yeah I agree, back then I definitely was a love sick puppy that clinged to her every word and would've done pretty much anything for her.
But I tired after a while and don't really care for her anymore, just want to know what the dealio i... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks angel, hearing stuff like that always makes me feel better.
Yeah, that's why I thought there was something there, she's told me personally that she thinks I'm attractive, also told my sister when she was drunk lol
I think I was bein... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks again for those answers,
Angel - I'm not really too fussed about this girl anymore, she was a very hard person to read, I've moved on, not really bothered whether I speak to her again or not...she has a bf (well, pretty much does) now so I... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Yes KC you're completely right, she is kinda seeing some other guy, I doubted her answer at the time and she's pretty much confirmed it. She was a hard person to read and she still confuses me to this day with how she acts around me.
I've moved on... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks for those answers - not taken personally at all celtic, I'm not going to be to everyones taste!
Cindy, that's a very good point, no good trying to change myself to make someone like me, they have to want me for the very reason that I am who... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: I'm not saying it like I'm the most desireable man to have ever existed, simply looking for womens opinions and views on the subject is all.
Also, I already mentioned the 'not wanting me as a bf' - its not like I can't accept it, this was from mon... (read in full...)
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