A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I spent ages feeling like no girls would date me; I loved my best friend for so long but she liked some other guy -- just my luck. I toned up a lot at my dad's gym and I box quite a lot now. I went out with my mates who have had more girlfriends than I have (I've only had two) and only lost my virginity about a year ago. My mates teased me quite a bit so I decided to hook up with a girl who showed interest at a mate's cousin's party. I didn't know her but the night was okay. I ended up texting her for a week or so and she seemed hot 'n' cold with me but agreed to go out. She seems off and on though.... I don't know what to do? I thought we'd be fine. I'm not so sure now..... Any advice? Have you been through it or has anyone talked to you // given advice on a situation like that?
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/one-itisthe-unhealthy-curse-of-devotion-and-attatchment.html
There ya go, have a read of that. Do not fall into that phase whatever you do!
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 February 2012):
Yep, been there as well mate. The latest girl put out right from the start, including having sex after a night out, which really should be a red flag from the beginning but I ignored it with rose-tinted glasses and it all went tits up anyways.
I read a great article before regarding 'one-itis'. I'll root it out after this and post it up so you can read it. It basically says that whenever you get a girl in your life, you cling to her because of the fear of not being able to find somebody better, or just a general lack of female attention in your life.
Right now, for YOU, you definatly need to speak to this girl and find out what she wants as it's no good feeling that you're being strung a along or your head will be all over the place and you'll just be left confused.
So find out what the deal is, if things are good, then great, have fun with it. If not, keep your chin up and move on. As anon said, there's plenty of people out there who will want to date you, people you won't even have imagined, the fun in life is finding them.
I know it gets hard at times, I felt exactly as you do, not so long back, but it isn't true man, you'll find someone out there who likes you for you.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): First of all, have some confidence in yourself. If you like yourself and you think you are attractive, someone else will too. It may take some time but you will get there. You seem like you a sensitive guy that actually wants a relationship, and that's all women really want. But you're young, have fun and play the field. Well about this girl, I have been in this situation more times than I care to admit. From my experience, trying to turn a one night stand into relationship always ended in disaster. A relationship first then sex after. I'm not saying a relationship can't work but it will be hard. This girl may be a bit of a game player. Talk to her about what she wants as far as a relationship. You might have to deal with the fact that this may be just a one night thing for her. If she doesn't want a relationship, acts uninterested or plays games, let it go. There are so many girls out there who will want to be with you. You can't hold on to a one night stand that isn't working out just because you feel like no one else will date you nor have sex with you. You have to find someone who likes you for you. Trust me I been there. Many times. Good luck.
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