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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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We met online. We are meeting soon. Should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Q. So there is this girl that i meet online and we are going to meet in a couple of days, we live far away from each other, so it will be a long time before i can see her again. So i was wondering if it was okay to ask her to be my girlfriend, as i kn...
A. 2 July 2012: With your update, asking her out sounds even worse of an idea. If you can't hold conversation with her, I doubt she's going to want to be your boyfriend, I don't really see how that will change anything as you're still going to be long distance.... (read in full...)
None of my relationships last a month. We have sex and they're gone. How do I attract a guy who wants more?
Q. I'm 17 about to be 18 at the end of july. well my problem is i cant hold a relationship for longer than a month. it sucks. and it's become worse - where i dont even have a month long relationship, i just have sex then boom thats over. its not t...
A. 2 July 2012: Well can't you see a pretty obvious pattern emerging? You're having sex way too soon.
You're letting a guy talk you into bed. A guy can tell you absolutely anything that you want to hear to make you drop your drawers, you have to watch his acti... (read in full...)
We met online. We are meeting soon. Should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Q. So there is this girl that i meet online and we are going to meet in a couple of days, we live far away from each other, so it will be a long time before i can see her again. So i was wondering if it was okay to ask her to be my girlfriend, as i kn...
A. 2 July 2012: Woah woah woah big guy, hold up for a second. You haven't even met this girl yet! Give the relationship chance to develop or you're just going to come across as very clingy and needy if you're wanting to get into a relationship after the first time ... (read in full...)
What is the Facebook etiquette on people in a relationship posting sexy pictures even though in a relationship?
Q. About Facebook etiquette....my bf has over 400 friends and when he posts pictures of himself that kinda show him off (wearing a tight t shirt or topless) he usually gets a dozen likes from female friends along with comments about him being hot. I...
A. 2 July 2012: Wait, you're in the 30-35 y.o category, how old is he? I thought this kinda stuff was for 14 year old boys.
If you don't like it then flat out tell him, he shouldn't be posting ANYTHING that makes his girlfriend uncomfortable, especially things t... (read in full...)
He came home from a strip club wanting sex
Q. My boyfriend of over a year now came home the other night from hanging out with his friends that had come into town. I thought nothing of it, they usually just go out to eat or play video games, etc. But, when my boyfriend came home this last time, ...
A. 2 July 2012: What are you expecting us to say? He went out with his friends, went to a strip club where it'd probably be a little weird for a guy NOT to get turned on by naked women, then he came home to his GF and wanted to have sex with YOU, not pay for some ... (read in full...)
I really want to tell him I like him
Q. Ok, basically i've been 'seeing' this guy, we usually meet up on a friday night, go back to his, we've never actually had sex, just played about. Recently i've started to have feelings for him. Like when we're in bed, i pretented to be asleep and he ...
A. 2 July 2012: Well if you like him, then why wouldn't you tell him?
I wouldn't hold out much hope if the only time you get to see him is on a Friday night after he's probably been out with his mates.
Like you said, you have nothing to lose, so yes, you shou... (read in full...)
If I leave him alone for a couple of weeks, will he realise he loves me and come back? Or are his feelings truly gone?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I split just over 2 weeks ago after a 7 month relationship. We were very in love but it ended due to a very bad fight. After the split, he and I have had small contact every day leading to today except one. We had a conversation ...
A. 22 June 2012: Maybe, maybe not...try it and see what happens.... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before telling friend of my feelings?
Q. Okay. i really really like this guy im friends with. since December these feelings have intensified and are getting stronger. Well in January he got back with his ex gf. they had dated b4 for about 6 months and broke up November last year. so then ...
A. 18 June 2012: It's possible to have a very close platonic relationship and it's gotten to that point for him where it's gone way beyond ever being able to have romantic feelings for you.
One of my best friends is a girl I've known for about 7 years and neither ... (read in full...)
I told him I didn't want anything to do with him anymore, and he hasn't contacted me since.
Q. sorry if this is long, but i really need some advice. my ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago monday just gone. we had an argument on the sunday night because he was too tired to come over and i felt that due to having commitments with work and events ...
A. 8 June 2012: I'm sorry but I'm with your BF on this one, cut the guy some slack, he has 6 hours a day to himself and you're complaining because he doesn't spend it with you? And then when he actually does the honourable thing and admits that he can't give you ... (read in full...)
Guy with girlfriend keeps trying to string me along!!! I am nobody's puppet!!
Q. HELP!!!! This guy friend has a girlfriend. BUT he keeps trying to string me along!!! I told him I have feelings for him. He told me he has a girlfriend. So that should be the end of it, right? NO!!!! He just keeps giving me hope and then he...
A. 8 June 2012: Right now, you are being his puppet.
The sooner that you cut contact, that's when you're nobody's puppet.... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before telling friend of my feelings?
Q. Okay. i really really like this guy im friends with. since December these feelings have intensified and are getting stronger. Well in January he got back with his ex gf. they had dated b4 for about 6 months and broke up November last year. so then ...
A. 7 June 2012: Maybe over time, because you will be hurt if he doesn't feel the same, so don't rush anything in regards to staying friends, if you need time away from him afterwards, then take it.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he'll go off with someone else if I don't solve this problem!
Q. Hey so I have been with my boyfriend stuart for 5 months now and we plan to stay together for a long time. However, we haven't had sex yet as it hurts me too much which I don't understand. I lost my virginity before me and stuart got together and ...
A. 7 June 2012: If he leaves you because you won't have sex with him soon, is he really the kind of person that you want to spend your life with?
It sounds like you aren't turned on enough before you start intercourse, how long do you spend on foreplay?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mentally unstable and I can't leave relationship
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for one and a half years. I no longer want to be in the relationship as it feels destructive and neither of us are happy, however whenever I try to end it she guilts me back into it by describing how ...
A. 7 June 2012: Leave ASAP, it's not your job to worry about her when she's gone, she can't make you stay because of threats, what kind of relationship is that? That you're only together to stop her from 'killing herself'?
If you're not happy, then leave, w... (read in full...)
I walked out of the room, came back and my friend was having sex with the guy that I like!
Q. so there was this boy who liked me and i felt the same way but we never really acted on it.so recently i invited him over to my place and we ended up sleeping together.so later my bestfriend came over and we were just chilling when i went to get ...
A. 7 June 2012: Well this guy obviously didn't like you very much huh? If he's willing to jump in bed with your best friend when you're out the room, makes you wonder who else he's jumping into bed with doesn't it?... (read in full...)
My brother told me that he hated me
Q. I've just had a terrible fight with my 17 year old brother. I am 19. I've always helped him out, and have really been nothing but nice to him. He treats me like crap, and today he finally told me he hated me. I am sure he meant it, and I actually ...
A. 6 June 2012: I've told both my brother and sister in the past that I hate them, they've reciprocated the feeling many a time, but that's just what siblings do when they're arguing and things are heated, they say things they don't mean.
If you're pissed o... (read in full...)
Can't get my bf to cum when I give him Oral
Q. i need help! i recently gave my boyfriend oral for the first time and i couldn't get him to cum! i asked him what i could do and he just said don't worry its not your fault. and i said well why couldnt i? what was different? and he just said it ...
A. 6 June 2012: He may of been telling the truth, he may not of been. It's happened to me before and it's not been because it felt bad, but then again, only he will know the answer to this one.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend texts and calls random women, but denies it and gets defensive when caught!
Q. A few months ago, while using my boyfriends phone to make a call I noticed an unregistered, unfamiliar area code number dialed late at night. Later, when I asked my boyfriend about it he said he didn't know what I was talking about and denied it. ...
A. 6 June 2012: Even if he did fight for you, what would you have done? He was being unfaithful to you...... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 15 years will not divorce his wife!
Q. Hi, I have been with my live in boyfriend for 15 years. He has given me 2 engagement rings, (not diamonds) but when I told someone we were engaged, he got very angry. I drive him to and from work, as he works in a bar. He lost his license for 3 ye...
A. 6 June 2012: Wow, this sounds horrible...
Well for starters, you need to leave this guy immediately, how could you date a married man for 15 years??? Does he still live with his wife? or you??
He's just a drain on your life by the sound of things and if he... (read in full...)
Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?
Q. Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...
A. 5 June 2012: You're obviously unhappy, you say you want to get away from her, so leave her. What's stopping you?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 5 June 2012: Well it's quite clear that my intentions aren't to purposefully criticize people, or else I wouldn't of stuck around here for as long as I have done. I don't beat around the bush, I give my advice straight to the point and unfortunately if it comes ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on him?
Q. Ok ok I can do this _ SO! This is my first question on a site like this so... If this question is dumb please be gentle.. Sooo I have a boyfriend I love him a lot! The thing is it's long distance and things get a bit... lonely.. He's a total video ...
A. 5 June 2012: Come onnnnnnnnnn? Are you friggin kidding?
Why in god's name would you come here expecting people to say 'Sure, what he doesn't know can't hurt him so have a fling with as many guys as ya like!!'
Not gonna happen, you either end the relation... (read in full...)
My wife missed out on her youth
Q. My wife and I have been together for 12 years she missed out on her youth to be in a serious relationship with me. She has freinds that want to go out dancing and admits she will allow other men to dance with her(grinding)when she goes out. One ...
A. 5 June 2012: You've got to put your foot down on this one, you can't accept that as an excuse for your wife to go out, grinding on other guys. How do you know it's just that? She could be handing her number out, kissing god knows who and that is not okay at ... (read in full...)
How can I keep it a secret if I get involved with a married man?
Q. I posted a question earlier about a relationship with an older man who is married with children. I thought he was flirting with me and it turns out he was. We met to talk about the project we're both involved in and he drove me home (again!). I...
A. 5 June 2012: Seriously? Words fail...
Cerberus nails it.
Grow up and stop risking breaking up a family! Sure he will probably end up doing it with someone else, but you don't be that person.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 5 June 2012: Well it's weird considering it was exactly how you described it.
And if you feel that I criticized you well that's just tough luck, look at what everybody else has posted about the wives and girlfriends of guys who are in the army, who are away... (read in full...)
Do I give my ex the 100th chance he wants, or a fresh start with someone I know will treat me better?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma with two boys, me and my ex (j) who I've been on and off with for 9 months now and we have had some really bad relationship problems, and i was crazy about him but he has broke my heart so many times over the last 7-8 ...
A. 5 June 2012: I've not read your question, just read the title.
The answer is no, you don't give him another chance, this shouldn't even be a question, this should just need an ounce of common sense to decide.... (read in full...)
Dating/sex between super skinny guy and UK size 20/22 girl
Q. Hi, Please help - I'd really value some objective opinions! I joined an online dating site a few weeks ago and have since then met a lovely guy, who i have started going on a few dates with after exchanging emails and text messages. We've ...
A. 5 June 2012: Listen, if he didn't want to date you, he wouldn't be....simple as.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 5 June 2012: Why don't you have friends where you live? Have you recently moved there or just don't get out much?
I ask that because I have a very similar thing that happened with my brother and his now EX-girlfriend. Basically, they spent every waking m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend texts and calls random women, but denies it and gets defensive when caught!
Q. A few months ago, while using my boyfriends phone to make a call I noticed an unregistered, unfamiliar area code number dialed late at night. Later, when I asked my boyfriend about it he said he didn't know what I was talking about and denied it. ...
A. 5 June 2012: I think you already know what's going on and deep down you know what to do as advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Think it's time to dump this guy.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps cheating on me, but I can't stop loving him. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating a man for a year and a half. We are together usually every night, I sleep over his place, his family loves me and we say I love you but in Feb I caught him with a girl over his house. One night stand type of thing, we split and ...
A. 5 June 2012: If you act like a doormat, he will treat you like one.
Whenever there's a breakdown in a relationship once, IMO I don't think it can ever be the same again.
Don't let this guy worm his way back in, kick him to the curb and move on with your lif... (read in full...)
My friend's fiancee wants to have sex with me
Q. Heyyy so I'm up here in California for the next couple of years and I've met TONS of people but here's the problem, my friends fiance wants me to have sex with her. I've known this guy for about a month now but she's VERY persuasive and insistent on ...
A. 5 June 2012: Hmmm, this is a tough one, as personally I think the first time I'd just shrug it off and ignore it, but you don't know if she's asking other guys the same thing. If she were, then it'd be a good idea to let her potential husband know.
Is this bec... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is ready for sex, but I'm not. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend wants sex with me and I told him that I don't know how, I obviously do know how but I think he will be disappointed and might break up with me. But he said 'it's ok I will teach you how' I don't think I am ready for it though, and I do...
A. 5 June 2012: You will know when you're ready, just wait it out until then.
And please, stop being so insecure, I'm sure your boyfriend finds you very attractive so you have nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my fwb, who I'm sure doesn't feel the same. What should I do?
Q. Iv had sex with this girl who was a sort of friend 3 times now. It was only supposed to be no strings sex and it still is for her. problem is i'm falling for her and not sure what i should do. she said at the start that she didn't want a relation...
A. 5 June 2012: Talking from personal experience, end it NOW. It WILL get worse.... (read in full...)
How do I get men interested regardless of my weight?
Q. Hi everybody. Before I had kids and met my ex I was 140 lbs and I would get approached by men left right and center. Now 3 kids and one divorce later it's like I don't get approached at all. I mean I'm a very pretty woman and all but the weight has ...
A. 4 June 2012: If you're a generally nice person, then I don't see why people would be put off by your weight. I think it's when people want to become more intimate that weight would come into the equation.
But if you're happy with your weight and body image an... (read in full...)
He fell in love with my friend's picture, and didn't like the real me!
Q. I have been in a Long Distance Relationship.. for about 2 years now. It's a strange relationship because, I lied..when it began (we met online) I only talked to him to kill boredom. I thought I could shrug him off. Which I did, but he kept coming ...
A. 4 June 2012: Erm, where have you read that men love bitches? I for one, hate bitches.
For starters, how far away do you two live?
You lied to this guy, in a big way. Thats a serious violation of trust, so he has a right to be angry. What if you two guys dec... (read in full...)
FWB relationship I care about him a lot and don't want to end things but it's frustrating not knowing "what we are."
Q. I met a guy at a bar last September, gave him my number, and the next day he sent me a text. It had been a fairly drunken night for me, and I couldn't really remember him, but he wanted me to come over and hook up, so I went for it. Pretty soon it ...
A. 4 June 2012: To be honest, I've been in the exact situation, but I was the one wanting more rather than the girl I was in the FWB with, so I know how it feels and how deceiving it can seem that it's going somewhere serious.
And no problem, that's what I'm here... (read in full...)
FWB relationship I care about him a lot and don't want to end things but it's frustrating not knowing "what we are."
Q. I met a guy at a bar last September, gave him my number, and the next day he sent me a text. It had been a fairly drunken night for me, and I couldn't really remember him, but he wanted me to come over and hook up, so I went for it. Pretty soon it ...
A. 4 June 2012: Well as long as you're not putting all your eggs into this basket because IMO it doesn't sound promising.
I mean, if you start FWB and you both genuinely wanted to advance into a relationship, it'd be done as soon as possible and it wouldn't... (read in full...)
Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?
Q. Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...
A. 3 June 2012: That was a long read lol
But from what I've gathered, you sound like a doormat, a pushover. She's chatting to guys for hours daily, you complain to her about it, but she still does it anyway.
I think you are trying to rely on her too much, th... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to ask for a Fwb relationship with the neighbor?
Q. Hi, I always have sexual urges to have sex with my neighbor. We're both 15, she's very cute and has a creamy complexion. We're classmates in elementary. And I know that she has a major crush on me. She flirts with me all the time but in the past ...
A. 3 June 2012: No, because you're either 13,14 or 15 and it's illegal.
Concentrate on school.... (read in full...)
I have given my heart to a widower, do I wait patiently or move on?
Q. I am deeply in love with a Widower with two children, I have two of my own. We have a fantastic relationship in two separate homes. He lost his wife four years ago to a terrible disease which his kids have 50% chance of developing. He says he ...
A. 3 June 2012: Well he's already told you that he won't marry you, so what are you hoping for exactly?
Are you in a relationship with him? or no? ... (read in full...)
I've liked him for almost 7 years and I really don't know how he feels about me even now
Q. I've liked this guy for so long! I cannot stress how long I've liked him for, it's been roughly about 7 years. We started out as frenemies and since last year we've became really close friends. My friend decided enough was enough and she told him I ...
A. 3 June 2012: The answer couldn't be any simpler.
'Hey 'insert name here' do you want to 'insert activity here' sometime?' - Then if he accepts, there must be SOME level of interest, then if it goes well, you do things together more often and then you FINALLY ... (read in full...)
I need a plan before the prom. How can I prove to him that we could have a great relationship?
Q. Hello everyone, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about 6 months ago. We were friends for the first few months after, with a few ups and downs along the way, but over the past few months we have become best friends and are virtuall...
A. 3 June 2012: He's told you why he didn't want to be together, and by forcing the point when he's saying he won't get back together, isn't that kind of being stubborn or, in a way, argumentative? Because you're trying to go against what he's saying...
If he... (read in full...)
FWB relationship I care about him a lot and don't want to end things but it's frustrating not knowing "what we are."
Q. I met a guy at a bar last September, gave him my number, and the next day he sent me a text. It had been a fairly drunken night for me, and I couldn't really remember him, but he wanted me to come over and hook up, so I went for it. Pretty soon it ...
A. 3 June 2012: So he will continue to have sex with 'only you' but not make it official? I'm sorry but I don't buy that at all, he's getting easy sex and I'm 99% sure he's not going to have stopped seeing this other woman as well.
If he is 'sexually exclusiv... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before telling friend of my feelings?
Q. Okay. i really really like this guy im friends with. since December these feelings have intensified and are getting stronger. Well in January he got back with his ex gf. they had dated b4 for about 6 months and broke up November last year. so then ...
A. 26 May 2012: This is a hard one, as right now he needs to friend to be there for him, but if you leave it too long, he might see you as too good a friend, or like a sister, which is worst case scenario for you. But if you tell him too soon, and he's not over her ... (read in full...)
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