A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend almost half a year. its my 2nd relationship. hes had lots if im honest but only ever been in love once, with his fisrt girlfriend. and i feel like i'll never be able to match her or be as good as her. he told me himself im 2nd best and that she was his first love, it was love at first sight and hes never felt anything like it. needless to say, this doesnt make me feel too good. how do i go about it? i dont want to loose him i just want to be good enough. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 You should never match anyone. You need to be yourself and be loved and adored for who you are not who you can be….
If boyfriend told you that you are second best then he’s a LOUSY person and a worse boyfriend.
WHAT in the world do you not wish to lose about this man, the fact that he makes you feel like crap or the fact that he’s such a jerk as to deliberately make you feel like this?
I have had 3 husbands and many many lovers over many years… The man I am with now, is NOT the best or even close to the best lover I’ve ever had. But I would never tell him that. As far as he knows , he rocks my world… and he does in his way…..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): End it. I was in almost this exact situation, although my boyfriend was still in contact with the ex, and I finally put my foot down and said that if he wanted to try and rebuild a friendship with her that was fine but I wouldn't sit around and be his second choice. We ended the relationship but thankfully have managed to salvage our friendship. Surprisingly, it hurt far less than I was expecting, and it's amazing how quickly you realise what it's done to your self-confidence once that self-confidence starts to return - I'm me again, and I never even realised how little like me I'd become. He's not worth your time or effort if he's going to treat you like this, you deserve better, and so you need to leave him so that one day you can find it :) x
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 January 2012):
Love is not a competition.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 January 2012):
Love is not a competition.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 January 2012):
You don't. You dump him. He's already made it clear that you're second best, so why settle for that when you can find better elsewhere? If someone said this to me, I'd just dump them. It sounds like this guy's living in a fantasy land or something.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 January 2012):
 He told you you were 2nd best? What a tool. Why on earth would you be willing to settle for that?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 January 2012):
 What an awful thing of him to say, even if it's true you don't go ahead and say it to your current girlfriend.
If that's the way he feels, what more can you do than you already are? He likes you enough to be in a relationship with you, but if he's told you you'll never live up to her, what can you do?
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