A
female
age
26-29,
*bsolutely_Maddi
writes:I've got a situation.. I'm a 15 year old girl that's in love with a 22 year old man. I met him when I had just turned 15 one month before and he had been 21 for about 7 months. We started talking and when we hung out for the first time it was like we had known each other forever. There was no awkward silences and the conversations never stopped. We continued to hang out for the remainder of the summer until he went back to college and I started school again. He goes to college 4 hours away. But we stayed close. We talked every day, even when he was gone.And when he come home, we always hang out and there's never a time when i don't think about him. He's everything to me and the feelings are mutual. My parents don't know anything about us, they don't even know who he is. I need advice on how to handle this relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 January 2012):
 What I'd like to know is how you can constantly hang out with the guy when he's home and not have your parents know. Heckfire you can't even drive yet! What's wrong with parents these days?
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (24 January 2012):
 There is no relationship.
Ugh, the thought of that makes me shudder. My boyfriend just turned 22 and to imagine him hanging out with 15 year olds? Ew. That makes me sick.
I'd want to ask why can't a 22 year old man find a woman within his age range?
This is pedophilia. You are still a CHILD who has a lot to learn about the world and about how love and dating work. He is an adult who has probably had his fair share of girlfriends already. He has an advantage over you - life experience. I bet he says all the right things to make you feel giddy, and warm and fuzzy when you think about him.
You need to stop hanging out with him and keep him at arms distance until you turn 18. You also need to tell your parents so they can do their job of protecting you and keeping him away.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 January 2012):
 For RIGHT NOW he is too old for you and YOU KNOW it and that’s why you have NOT told your parents.
IF you are having physical contact with him he can go to jail for statutory rape. So that must stop now.
YOU MUST tell mom and dad about him and HE NEEDS to back off for three years till you are 18….
While there is a small chance at 22 he’s truly interested in you I doubt it. Unless he is very very immature and then what do you want with him anyway?
I’ll give you an option for still seeing him. IF he takes this option then he’s truly interested… if he says NO then he’s not interested for the right reasons.
ONE OPTION ONLY other than go away for three years:
He sees you ONLY as a friend and ONLY with your parents present. Cut and dried. ONLY option at this point.
AND you must tell the parents. IF I as a mother found out my 15 yr old child was having ANY type of a relationship with a MAN of 22 I would so fast have his head on a platter and potentially his butt in jail your little head would spin…..
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A
female
reader, peacelovecandy +, writes (23 January 2012):
 Trust me with everything and DON'T keep seeing this guy. It will cause trouble and so much heartbreak for you! When I was 15, I was head over heels for a 21yo. He was in a band (should've been an early warning sign for me, sigh) and was quite the popular dude. I met him through a friend of mine that went to local shows. I didn't like him at first, but the next day I felt like I was in love. To be honest, I'm still not over him. He was amazing, and we hung out constantly. We got so close to having sex, but we both stopped it. If we didn't stop it, there would have been consequences. My parents found out I was always with him, and they didn't want me seeing him anymore. I didn't obey, and it got me into more trouble. I loved this guy to pieces, but now two years later, I realized how idiotic I was. He didn't really like me - he just wanted me. His friends told me everything he told me was a lie. He knows far too many pretty girls that will give him anything he wants. Luckily I was harder to get. DO NOT continue a serious relationship with this guy - it will hurt you in the long run! Even if he seems nice, his intentions may not be so nice. I now have a wonderful boyfriend who is only a year older than me, and our relationship is much more manageable. I really wish you good luck, and I hope you can sort through this! 3
Feel free to mail me if you want more insight - I've been through hell and back revolving around this issue!
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A
female
reader, Happy_Heart5  +, writes (22 January 2012):
Sweetheart do not continue seeing this much older man. There is a word for his kind, a pedophile. Him being nice, is actually him grooming you.
This will only result in an ego boost for him & hurt for you.
Age is not so much of an issue when you're past the consent age of 18.
You are a young girl. This man, by all means, is an adult. He is more mature than you & much more experienced. There is a power imbalance; the age difference. He see's this as an advantage.
I can tell you from experience that seeing an older man was a BIG mistake. I'm 18 & he was in his mid-20's. There was an 8 year age gap. All he wanted from me was SEX & an ego-boost. For us there were no awkward silences, we talked a lot & I felt like I'd known him for a long time. However when he didn't get what he wanted (sex) he was a goner. This shown me that he had no care for me whatsoever.
I can honestly tell you from advice I've had (& I'm 18) no man would have a healthy interest in a 15 year old girl. That was advice that came from my parents & the mans best friend.
I understand that you're starting to fall for him, but get out of this before you fall any deeper. Please do the wise thing & cut contact with him.
Inform your parents about this, they will give you the final piece of advice which will be crucial in making your decision.
He won't be the love of your life sweetheart, you just have to accept this & move on.
All the best x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): hey from experience.. dnt tell ur parents right away bring it up casually and make it seem like a retorical question and see how they react.. if its not bad tlk more about it but i wldnt say any names or anything until u know for sure they aint gna freak out about it but like they said it can get him in a lot of trouble when my parents found out i was datin a 21 year old at 15 they filed against him and he did 3 months in jail and is on probation or whatever also registered as a sex offender and the sad part is i defended him the whole way and it still ruined his life so if ur gna do it keep it quiet
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 January 2012):
 This man is a paedophile, what level-headed 22 year old ADULT wants to date a 15 year old CHILD?
Just imagine one day if your 15 year old daughter came to you and told you she was dating a 22 year old man? What advice would you give? Would you want to contact the police? I sure as hell know I would.
Do not contact this man again...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): You confess all to your parents, tell them you wised up in time, reassure them it's over, and then inform him via phone, text, or e-mail you will not see him again; also mention he can be expecting a follow-up message from your parents confirming they see no reason to get the cops involved as long as he stays far far far far away. He's a 21-year-old "dating" a legally non-consenting minor behind her parents' backs because any grown woman (including your mother) would immediately recognize him as a creep and a loser and a jerk, while he can "impress" a 15-year-old girl with his sophistication and maturity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): Firstly you should tell your parents as soon as possible. Your 15 and he is 21 years old, so if the relationship becomes sexual, yur boyfriend could end up with a criminal record and on the sex offenders register because you are underage. How you handle this relationship, is to be honest about it with your parents, and think about the situation your in. You may thing that age doesn't matter but when your 15 a 7 year age difference is a lot.
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