A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:I had been talking to this guy from online for a week. He was amped to meet me and the night before we met he told me that he only dates one person at a time, he asked if im gonna meet anyone else and i said no that i only planned to meet him, we had a discussion about what we want - goals in life, he said he wants a relationship/wants a family etc. Hes 33, im 28. Next night *sunday*, We met and went to a bar, we got along well, he invited me to disneyland because he has a pass and i can go for free (as a future plan), he also offered to help me with my car issues (we were talkin bout cars,so i wasnt hinting at anything) and we didnt want to end the date so we grabbed beer,went back to his place and watched a movie.He later asked to kiss me and a kiss turned into fooling around and then oral sex. It was so passionate..and yeah we got out of hand. After..we just laid there, talking etc and he stroked my hair. We planned to hang again in 3 days *wednesday* (he had me pick the day) We started fooling around again and ended up having sex.(I dont do one night stands, and mentioned that after). All he wanted to do was cuddle and chill with me after. he wanted to nap with me and i told him i had to go. He kept askin why i needed to leave and said i should just stay and seemed bummed i was leaving. He walked me to my car, we held hands. He kissed me a bunch and asked me to msg when i get home to make sure i got home safe.i did. we've talked daily since then, mainly cause i wanted to check on our plans..i said we could play video games/movies and he said "Sounds good to me:)". He told me we could meet up 7ish but wasnt sure exactly when hed get out. (early in our sunday date way before we were intimate he had said that his week would be busy on account of extra work/moving shop stuff..cause hes a machinist) So Wednesday rolled around and he still confirmed that we were on, he never canceled and just said that he was still stuck at work..talked to him a cpl hrs later and he said "just got home 15 mins ago, ugh! long day. im beat...probably not a good night to hang out. just too tired, sorry im just too tired :/" . awhile later i left a msg sayin i understood and that maybe we could get together this weekend or he could lemme know when he wants to get together. To me it seemed like he liked me, considering he offered to fix my car, invited me to disneyland and didnt want me to go home, practically begged me to stay and just happened to be exhausted tonight and canceled. But of course part of me feels like hes blowing me off..cause i can get negative sometimes. Am i worrying about nothing? it seems if he wasnt interested, he wouldve ignored my txts and wouldnt have asked me to msg when i get home etc.. why even reply. ya know? I know we shouldnt have slept together but i cant take it back..so ohwell.
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at work, one night stand, oral sex, video games Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 January 2012):
 The biggest red flag is you two got physical on the first meeting and then again. Has there been a time of where you two weren't physical?
He also hasn't taken you on a proper date. Going to a bar isn't exactly a first date. That's a let's get you drunk, take you back to my place kind of date. You also should've avoided going back to his place on the first date, because that shows you're open to more. So I would've been specific about the no one night stands, that way you could've held your ground on the getting intimate.
I don't know if he's actually going to get back to you. He could've been telling you the truth, then again he could be blowing smoke up your rear.
I'm very wary of guys who start off really strong in planning future dates on the first date. Usually it doesn't ever play out like they planned. Being eager like that is questionable behavior.
Wait a few more days and see if you two actually meet up again. I would leave the planning up to him and this time refrain from sexual activities. It could turn into a FWB quicker than you think.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): As a guy, my first instinct is that this man isn't that interested in you. I would never cancel a date with a woman I like at the last minute unless something unforeseen and pretty important came up. Just being tired isn't enough. I'm not going to blame it all on the fact that you had sex with him pretty quickly, but I do think that may be a factor too.
When it comes to dating, I believe the focus should be on what a person does and not what they say. So never mind that he "futured" you in on plans like disneyland and fixing your car... his action of canceling the next date at the last minute (without good cause) says more. So it is my conclusion that if you want a real, serious relationship then this guy probably doesn't fit the bill. Maybe he's a good and genuine guy, but just not that interested. However, it's also possible that he's a bit of a player and just hid it pretty well.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 January 2012):
 I think he was being honest, since you left him a message wit ha suggestion for rescheduling, the ball is on his court.
Give him a day or two to get back to you.
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (12 January 2012):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question well he canceled last night *wednesday* in the evening around 9pm. i called 15 min after and left that voicemail sayin i understood and for him to let me know when hes free etc. i havent heard from him but seein he said he was exhausted, i figured he was asleep. he works as a machinist.When i talked to him on tuesday, he said that he was stuck at work and theyre making him work late, and we talked bout wednesday ad thats when he said that we could meet around 7ish but wasnt sure the exact time hed be out but didnt think itd be much later than usual. But ended up getting home 2 hrs later than he had originally planned. I hope he is truly interested.. because considering ive talked to him since i saw him last.. he had plenty of time to find a way out of our plans if hes not truly interested. so seems like if that was the case, he wouldve just canceled early on, :-0 right?
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 January 2012):
 What does he work as? Has he been in contact since? From what you've described he sounds pretty genuine, give him chance to rarrange then take it from there...
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