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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I want to bed my boyfriend's friend! What should I do?
Q. i love my boyfriend soooo much i have been with him for 6yrs. And he is the sweetest guy u will ever meet he does everything for i mean everything. But his friend is sooooo hotttttt i wanna have sex with him. what do i do?...
A. 8 August 2011: You either break your boyfriends heart or don't have sex with his friend - its pretty simple.
Not sure you love him that much if you want to have sex with his friend though, that doesn't so much like the thing a loving girlfriend would do....... (read in full...)
I'm 19. Could I still grow taller and get facial hair?
Q. I'm 19 years old and I have come to believe I'm a late bloomer. Both my brother and my dad were early bloomers. My brother hitting 6'1 by 14 and my dad already having thick arm hair at 12. Me? I just started growing navel hair like last year and my ...
A. 8 August 2011: I'm 19, I'm 5'6 have to shave about once a fortnight because my facial hair doesn't grow fast and isn't prickly at all. Don't have super hairy arms or legs, no hair on my chest and have about 10 long hairs on my naval area.
I used to be really s... (read in full...)
I think this girl might be the missing piece in my life but she doesn't feel the same
Q. Hi I am a single man, but having problems finding out what's makes me happy lately. I have started to get feelings for one of the only people I can trust, but she doesn't like me the way I like her. She is amazing, everything a guy would want. ...
A. 5 August 2011: There's not a lot you can do bud. I've been in the exact same situation as yourself a couple of months back so I know how horrible it feels.
She's since moved on from hanging out with me all the time to some other guy, it took a while to get over... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? Am I weird for this?
Q. What is wrong with me? am I weird? is it normal? My ex boyfriend and I broke up 6months and I've not been with anyone else since. I had a lot of guys come my way but they all wanted sex, but I can't have casual sex, I've got to be in lo...
A. 1 August 2011: Not at all, there will be millions of people the same as you.
You should be proud of yourself that you see sex as an intimate experience between two people who love each other and not just a casual act.
Hope this helps x... (read in full...)
Have I missed my chance to ask her out and does she see us as just friends?
Q. Alright this is kind of a 2 part question, so there is this girl i had met at university who i really liked and coincidentally she lived in the room next to mine in residence so we got to know one another by the end of the year. So here is my probl...
A. 29 July 2011: Chance it, ask her. You never know and it could be a decision that pays off.
Nothing ventured nothing gained - good luck buddy!... (read in full...)
Never had a girlfriend or even been kissed and this bothers me to no end!
Q. I am an 18 year old male. I'm kind of frustrated. It seems that every one of my friends has a significant other and when I hang out with them I always feel like I'm getting in the way. I have never had a girlfriend or even been kissed and this ...
A. 29 July 2011: Nothing ventured, nothing gained...
I used to be like you, I lacked confidence with girls, didn't know how to approach them and didn't feel attractive.
I've made changes in my life, realised that I'm young and don't need a relationship as ... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear that I want him to take my virginity?
Q. I have the most lovely boyfriend and we have been dating for a while now. We can get a bit frisky when we are alone and I know that we work together. The thing is that I would like to move it to the next level and would like to do "the deed". The ...
A. 26 July 2011: Take the lead, do as you normally do for a bit of foreplay and maybe try a bit of dirty talk or something to really get him turned on and in the mood.
When you're ready for it, maybe climb on top and then fully take the lead so he knows that you... (read in full...)
How can I feel sexy again? The guy I was seeing doesn't seem interested anymore.
Q. Hi... Lately I've felt tired all the time, and I feel really sensitive about my body. I feel fat. I feel as though the man I was seeing has lost interest in me because I'm not sexy anymore. He rarely texts me unless he wants a favour. And when...
A. 22 July 2011: What kind of 'favour' is he asking for? As if it's sexual and you're only being contacted for that reason, then I'm sorry to say but you're a 'booty call'.
You should want to look good for yourself, no-one else! Do something that will make you... (read in full...)
How is it that love doesn't find everyone?
Q. How is it that anyone can find love, but love doesnt find everyone? If theres someone 4 everyone, why is it that some never find anyone?...
A. 10 July 2011: How hard are you looking?
Join local clubs that interest you, dating websites, take up a new hobby - I know it can be hard at times my friend, sometimes it's enough for you to become so down about it that you don't want to bother anymore.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to cry so much, in front of my girlfriend?
Q. Im in a distant relationship with my cute girlfriend, i really love her so much, i always write poems and songs for her, Everytime im with her as we talk deeply i really lose it and cry in front of her, even when she is not there, everytime i send ...
A. 8 July 2011: Women like masculine guys, guys who can protect and look over them, they don't want someone who cries when they start speaking about feelings.
Don't get me wrong, opening up and talking to girls about your feelings is fine, but crying is not. You... (read in full...)
Opinions on beards please!!
Q. Hiyaaaaa, Well this isn't really a problem more off a personal opinion and preference! I don't do art as a subject anymore but I recently bumped into my art teacher and saw him with a beard!!!!! So guys why would you guys grow a beard or ...
A. 8 July 2011: I think the only way that any sort of beard on a man looks good is a thin chin strap.... (read in full...)
Do you guys have any good tips on lasting longer? And reducing my performance anxiety?
Q. Firstly, I have been with two partners, and the first was a bit of a bad experience but the second one was a lot better, and when we first started sleeping together after the first few times of nerves I was fine and the sex was great. However, afte...
A. 7 July 2011: Tactical wank an hour or so before sex should do the trick.
I always seemed to last longer when I was masturbating a lot as well. If I didn't do it for a few days, I didn't seem to last as long.
Hope this helps.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is always using my insecurity against me!
Q. I am very insecure about myself, and my boyfriend knows it. But it feels like he is always using my insecurities against me in some way. He always is going on and on about how clumsy I am, and its not in a gentle teasing manner either. He is ...
A. 6 July 2011: Congrats for dumping him, but I hope you told somebody that he hit you! That is not acceptable for a guy to hit a girl and he needs to be punished for it.
That just shows you made the right decision in dumping him!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is always using my insecurity against me!
Q. I am very insecure about myself, and my boyfriend knows it. But it feels like he is always using my insecurities against me in some way. He always is going on and on about how clumsy I am, and its not in a gentle teasing manner either. He is ...
A. 4 July 2011: This sounds like emotional abuse, he's belittling you and making it out like you are inferior to him. Tell him it's got to stop or you'll show him the door.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I only see him fleetingly. Will my solution to get closer to this cute guy work?
Q. So, there's this cute boy that I get to see every day for like... five seconds. That's all. We are PERFECT strangers, and because I really don't have the time to talk to him (my bus gets in basically at the same time as I see him), it's probably ...
A. 28 June 2011: I think that'd work fine and he'd be flattered that a girl is approaching him and making the first move.
I know I would be!
Good luck!!... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 28 June 2011: Amen to this...I strongly agree with the nice guys finish last phrase so you've helped me to restore some faith in the females of the planet.
Thankyou!!... (read in full...)
Loving my vibrator, am I a nympho ?
Q. Okay so im starting to ask myself if im a sex addict because I want sex all the time, anywhere. I do have a boyfriend and I only have sex with him, I don't cheat. But anyway, every single time im home alone or almost everynight I use my vibrator. ...
A. 28 June 2011: Wouldn't say there's anything wrong with that at all, enjoy it if anything!... (read in full...)
How should I ask a girl out?
Q. After going out on a few informal dates with a girl I met a couple of months ago now, I’ve decided I want to ask her out as (stating the obvious) I like her, and I’m pretty sure she likes me! Anyhow, my last relationship was over four years ago and ...
A. 28 June 2011: Maybe something along the lines of: 'Hey so we've been friends for a while now and I've enjoyed hanging out and spending time with you, I'd really like to move forward with you and go beyond friends into something more serious'
Just let her know... (read in full...)
I want to build muscle but everyone will make fun of me!
Q. I'm embarrassed even to ask this. I want to work out and build some muscle (I'm kinda weedy). But if I buy some weights and stuff for home I know family and mates will think its funny cos I'm the lanky one and the last person they would expect to ...
A. 27 June 2011: You don't have to say anything man, just be happy and proud of yourself that you're changing your body for the better, let everybody else say whatever they like whilst they're slobbing out eating their junk food and what not...
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He has hit me before, but it was a accident...
Q. I need advice, My live in boyfriend is a great guy but he has a very bad past. His father beat him and his mother all the time till she divorced him. I am scared he will turn out like him because he is very mean to me at times and he has hit me ...
A. 25 June 2011: No man hits a woman through an accident, this guys is already showing various red flags, leave him immediately.... (read in full...)
He will only hold my hand when we are out in public, but will hug and kiss other people! Can someone explain his behaviour?
Q. My crush is a very sociable-touchy guy. He'll hug both boys and girls, kiss them on the cheek etc. When we're alone he's extremely sweet, romantic and touchy with me (yes, we've hooked up several time). However, when we're out with friends he limit...
A. 24 June 2011: Yep, talkinghelps is right...
A hug is just a couple of second thing, him holding your hands shows that he wants to say, look at me and my girl! He's also putting his arm around your shoulder, always keeping you close and you are unhappy that he ... (read in full...)
What do men think if a woman asks them out?
Q. Question for the guys; what do you think of girls asking guys out first? It's just that there's this guy in the year above me at 6th form (he's 18, going to university soon, I'm 17). He's most definitely the cocky confident type but I think he's sli...
A. 23 June 2011: Celtic_tiger is right.
He's going to be surrounded by girls everyday, he will be going out on the weekends getting drunk and you can't say for sure he'd be faithful.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but I wouldn't recommend asking... (read in full...)
I broke up with him too many times and now he doesn't want anything to do with me! What should I do?
Q. hello, im 15 and i've been in a relationship for 1 and 3 almost 4 months with my boyfriend. i broke up so many times with him and it seems like he doesnt love me the same anymore and i've realized i did a huge mistake. he treated me so nicely. our ...
A. 23 June 2011: You've kinda brought this upon yourself, you can't expect a guy to keep chasing you after you break his heart so many times.
Maybe he's found a girl who is going to treat him right the first time - Talk to him, ask him what you need to do to show ... (read in full...)
Touching at work and a jealous boyfriend.....what do you think?
Q. The shop where I work is pretty cramped, with a lot of people, often during busy times we will accidentally bump into each other. My problem is this, sometimes some of the guys (and girls) will gently put a hand on the waist to pass, or a small tap ...
A. 23 June 2011: Well if your boyfriend gets jealous that someone is trying to get past you, god knows what would happen if you cheated on him.
I'm sorry but this isn't even an issue, this isn't intimate touching, it's a way of getting past someone or apologis... (read in full...)
My ex used to insult me and ridicule my body to such an extent, that its affecting me even now, in my present relationship.
Q. In 2007 I met my ex, who I was with for 2 years. During the beginning/insanely happy stage of the relationship he was lovely, but then he started to really insult me; no violence at all, but he used to call me fat every day. I wasn't, I was a UK 14 ...
A. 23 June 2011: "A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011):
They are all the same...Guys are no good because they make us feel bad."
Now hold on just one second, that's not true at all. I'd never dream of insulting a girlfriend, I'm with her because I l... (read in full...)
I want to see her again. How can I avoid coming on too strong?
Q. I'm just looking for some guidance really. I met a girl over a dating website some time ago and we've been talking for a few months now. We finally had the chance to meet yesterday, so we went out and we seemed to have a very nice evening. We got ...
A. 23 June 2011: Give it a couple of days and then try and set something else up.
She sounds into you if she had a good time too and she's already told you that she'd like to see you again, so take it from there, give her a few days to think about you and then cal... (read in full...)
Is it that bad that I get frequent pictures of my newborn nephew from my sister? My wife is making a big deal out of this!
Q. I have been a husband for almost 5 years now. My wife and I fight all the time. I wanted to get advice for the most recent reason she got mad at me. My sister just had a baby a few weeks ago and has been sending me a text message with a picture ...
A. 23 June 2011: I'm sorry but what the hell is your wife's problem? Why would anyone complain that your sister is sending you pictures of her kid?
Sounds like your wife is just trying to pick an argument over anything. Just tell her to back off, she's a member o... (read in full...)
Should I let him go, or change like he has asked me to?
Q. I've following your website for quite sometime now and honestly I could relate in anyways. I have problem myself regarding my long time relationship. It's been making me confuse on what to do. My boyfriend has been showing signs of coldness ...
A. 23 June 2011: Sounds to me like he thinks that you are controlling on deciding what you guys do and that you don't trust him very much to accuse him of treating.
Relationships are supposed to work both ways, give him some space, let him make some decision... (read in full...)
She is so cold towards me, how can I change this?
Q. I feel pain. I feel sadness. I feel jealousy. I thought I am over it already. This year I love my female best friend somwhow and at the start everything was perfect. We used to laugh at each other jokes and all sort of wonderful things. However ...
A. 23 June 2011: Not a lot you can do really...
You can either continue to stay in contact with her and try to speak to her more, however this may push her away even further if she doesn't want to speak to you anymore.
Other than that, it's time to move on ... (read in full...)
Why am I into older men?
Q. Why am I into older men.? I'm 16 and ever since I was a little girl, I never really liked the people my age. I would always have crushes on older men. I even had a crush on Jackie Chan... yeah.. Right now I'm dating a man 5 years older than me and ...
A. 23 June 2011: Maybe you see guys your own age is being immature? Older men have responsibilities to tend to in life which makes them more mature, they don't have the time to act childish and mess around like kids your age still do in school/college...... (read in full...)
What's the problem? Is this just the way he is?
Q. Basically, I like this guy and he likes me too. We go to the same University but live quite far away from each other so we've been trying to keep in contact and it's going quite well. We talk every day and we're always very jokey towards each oth...
A. 23 June 2011: Or maybe he only sees you as a friend? I know for sure if I liked a girl I'd be at least trying to flirt or subtly show her my feelings.
If you're not getting that vibe, maybe he's just not interested? Maybe try to show your feelings a little a... (read in full...)
Confusing crush....is he interested?
Q. Hey guys , I need some help understanding my crush . I haven't known him very long but I'm very keen on him and feel there is some sort of connection .. Thing is I didn't know he had a girlfriend because he never spoke about being taken so I fell ...
A. 23 June 2011: Easy way to find out yourself is cut down on the messages, try not to initiate contact with him and let him do the chasing...if he starts to speak to you more, then he's interested....if the amount of contact starts to dwindle then he was just ... (read in full...)
How often do guys think about sex?
Q. Okaay, this is a bit of an odd question, but following this conversation I had with one of my guy friends about how often guys think about sex (7 seconds, or something??) I was wondering: Guys, how often do you think about having sex with girls yo...
A. 23 June 2011: Short answer is.....A lot - Probably hundreds of times of day and the slightest thing can set me off.
Especially if there's someone that I'm attracted to at the minute!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 22 June 2011: Well she's already told you that she will, relax man. Just get together and go with the flow.
See what happens...
Good luck... (read in full...)
I wanted to tell her I liked her, but it came out wrong and now she thinks I hate her! How do I sort this out?
Q. I put myself in a little troubled situation, and I'm looking for advices of any kind: I told a classmate of mine i liked her exploiting the fact that I gave her a ride home. A couple of things to know: it was a while i wanted to tell her that, b...
A. 22 June 2011: Simple, tell her that you like her...what you wanted to say came out wrong...easy as that.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I split up with my boyfriend but he wont stop being clingy! Why is he behaving like this?
Q. I've been with this guy for over a year now and at first everything was fine, it was a casual, fun relationship. However down the line, about 7 months, he turned into a different person. He started questionning me about my every move, questionni...
A. 22 June 2011: "I'll be gutted to see him with someone else"
Ummm, may I ask why? On 2 occasions he has shown aggression though violence and called you some horrendous names - You should be thinking thank god I escaped that one...
That's just the way some guy... (read in full...)
I had hoped for so long to be in a relationship with him, but now we are together he is the one that expresses his feelings more than I do. Why is this?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy two years my junior. We have been friends for almost a year before we started dating. Whilst we were friends, I always wished we'd be in a relationship so it made my day when he finally agreed to it two months ago. ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'm gonna take a guess that you guys were very close friends and he always payed you a lot of attention? Compliments and the like?
Sounds to me like you've become a bit bored of all the affection now and wish he would become a bit more masculin... (read in full...)
How can I get my mum to stop opening my mail?
Q. Ok so here's my problem, I'm 21 years old and have lived away from home for about 4 years, working full time. This year I decided to go back into education so moved back home during term time. I come from a good family, however my mum is kind of ...
A. 22 June 2011: Tell her to stop intruding your privacy, the letters are addressed to you for a reason. If she keeps doing it, start to open her mail, see how she likes it...... (read in full...)
My best friend told me I should avoid him because of the age difference, but my other friend said I should go after him if I want him. What do I do?
Q. I've been doing work experience for a month and today was my last day. The 18 year old guy (he just turned 18 a week ago) is my boss/ supervisor (he's not head boss, just of our section). I do really like him in both ways, and I knew him a little ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'd be a little wary of this guy, I don't know many 18 year olds that would try and date someone in the 13-15 age range - I may be talking rubbish and he may be the real deal, I can't say for sure.
What is the reason he hasn't got a girlfrie... (read in full...)
I want to build muscle but everyone will make fun of me!
Q. I'm embarrassed even to ask this. I want to work out and build some muscle (I'm kinda weedy). But if I buy some weights and stuff for home I know family and mates will think its funny cos I'm the lanky one and the last person they would expect to ...
A. 22 June 2011: Congratulations for making one of the best decisions in your life...I've been seriously lifting for about 3 months now and have seen great gains already.
Firstly, ignore whatever the hell anyone else has to say, this is a fantastic decision... (read in full...)
Is it weird for a guy to not be too keen on sex?
Q. Hey guys! Is it weird for a guy not to be big on sex? My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and he doesnt seem to want to have sex that much, or barely ever. I know sex isnt a big part of a relationship, but it is nice to ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'd say it's a little weird, considering most men would be happy to have sex every single day of their life if they could..
Have you had sex before? or will this be your first time? Also have you had sex before? or are you both virgins?
Because... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 22 June 2011: Congrats man!
And yeah, she is saying she doesn't want to make you feel like she did when she broke up with her BF.
Just try it out, hopefully everything goes well for you guys and even if it doesn't work out, you will then know and at leas... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 21 June 2011: I'd definately think about telling her how you feel VERY SOON, leave it too long and you're going to fall into the friend zone and believe me buddy, it's like a bottomless pit.
If you tell her, at least she knows, it may be awkward for a while bu... (read in full...)
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