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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Was he over the top to break up over this after 2 years together? Was he looking for an excuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in April of this year. He had found out I was on dating sites again. I did not want to meet anyone, because I was in love with him. I used to go on dating sites to tease the guys on them and had no intention of meet...
A. 24 December 2012: If I found my GF on dating websites even once she would be out the door, never mind numerous times.
Don't be so cheeky to think he was 'looking' for an excuse, you broke his trust by doing something stupid, take responsibility for your actions ... (read in full...)
He got pissed off and told me to leave when I told him I didn't like oral sex...
Q. I have been talking to this guy for 4 months now and I think the relationship is based on sex. He drives trucks and is on the road a lot which leaves us to hang out 2 or 3 times a week. Whenever we hang out its just at his house we watch movies eat ...
A. 18 December 2012: Continue you life without him in it. Simple.... (read in full...)
What do these signs mean? Does she fancy me?
Q. I have a girlfriend and have no intentions in pursuing this other girl but I am never good reading signals. I think she may just be a tease though she is really forward with me. Shes always giggling when shes talking to me laughing , saying how ...
A. 17 December 2012: Sounds like she likes you yes, but what does it matter if you aren't interested anyway?... (read in full...)
He is updating his profiles on dating sites and this is unsettling me, what should I do?
Q. I've been with a guy for close to 8 months now. He has helped me a lot with issues from my previous relationship. (Had gotten out of a 2 year relationship and cut myself from my friends who dragged me out 7 months after when I met this guy). He's b...
A. 13 December 2012: Dating sites in a relationship is a no-no.
Why would he need to check them? He has a gf that he wants to marry apparantly...That said, it would be unusual for him to be so open with you using the computer if he was doing something wrong on those... (read in full...)
What to do? Shall I give my Gf a third chance?
Q. okay so long story short...i am currently with my gf of 8 months. We started out as best friends and eventually started dating (finally got out of the friendzone :) ) But now we are starting to have problems. In the beginning of the relation...
A. 11 December 2012: You didnt force her if you KEPT asking her and she said its fine, if she told you it wasnt okay at the time but you went ahead, that is forced sex.
If you cant trust her anymore then there isnt a very solid foundation for the relationship to stand... (read in full...)
My FWB says that he's not cheating on his girlfriend with me because apparently I'm not a service , I'm just a girl who he likes in lust
Q. I am 19 years of age and now is in an affair with a man who is 29 who has a girlfriend he has been dating for 8 years. He says shes his best friend, with her he has a so called life , clean clothes to wear. But he is unsure if he wants/or is going ...
A. 11 December 2012: He says hes not cheating? Hold on a second.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....sorry, had to get that out of my system. How can he EVEN BEGIN to ju... (read in full...)
The past is not always in the past and lies hurt!
Q. Ok this is more of a post rather than a question and I've been wanting to post this for awhile and feel I want to be an advocate to those that have been hurt and lied to and has damaged there lives so with that said here I go .thismay be all over ...
A. 10 December 2012: At the end of the day, people are entitled to their own opinions on whatever topic of conversation.
I agree with what you said, but people are always going to have opinions that differ to your own. You cant shoot them down and vice versa, because ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my best friend and I don't know why!
Q. I think I'm losing my best friend. We have been friends for 12 years, but lately we've been really strained. I moved hours away, and we hardly ever talk anymore. I had to come back for immediate eye surgery which I told her about and she calls me ...
A. 10 December 2012: Tell her exactly how you feel, if she really is a best friend then she will come through for you and patch things up.
If not, then she sounds like a bit of a waste of time.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend uses porn to "practice". Should I be concerned?
Q. Me and my bf have been together for a little over a year. He occasionally watches porn when im not around. we dont live together...and only see each other about once a week. hes always honest, caring and loving and we have a great relationship. we ...
A. 10 December 2012: To learn and practice on you? Did you know your bf was planning to shot a porno starring you guys?
Porn is purely for entertainment and to give people a quick relief, you dont watch porn to 'practice' anything, because most of the things in porn,... (read in full...)
Why did my ex say all that he did?
Q. I bumped into my ex in a pub yesterday. He told me that he had seen me in another pub earlier that day, as he was walking past the pub at the time, but when he went in that pub later on, i had left. I was surprised that he noticed that i had left. ...
A. 10 December 2012: If you have a bf, why would you care what your ex thinks about you? Considering that he sounds like a w*nker from this experience?... (read in full...)
I really don't want to let this guy get away ...
Q. I met this boy a few months ago and I've had a huge crush on him for a while. His girlfriend broke up with him around then too so he's not looking for a serious relationship. Anyway, we've hooked up twice so far (we kissed a lot and slept together ...
A. 10 December 2012: You dont really have a choice.
If he isnt interested in you in that way, do you really want to continue seeing this guy daily and having your feelings grow knowing that nothing is going to happen?
Sounds like you are just setting yourself... (read in full...)
She accused me of cheating, but she's on a dating site?
Q. I have had to constantly re-assure my girlfriend since day one. I have put up with allegations that I am cheating or will end up cheating on her. I am often accused of finding others attractive when we are out. Despite this, I have tried to ...
A. 10 December 2012: Its pretty common that people who are actually cheating are very insecure of their partner doing the same.
Id say you need to have a serious talk with her to get to the bottom of why she is using dating sites and claiming to be single. If she does... (read in full...)
I got pushed and want to know..if there could be any damage to my unborn baby?
Q. I was just wondering if any damage would be done to my baby. Im 31 weeks pregnant and i got pushed and hit my back. my whole body is sore and my baby's movement has decreased im scared and worried i need help. ...
A. 9 December 2012: For crying out loud it did it again lol
What im trying to say, is go to the doctors... (read in full...)
I got pushed and want to know..if there could be any damage to my unborn baby?
Q. I was just wondering if any damage would be done to my baby. Im 31 weeks pregnant and i got pushed and hit my back. my whole body is sore and my baby's movement has decreased im scared and worried i need help. ...
A. 9 December 2012: Damn it.
That was supposed to read 'Doctors Strangers on the internet'... (read in full...)
I got pushed and want to know..if there could be any damage to my unborn baby?
Q. I was just wondering if any damage would be done to my baby. Im 31 weeks pregnant and i got pushed and hit my back. my whole body is sore and my baby's movement has decreased im scared and worried i need help. ...
A. 9 December 2012: Doctors Strangers on internet... (read in full...)
My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 9 December 2012: Terrible idea.
For starters it is illegal, it gives him ammunition incase you guys ever broke up and finally, at that age he is probabaly just going to end up showing it to all of his mates.
So no, dont do it.... (read in full...)
Am I being used? I want more than to just be his FWB
Q. So there's this guy I've known since high school. We are the same age. Both came out of really bad relationships. We are friends. I went over to his house one day we ended up doing things. Then afterwards, he says "I'm not sure what this means ...
A. 9 December 2012: Yep, hes already told you he wants a FWB. If he wanted a relationship with you, you would have one already.
If you dont want to get hurt, then stop going to his house and being intimate with him or youll just end up getting increasingly attached... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about doing sexual things with a more experienced guy!
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a few months and we've recently told each other we like each other. We were playing the question game and he asked me if i'd like to try being friends with benefits, however: - i've never had a boyfriend - i'v...
A. 3 December 2012: Wooooooooaaaaaahhhhhh, hold on just one minute. Do not even consider getting into a FWB at your age! I can 1000000000% guarentee that you will end up very hurt from it.
Listen from my personal experience when I feel head over heels for a girl who... (read in full...)
While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...
A. 2 December 2012: Also to the female anon, how is the lie not a big deal?
What else could she be lying about?? I had a friend, he was my best friend in fact and he used to lie about the most trivial things ALL THE TIME! It just ground me down so much that we ended... (read in full...)
Saw my best friends fiancée on a dating website. Should I tell him?
Q. I have joined a dating site. I have seen a profile of my life long best friends soon to be wife. She is active on it and it says she is single. What do I do? If I told him would it end up where she lies to him and I get classed as a trouble causer? ...
A. 2 December 2012: I would make sure you get proof of it first if you plan on telling him so that you have concrete evidence so it doesnt blow up in your face.
Take screenshots, photos, whatever. Just so you have back up. If he is your best mate then you wont wan... (read in full...)
While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...
A. 2 December 2012: I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with someone who openly admts that they are willing to cheat, but thats just me.... (read in full...)
I have to choose between 2 very different jobs and soon! What would you do?
Q. I have a very difficult decision to make and I need help. It's a choice between 2 very different jobs. I am currently working in sales, I don't like sales much at all, it's a retail job with part time hours. I applied for a new job in the police ...
A. 1 December 2012: Give it a chance I say.
I was in the same boat, worked 9-5 in factories and offices and found it terrible. I took a step back and tried to find a career path to be proud and happy with and I'm exceptionally close to joining the Army as a military... (read in full...)
Boyfriends best friend is constantly with us and it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know what to do!
Q. Afternoon. :) I have a little situation with my boyfriend, we live in halls (college halls) and because of this, we live together all the time, we share the same room etc. We have literally no issue with this, we get on so well and everything i...
A. 1 December 2012: Well if you cant tell your boyfriend, then what are advice are you expecting? lol Get a password activated front door?
The only thing that you CAN do is tell your boyfriend. How else is he going to know that you feel very uncormfortable with the... (read in full...)
He made a commitment to be with me, but is still chatting up girls on the dating site we met on.
Q. I met my boyfriend on an online dating/chat website about 7 months ago. We were just friends for about 5 months before we both agreed to be in a committed relationship. We live two states apart and we visit each other at least every few months. ...
A. 1 December 2012: Can she not take a screenshot of the chat or give you any kind of proof?
If it turns out that he's not doing this kind of thing and then you make a new account to chat to him to tempt him into that kind of thing, then that could cause a whole lo... (read in full...)
He made a commitment to be with me, but is still chatting up girls on the dating site we met on.
Q. I met my boyfriend on an online dating/chat website about 7 months ago. We were just friends for about 5 months before we both agreed to be in a committed relationship. We live two states apart and we visit each other at least every few months. ...
A. 1 December 2012: Please explain how a comitted relationship involves one half of it claiming that they are single whilst sending other people sexually explicit messages and asking to hook up?
If you were the one doing it, would you feel comitted to that relation... (read in full...)
I want to be her last love, what should I do?
Q. I love a girl for two years.we used to sms daily.i didn't say to her,since i respect her family and they respect me.i though time has come and then i told her my love before 6 months.she told she and other love in class.we are just in age of 20.she ...
A. 1 December 2012: Move on.
If she doesn't like you, there is nothing that you can do to ger her too and trying anything could annoy her as she has already told you that she is not interested in you.
I know it will hurt, but you need to move on.... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 29 November 2012: It already sounds like you don't give a f@ck what people think about you.
I'd just keep trucking on with that attitude.
Good luck... (read in full...)
How to not get attached if I am the rebound
Q. My boyfriend (19) is on a rebound, I can tell. And I (19) am his rebound. I am moving away by next year August to another state for sure, so when this guy came up to me, I accepted to date him. Things have moved FAST. 2 weeks and we are already very ...
A. 28 November 2012: If you KNOW that you're a rebound and you don't want that, then why are you even contemplating a 'relationship' with him? If he's hiding you, what does that tell you?
... (read in full...)
Any advice on ways other then oral sex or girl on top, to get my girlfriend to orgasm?
Q. I am in a loving an monogamous long-distance relationship. It's been going swimmingly even though we're both in college. When we do get to see each other (about 5 out of every 30 days) we generally have a lot of sex and its been amazing. The only ...
A. 28 November 2012: If she is orgasming im pretty sure she will be pleased. And why not oral sex? Is that because you wont do it? or you think she will be bored of that too, because for the females ive been with, i dont think its posible for women to dislike oral if ... (read in full...)
Read sexual texts from my girlfriend to another girl, should I forgive her or breakup?
Q. Please guide me with ur answers. N forgive me for the length. My gf and I are lesbians in a long distance relationship separated by an hour n a half. Newayz I noticed some changes in my gf and how she began to treat me. She stop texting sexual and ...
A. 28 November 2012: Imagine this scenario, say I had a girlfriend and she came to you for advice saying that she has seen me text other girls saying that I want to have sex with them what would you tell her?
Apply that to your own situation...
This is a for... (read in full...)
We don't like her, so we bully her. I think she's going to report us, any advice?
Q. in my friendship group there are 20 of us and we're all really close. since about yr6 we've been friends with this other girl,bertha, in yr7 we had a fall out. i felt really bad so i apologised to her face she accepted it, but did not apologise ...
A. 28 November 2012: Really???
How is it hard not to bully someone? Reading things like this makes me wonder how stupid some people really are.
Just tel her that you guys don't want to be friends with her anymore. ôu have literally no idea what psychologial dam... (read in full...)
I'm a nice guy is that why I get friendzoned?
Q. I'm what you could call a nice guy. I hold doors open for girls, always treat them with the respect they deserve, and my friends that are girls say that I'm sweet, ask why more guys aren't like me, and why I'm not dating anyone. Yet, even when I ...
A. 27 November 2012: I have been in your exact situation a long time bro, trust me I know how it feels.
First things first, stop worrying about it. The more you do, the more it's going to get you do. Just go with the flow and something will come along one day, for... (read in full...)
I want to leave my girlfriend but I know it wull hurt her so badly. How do I let her down gently?
Q. I have ben with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years, she is the year above me so we are in different schools. I love her so much and don't want to hurt her but she doesn't excite me anymore and all we do is argue. I feel like she is holding me back ...
A. 26 November 2012: There is no way that she won't be upset considering the time that you've been together.
Just be upfront and explain your reasoning. Don't lie to her as this may harm her chances of changing what she does to make future relationships work and abso... (read in full...)
Why do I go dry during intercourse?
Q. Ciao! I don't know why when i get wet during sexual intercourse it doesn't take time to dry up after which i'll start having pains. When this happens, i wud not enjoy it any longer and that makes my boyfriend because he complains that he's not ...
A. 26 November 2012: 1. That happens over time. Maybe its going on too long.
2. Do not let him complain at you for this issue, that's very wrong on his part.... (read in full...)
Question for the girls out there about responding to texts!
Q. I've a question for the girls out there about responding to texts. Ok.....I'll give a quick example on my situation and then you can hopefully ease my impatient side. I was with this girl at my friends 21st Birthday. She was a lovely girl ...
A. 26 November 2012: If she wanted to reply, she would do.
Maybe she already thinks that you're a little needy with the facebook message. I know a lot of girls that will kiss anything in sight when they've had a few drinks. It doesn' neccesarily mean anything deeper t... (read in full...)
Friendship vs relationship
Q. So basically I want your opinions on whether or not I'm wasting my time. So pretty much my best friend and I have an unspoken of relationship, and its really starting to bother me. A few months ago we finally established that both of us had feelings...
A. 19 November 2012: Give him an ultimatum, tell him that you like him and would like a relationship, that's the only way. This could possibly affect your friendship though if he doesn't feel the same.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Is all this normal... or am I being irrational?
Q. Dear cupid, my boyfriend and I have been together on and off, for nearly four years now. It has had it's good parts and it's bad parts like any relationship I guess but I feel like I have hit a wall in the relationship now. I am coming here because ...
A. 6 November 2012: How can you think you're being irrational when he's cheated on you, yet thinks it's okay to root through your personal life to check if you're cheating on him?? This will never be irrational, if anything, it's common sense to dump this guy who ... (read in full...)
I gave him my virginity and then he said he wasn't into me!
Q. okay so I had sex with this huy for the first time. And it was at my house and it was a very special cause he took my virginity. So anyways after that we were talking and we did it again but at his house. So the next day I told him we should stop ...
A. 18 July 2012: Well I can give you the point of view from the guy's side seeing as I was in this situation a few weeks back. Basically ended up sleeping with a girl who I spoke to a little bit, but wasn't very interested in and now things are awkward, I've seen ... (read in full...)
I'm very jealous and I don't know why.
Q. Hi, I need some advice on how to relax, when ever my boyfriend goes out drinking I get worried and scared thinking something might happen or he will forget about me, Im very jealous and i dont no why, and I don't no how to chill out because he says ...
A. 8 July 2012: Yeah do as honeypie said and concentrate on your life when he's out. Can't you go out with your friends?... (read in full...)
We met online. We are meeting soon. Should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Q. So there is this girl that i meet online and we are going to meet in a couple of days, we live far away from each other, so it will be a long time before i can see her again. So i was wondering if it was okay to ask her to be my girlfriend, as i kn...
A. 2 July 2012: With your update, asking her out sounds even worse of an idea. If you can't hold conversation with her, I doubt she's going to want to be your boyfriend, I don't really see how that will change anything as you're still going to be long distance.... (read in full...)
None of my relationships last a month. We have sex and they're gone. How do I attract a guy who wants more?
Q. I'm 17 about to be 18 at the end of july. well my problem is i cant hold a relationship for longer than a month. it sucks. and it's become worse - where i dont even have a month long relationship, i just have sex then boom thats over. its not t...
A. 2 July 2012: Well can't you see a pretty obvious pattern emerging? You're having sex way too soon.
You're letting a guy talk you into bed. A guy can tell you absolutely anything that you want to hear to make you drop your drawers, you have to watch his acti... (read in full...)
We met online. We are meeting soon. Should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Q. So there is this girl that i meet online and we are going to meet in a couple of days, we live far away from each other, so it will be a long time before i can see her again. So i was wondering if it was okay to ask her to be my girlfriend, as i kn...
A. 2 July 2012: Woah woah woah big guy, hold up for a second. You haven't even met this girl yet! Give the relationship chance to develop or you're just going to come across as very clingy and needy if you're wanting to get into a relationship after the first time ... (read in full...)
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