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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 20 January 2012: Yeah, I understand. This was a pretty stupid question really, it's all down to chemistry and if there is nothing there, then nothings going to develop.... (read in full...)
Acts like he likes me. But never asks me out. Is "Friend" all I can hope for?
Q. I really like this guy, I thought he liked me too, we text and or phone every single day all day from good morning to night night texts etc, at least 20 texts a day!! It was my birthday two weeks ago and he hasn't even mentioned it, I did tell h...
A. 19 September 2011: Is there any particular reason that you can't ask him out? Lol
Women can make the first move as well you know, chance it, it may work out, if not at least you have your answer either way. ... (read in full...)
Should I worry? I can't stop thinking that my boyfriend still talks with his ex.
Q. I've never been to a long term relationship like the one i'm having right now. I was always insecure that the guys are cheaters and they will hurt me, so casual sex was pretty much what i was doing. When i men the guy i'm seeing right now i felt v...
A. 19 September 2011: For the exact reason that you would get mad. You've seen for yourself that he is ignoring the calls and texts - seems to me like he's not very interested in contacting her, he doesn't even have her number anymore! Bare that in mind...... (read in full...)
BF wants us to watch porn together but I'm worried that witnessing my partner getting turned on by someone much better looking than myself will damage my self esteem
Q. Yesterday, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years brought up the subject of watching porn together and said it was something he would like to try. Personally, I have never watched porn before as I have always thought of it as being degrading. I have no ...
A. 18 September 2011: At the end of the day, porn does not even compare to a girlfriend, it simply sounds like something new to try to spice things up.... (read in full...)
Two weeks and he has a new girlfriend??
Q. My ex boyfriend who borke up with me just under two weeks ago now has a new girlfriend, i was upset enough about him breaking up with me as it is just getting over it, and now im depressed again. How do i deal with it :(...
A. 18 September 2011: I know it's hard, but you're the only person who can get yourself out of this down spell.
Keep busy, dive into school/college/work (really get your head down), surround yourself with family and friends (they're there to make you feel better a... (read in full...)
Both of us like each other...but she has a boyfriend!!
Q. Hi all again, I've got a problem this time with a girl I really like. I met her about a month ago and we really like eachother. Even though I knew she had a boyfriend, I told her how I felt about her. She told me that she felt the same way about ...
A. 18 September 2011: If she liked you enough she would come to you.
I always wonder though, if you did hook up with her whilst she was in a relationship, you know she's willing to cheat...
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 15 September 2011: Jeez eyeswideopen, you're on a roll at the minute, your posts are cracking me up!
Yeah, I dont think it would be wise to get back with her purely for her looks, she's treated you like crap in the past and could easily start to do it again. I... (read in full...)
Would that be uncomfortable for him?
Q. Today my boyfriend and I were making out and before I knew it, we were dry humping. It was fine while it happened, but it also seems kind of odd. This is all very new to me so I don't know what to think of it. So after a while, I was rubbing his ...
A. 14 September 2011: Lmao - that was a hilarious answer.
Unfortunately been there done that! Ahahahaha... (read in full...)
Would that be uncomfortable for him?
Q. Today my boyfriend and I were making out and before I knew it, we were dry humping. It was fine while it happened, but it also seems kind of odd. This is all very new to me so I don't know what to think of it. So after a while, I was rubbing his ...
A. 14 September 2011: Nope, that would feel very good, I can assure you! :)... (read in full...)
Lads... honestly, how likely would you be to cheat on your gf on a 'lads holiday'?
Q. So my bf ( of 3 years ) has just said he wants to go to magaluf on a lads holiday. i know everyones going to be like if u have been with him 3 years and u dont trust him ur weird bla bla bla but its not so much i dont trust him its the fact that ...
A. 14 September 2011: Simply down to his willpower and how much he loves you, people can still say no when they're drunk, a lot harder, but it still happens.
Understandably you're worried, but that's no going to deter him, its all down to him on this one I'm afraid! ... (read in full...)
I want dirty sex! Can I get it without leaving my husband?
Q. Why cant he get dirtier in bed? I know I am not as fit as a porn star, but I love sex and the hotter and dirtier the better! I have always known what I wanted, but when we first got together I was too young and shy to articulate it. Ten years later, ...
A. 14 September 2011: Just tell him this could be a deal breaker for you and it means a lot more than he thinks it does.
... (read in full...)
I worry the age difference might be too much.
Q. So a couple months ago I met this guy at the gym and we see eachother there a lot and just say hi and eventually he added me on facebook. About 3 weeks ago, we had a conversation and exchanged numbers. Since then we've talked almost everynight on ...
A. 11 September 2011: Age doesn't matter at all in a relationship unless one of the parties isn't of legal age.
as so_very_confused said, friends until you're legal - Then it's up to you where you go from there!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He gets out of jail soon. Should I leave my abusive boyfriend now or stay and try again with him?
Q. Hi I'm new here and this is my first time using a site like this. I just hope to get the best out of it. Anyways, so, I have a boyfriend who's incarcerated at the present moment and he's very verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I'm in love...
A. 11 September 2011: I read the title only....leave this man immediately - SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU WOULD NOT ABUSE YOU IN ANYWAY.
As I was typing this I glanced up and saw "he's even threaten to kill me many times" - You've got to be joking, this guy sounds like a p... (read in full...)
ONE-ITIS.The unhealthy curse of devotion and attatchment.
Q. One-itis Problem Anyway, your friendly neighborhood Walshie93 is here to talk about one-itis, because it seems to be cropping up a lot hese days, be it with relationships ending, just starting or casual flings. A number of posters ...
A. 11 September 2011: Wow man, that was a fantastic post - really in depth and informative.
I think I can definitely take something away from this as I've been here before.
Great post as ever walshie, keep it up mate!
... (read in full...)
He gets mad when I don't want sex!
Q. Hey guys, i'm 15 and basically i've been with my 16 year old boyfriend for 3 and a half months now, and we started having sex 2 months into our relationship. since then we've had it 37 times. I don't know if its right but I feel completely taken for ...
A. 7 September 2011: Dump this guy, he sounds like a complete d**k, he is treating you awfully.... (read in full...)
UPDATE What can I say to get a conversation going?
Q. Hello again, everyone. I posted a question on here on the 5th July this year. Briefly, I was running into a woman on the journey to work every day and did I think she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen? Yes! The question I asked was, as ...
A. 6 September 2011: That's an awesome story man - chuffed to bits for you!... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Hahaha, thanks so much guys, this has made me feel so much better.
Looking back, I don't know what I ever saw in her, I gave her pretty much everything she could want in a bf and she wasn't interested and she's not using me as a shoulder to cry o... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Haven't really had much of an argument for a while, had an in depth chat with her about it all about a week ago though.... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: It probably came about 2-3 weeks after things broke down (i.e me telling her that I liked her) we had a few arguments and stuff over it.
On saturday night she was speaking to me by bbm on my phone, she said she's going to call me, I told her not ... (read in full...)
Sick of being second best......
Q. How do I deal with being second best? I'm second best when it comes to everything. My partner has a better ex. She was prettier and cooler and they only broke up because she cheated. He would never have left her had she not. I'm also second best...
A. 6 September 2011: Daniel has it spot on, the phrase 'look out for number one' is probably the thing I follow most in life, just tell yourself basically that you're the dog's bo**ocks.
It's what I do when I'm feeling a bit down and it gets me out of the slump qu... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 6 September 2011: Haha, yeah I agree, back then I definitely was a love sick puppy that clinged to her every word and would've done pretty much anything for her.
But I tired after a while and don't really care for her anymore, just want to know what the dealio i... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks angel, hearing stuff like that always makes me feel better.
Yeah, that's why I thought there was something there, she's told me personally that she thinks I'm attractive, also told my sister when she was drunk lol
I think I was bein... (read in full...)
Is my ex contacting me just to check up on me?
Q. Is my ex contacting me purely to check up on me? Why is she doing this? Since we broke up for circumstantial reasons 6 months ago, she has moved on. She moved on very quickly (within a month) and has been in a relationship ever since. I've date...
A. 5 September 2011: I'm in a similar situation to this so this was a great read to me and I'm looking forward to further answers.
Long story short, was FWB with a friend of my sister's, I decided I wanted more and told her that I liked her, she backed way off, we ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks again for those answers,
Angel - I'm not really too fussed about this girl anymore, she was a very hard person to read, I've moved on, not really bothered whether I speak to her again or not...she has a bf (well, pretty much does) now so I... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Yes KC you're completely right, she is kinda seeing some other guy, I doubted her answer at the time and she's pretty much confirmed it. She was a hard person to read and she still confuses me to this day with how she acts around me.
I've moved on... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: Thanks for those answers - not taken personally at all celtic, I'm not going to be to everyones taste!
Cindy, that's a very good point, no good trying to change myself to make someone like me, they have to want me for the very reason that I am who... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: I'm not saying it like I'm the most desireable man to have ever existed, simply looking for womens opinions and views on the subject is all.
Also, I already mentioned the 'not wanting me as a bf' - its not like I can't accept it, this was from mon... (read in full...)
Is it me? Or do I need something? Low testosterone? No pheromones? Would supplements help?
Q. Hi everyone. It's not easy to talk about this but maybe you can help. I'm in my early forties, and all my life I've had almost no luck with women in terms of romance and sex. I had one girlfriend in school, and I've had a few dates over the y...
A. 4 September 2011: For testosterone there are many boosters out there which you could buy from pretty much any bodybuilding website - Going to the gym could help as well, will get the body producing testosterone!
Hope this helps. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to give this new girl a chance because of an ex-FWB....
Q. Well I'm gonna cut a long story short...I kinda fell for a girl I was FWB with (I've posted questions about her before). We've since pretty much stopped speaking, I've tried to remain friends but she doesn't seem interested, so I took the hint and ...
A. 3 September 2011: Thanks for the answer, I'm not saying that there was a chance of getting back with the FWB or anything, just I was really hung up on her, I know she's moved on as she's kinda dating some other dude, I just couldn't seem to get over her. As for th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend once told me I needed a boob job!
Q. Hi, I am 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend just over a year, before we started properly going out we used to see each other he was very affectionate and fun, now I'm constantly worrying crying and being over protective. The reason for ...
A. 3 September 2011: You should dump this guy and move along, if he loves you why would he be putting you down and making you insecure about yourself. He should be making you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world!... (read in full...)
I sincerely love the guy I am dating now but it is more a platonic love and the other one is a true love I guess?
Q. Dear readers, I am such a lost lamb and I don't know whether I have a question or I just need badly to tell my story as I there is none who could hear me out. I would appreciate any advice given as I am absolutely lost. It all started 4 yea...
A. 1 September 2011: Have you talked to your ex about a future recently? You said the last time you spoke it wasn't particularly negative, so how do you know something isn't there for him aswell?
First things first though, I'd split up with your bf, sounds to me that ... (read in full...)
I sincerely love the guy I am dating now but it is more a platonic love and the other one is a true love I guess?
Q. Dear readers, I am such a lost lamb and I don't know whether I have a question or I just need badly to tell my story as I there is none who could hear me out. I would appreciate any advice given as I am absolutely lost. It all started 4 yea...
A. 1 September 2011: If you love your current bf in a platonic way then why are you dating? That's not fair on him as he thinks you're together based on love, whereas by the sound of things, for you its a friendship as you're still hung up on your ex. Sounds like yo... (read in full...)
Two brothers love me. One is bad one is good. I love them both but I am with the bad one
Q. What do you do when two brothers love you, one is the silent best friend from beginning of high school, and the other is the older bad boy brother who spoke up to share his feelings right away. This is really tough because, the bad boy brother ...
A. 31 August 2011: Laughed so hard at marieclaire's answer......brilliant!... (read in full...)
How can I show my boyfriend that his violence toward me is wrong?
Q. Dear Cupids, Please help! My boyfriend seems to think there is nothing wrong (technically) with pushing/shoving me and grabbing things out of my hands if he is angry. He also does this motion where he makes a fist and comes at me as though he will ...
A. 30 August 2011: Only a matter of time before that fist is used - you would never physically hurt someone that you love, get out before things take a turn for the worse.... (read in full...)
My Gf keeps telling me how her one night stand guy was better than me. How do I handle this and not get so upset?
Q. Months ago my girlfriend and I had broken up. Soon after we did she had drunken sex with a man she didn't know. well and we had gotten back together and she had told me the details and I was crushed that she had did things with him that we were pla...
A. 30 August 2011: She's walking all over you dude, tell her to hit the road.
A relationship is supposed to be built on love and respect for each other, she's purposefully putting you down and making you feel like crap.
You do not deserve that.... (read in full...)
I've realized I have feelings for him -- is it too late?
Q. I need some advice about my best guy friend. lets say his name is frank. I have known frank for about 10 years and we have been best friends we always go to each other about advice about everything. We went off to different colleges last year and ...
A. 29 August 2011: It's obvious, you tell him!
You are obviously compatible because you're best friends! IMO when you're the guy in that kind of friendship, it's very hard not to have feelings for the female, for some reason I think it's easier for them to just rem... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this emotionally dead girl who I seem to want more from?
Q. A few weeks ago, I discovered routines and methods of being able to approach girls who would be rated say a 9 out of 10 so to speak and who reject any male that gives them attention. Anyway, I approached one girl etc and got through her usua...
A. 28 August 2011: Jeez, that was pretty deep.
Looks like nothing you can do will change her mind, its up to you from here, either move on or remain friends. You should definitely stop having sex with her because that f**ks everything up and makes it a whole lo... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this emotionally dead girl who I seem to want more from?
Q. A few weeks ago, I discovered routines and methods of being able to approach girls who would be rated say a 9 out of 10 so to speak and who reject any male that gives them attention. Anyway, I approached one girl etc and got through her usua...
A. 27 August 2011: Been there done that mate - had the exact same situation as yourself. A girl that was perfect for me in everyway, we spoke for hours on end, met up most days in a week and pretty soon after started to become intimate. She told me at the start tha... (read in full...)
Is my ex just talking to me for sex?
Q. Dear Cupid. Me and my boyfriend was together for 14 months, its the first time ive fallen in love and i really thought he was the one. We split in october 2010 as he thought things had changed. We speak every so often, but its the conversa...
A. 22 August 2011: You'll find that out when he comes to meet up with you. If it is, tell him to take a hike because you're not going to be his booty call.... (read in full...)
How many of the men actually enjoy going down on a woman?
Q. Why is it that some men prefer not to go down on a woman? Should I interpret this as a sign he doesn't love me or just let it go and enjoy the rest of the "act"? And the other way around: how many of the men actually expect having oral sex performe...
A. 16 August 2011: I agree with quantum, I prefer giving than receiving. Its a lot more of a turn on for me seeing the girl getting off!
... (read in full...)
Does losing your virginity make your more vulnerable to that person?
Q. Does losing your virginity to a boyfriend/girlfriend make one more clingy to them? Specifically to the guys, were you more attached to the girl you lost your virginity to, assuming you were in a relationship? I ask because my current boyfrien...
A. 15 August 2011: I'd say yes to your question. Personally I did - it wasn't with a girlfriend, it was a fwb and I got in way too deeply and she didn't feel the same for me.
I don't think I'd of been attached to her if we didn't have sex, but yeah I think I became... (read in full...)
I want to bed my boyfriend's friend! What should I do?
Q. i love my boyfriend soooo much i have been with him for 6yrs. And he is the sweetest guy u will ever meet he does everything for i mean everything. But his friend is sooooo hotttttt i wanna have sex with him. what do i do?...
A. 8 August 2011: You either break your boyfriends heart or don't have sex with his friend - its pretty simple.
Not sure you love him that much if you want to have sex with his friend though, that doesn't so much like the thing a loving girlfriend would do....... (read in full...)
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