Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
How do I ask if she has a partner without being obvious?
Q. I met an amazing girl a few weeks back. We have been exchanging a few emails. I might ask her out, but I don't know if she has a partner already. How can I ask her without being obvious?...
A. 28 December 2011: Why wouldn't you want to be obvious? It's going to show you're interested by asking that question....don't beat around the bush, just do it. Good luck... (read in full...)
I didn't want to send him a photo of myself so now he's talking to other girls
Q. Ive been speaking to a boy the last few days and we both liked eachother, we was texting and talking on facebook etc. anyway, i didnt want to send a picture of myself to him so he got annoyed with me and we had an arguement, we settled it and then ...
A. 28 December 2011: Good, sounds like that's one asshole you've weeded out. Move on...... (read in full...)
Can we get together or be FWB?
Q. he came to our school and after a month we talked and kinda got together.. Its been three months and through that time he was so busy with two jobs and also said he has to get use to it because its gonna be that way when hes older.he told me he ...
A. 28 December 2011: Listen, some guys can have an incredible trait which allows them to literally not give a flying f**k about the feelings of a woman, of course this isn't true for every guy, but he's already told you that he only wants to be your friend.
This ... (read in full...)
Can we get together or be FWB?
Q. he came to our school and after a month we talked and kinda got together.. Its been three months and through that time he was so busy with two jobs and also said he has to get use to it because its gonna be that way when hes older.he told me he ...
A. 27 December 2011: Take it this is the same guy as the other post?
Do not get involved in a FWB, I've had personal experience in one and can tell you now it will end in heartbreak.... (read in full...)
We have sex a few times a week. He wants to be friends. So why does he want to keep all this secret?
Q. I met this guy who just moved here and we started talking. after one month we hooked up and had sex.i asked him if we're just friends an he replied saying obviously we are more than that...but he doesn't want people to know so I tried my best to hide...
A. 27 December 2011: Do you want to date this guy or not?
If you do and he doesn't then simply tell him to stop flirting with you as it's not fair and sending you all kind of mixed signals.
If you're staying friends, then we he tries to flirt, play it down and cont... (read in full...)
Everytime I tru to end the relationship, he tells me "I don't know what may happen in the future."
Q. My boyfriend of 14 months lives with his girlfriend of 4yrs... Everytime I try to end the relationship he tells me i don't know what may happen in the future. What should i do?...
A. 26 December 2011: End the relationship...
It's not for you to worry about what happens in the future, he won't be part of your life anymore. Don't try to let him guilt trip you out of doing it. If the relationship has run its course then there's nothing more to ... (read in full...)
Too extreme or too sweet?
Q. Well me and my boyfriend were hanging out and i saw one of my BEST BEST friends i haven't seen in like 1year! so i ran up to him and hugged him. my boyfriend instantly got up and walked by me and kinda pulled me back. than he looked at me and said ...
A. 26 December 2011: It shouldn't be that either of you have to delete contact details for anyone of your FRIENDS because of a relationship.
By doing that you're admitting that you have trust issues, just tell him to back off, it's not for him to say who you can and ... (read in full...)
We have sex a few times a week. He wants to be friends. So why does he want to keep all this secret?
Q. I met this guy who just moved here and we started talking. after one month we hooked up and had sex.i asked him if we're just friends an he replied saying obviously we are more than that...but he doesn't want people to know so I tried my best to hide...
A. 26 December 2011: Seems too hard to work out, I think it'd be your best interest to move on.....you don't want to end up being used for sex.... (read in full...)
We have sex a few times a week. He wants to be friends. So why does he want to keep all this secret?
Q. I met this guy who just moved here and we started talking. after one month we hooked up and had sex.i asked him if we're just friends an he replied saying obviously we are more than that...but he doesn't want people to know so I tried my best to hide...
A. 25 December 2011: How does he know that he won't be able to make you happy without giving it a try first?
Do you want to date this guy or not?
I always think it's fishy when a guy doesn't want to be in a relationship but is happy to have sex with a girl, no ... (read in full...)
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
Q. At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
A. 25 December 2011: That's one hell of a journey, glad to hear you've come out on the other side a person that's in a better place.
It's admirable that you're only 14 and been able to cope with that, it makes me feel bad about all the negligible, pointless things t... (read in full...)
I want to wear my bikini, but my Bf gets teary and upset at me doing this. Is he over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend gets all teary and upset when I express interest in wearing a bikini. He hates the idea of someone looking at me but I'm proud of my body and sometimes I just want to show it (most of the time however I like adequate coverage...) Is ...
A. 25 December 2011: Wait, sorry I didn't read this very clearly...
I somehow missed his very start about him becoming teary and upset, didn't read it very closely, doh. No that's not normal at all. Maybe if he became a little bothered by it or jealous of other gu... (read in full...)
I want to wear my bikini, but my Bf gets teary and upset at me doing this. Is he over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend gets all teary and upset when I express interest in wearing a bikini. He hates the idea of someone looking at me but I'm proud of my body and sometimes I just want to show it (most of the time however I like adequate coverage...) Is ...
A. 25 December 2011: He has no say over what you wear, sure it's normal for him to be jealous that other guys would be looking at you, but at the end of the day, you guys are a couple so why does he need to worry?
Just remind him of that fact, but also be firm tha... (read in full...)
Verbally abusive boyfriend keeps saying that I'm dumb and good for nothing
Q. Dear Cupid My bf used to abuse me verbally once in a while before and now he started doing it almost every day. He says its getting difficult to even hold a conversation without getting angry with me, nowadays. He often says i dont know anythi...
A. 25 December 2011: Listen, if I told you that I had a gf that told me how stupid I was every single day and made me feel like shit and told me that I may have psychological issues, what advice would you give to me?
Leave this man immediately, what's to say this abu... (read in full...)
Why do guys say what they think you want to hear?
Q. why do lads whether its your best friend or your boyfriend, always tell you what they think you want to hear, like the phrase "i love you" "ive missed you". Me and my best friend have not spoken for the past five/six month. i work in a bar and he ...
A. 25 December 2011: Cerebrus hits the nail on the head. The majority of the time, a guy will tell you whatever you want to hear because they want to get into your pants.
There of course are bound to be some guys out there who are genuine about what they are saying, ... (read in full...)
We have sex a few times a week. He wants to be friends. So why does he want to keep all this secret?
Q. I met this guy who just moved here and we started talking. after one month we hooked up and had sex.i asked him if we're just friends an he replied saying obviously we are more than that...but he doesn't want people to know so I tried my best to hide...
A. 25 December 2011: You're being used for sex, cut contact and move along, don't play his games.... (read in full...)
I can't make my b/f cum without his assistance
Q. Ok this is really embarrasing for me but I really need help I'm desperate :(. I can't really make my boyfriend come without his assistance ( him thrusting more etc ). When we're in the middle of doing something if I,m doing it I can't finish ...
A. 22 December 2011: Kitties raises a very good point, alcohol can make it take a lot, lot, lot, lot longer.... (read in full...)
FWB said I love you, then took it back?
Q. Today I was talking to my fwb when towards the end of the phone call he said "I love you". I immediately replied with "what" since it was such a shock and he repeated it. I said "no you don't" and said bye and hung up. A few minutes later he...
A. 22 December 2011: I have to agree with eddie, Don't think I've ever used the words 'I love you' to end a phone call.
I've been in a fwb myself where I developed feelings so I have some experience here and would say that he is starting to like you.
Have a conver... (read in full...)
I can't make my b/f cum without his assistance
Q. Ok this is really embarrasing for me but I really need help I'm desperate :(. I can't really make my boyfriend come without his assistance ( him thrusting more etc ). When we're in the middle of doing something if I,m doing it I can't finish ...
A. 22 December 2011: Nothing you can do can make him cum faster, it just happens when it happens. I've had this problem before where it took me ages to cum as well. Just ask him what feels best for him and that should help out.... (read in full...)
Is it important to have things in common when you date?
Q. Everyone I've dated, and people that have shown interest in me have never shared anything in common with me. Personality, hobbies, likes, interests etc... I was seeing someone for a little over a month and that ended because we had little i...
A. 22 December 2011: Of course it is, what would you talk about if you didn't?
Wouldn't be much of a relationship would it?... (read in full...)
My b/f says that since I have been with others, he needs to have that experience too
Q. my bf and i have been together for 3 yrs now. I was with other men before we got together but i was his first. i love him very much and he says he feels the same but he wants to be with other women. he says that since i have been with other men he ...
A. 19 December 2011: Then you say: 'Fine, you're dumped, experience all the women you want' - sounds like he's trying to justify cheating.... (read in full...)
Would he cheat if he had a chance to?
Q. me and my boyfriend are having some problems at the moment. he has been messahing other girls asking for nacked pics and chatting other girls up he says it werent him but i dont thinl i believe him. we have a lil girl together and thought we were ...
A. 19 December 2011: Yes, of course he would. He's asking for naked pictures of other people, if he had a naked girl infront of him do you think he'd say no? Especially when you know he's been doing this stuff already.
You need to have a serious talk with him, lay... (read in full...)
Why do all the men I meet mess me around?
Q. Hi eveyone this is my problem I can never meet a man who won't mess me about! eveyone I have dated have cheated on me or used me for money even though I'm skint. my last relationship was we met he wanted sex nothing more that was it, kept making ...
A. 13 December 2011: Make yourself harder to win over, play hard to get and don't be so available because some men will take this as you being easy and exploit that fact.
Make them wait for sex, make them work for it, months if needs be and if they stick it out, the... (read in full...)
Too young for sex but cant stop my urges, help!
Q. I am a 13 year old boy and normally have the urge to have sex, but i dont want to as you can see my age, any advice??...
A. 13 December 2011: Wank yourself silly.
Only thing I can think of haha
Hope it helps.... (read in full...)
I am cheating, but I want to stay with my boyfriend. Is that reasonable?
Q. a few years back i had this male best friend, (lets call him man A) we were unbelievably close and i started to get some feelings for him. it never really went anywhere until we had a drunken one night stand. time passed and i lost contact with ...
A. 12 December 2011: Not reasonable at all. If you're going to do it again, then break up with your boyfriend because its extemely cruel on him.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks all the time but I am scared to talk to him about it. What should I do?
Q. Every single day I text my boyfriend all that comes out of his mouth.. "I am high." Or... "I am drunk." And I hate it.. I want to tell him, "Don't talk to me until your sober, and if you don't stop I won't see you anymore." But I don't want to say ...
A. 8 December 2011: No, this isn't you being a jerk, this is him being a d**k. Tell him straight up that you're not dating an alcoholic, drug abuser. Tell him to kick both habits if they're really bothering you or you walk. Good luck... (read in full...)
He's so clingy that it's getting irritating
Q. There's a guy that I've met who is really nice and I enjoy spending my time with. We have the same interests and he's great to be around. BUT I'm starting to feel that he's very clingy. If we are alone he kisses me which I don't mind but he never ...
A. 8 December 2011: You tell him exactly what you've just told us. Good luck... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive. Help, what do I do? Because I'm falling hard for my boyfriend's brother.
Q. Ok. I am in a situation that I really badly need help with. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years now off and on. The first year was terrible. I always caught him talking to his ex girlfriend. He was telling her he loved her and that...
A. 30 November 2011: Leave this guy immediately, report him to the police for abusing you and forget about his bro.
Get as far from this situation as you can!!... (read in full...)
Has anyone tried HCG diet drops?
Q. I am wanting to try the HCG diet drops. I was wondering if anyone has tried them before? did they work? where is the best place to get them? I want to get as much information as I can because it seems to be really good....
A. 29 November 2011: If diet pills truly work and made you drop pounds, don't you think most people in the world would be taking them? And the creator be a multi billionaire?
I'd rather stick to eating right and excercising that relying on a pill that's more than lik... (read in full...)
I want to go to the gym but there are too many guys and I'm afraid they will stare at me
Q. dear cupid, i have really been wanting to go to the gym so many times its not far from where i stay and though there are not so many equipments a few of the ones i need are there but my only problem is that im shy the gym is mostly attended...
A. 27 November 2011: I used to be worried about going and wondering what all the huge guys in there would be thinking of a puny kid like me going in and you know what? It was absolutely stupid of me to do so...nothhings ever happened or been said and I'm not in the best ... (read in full...)
Can my ex take me to court and get custody of our son?
Q. I need some advice. When I was four months pregnant I left my son's biological father because he forced himself on me sexually and used to hit me. After we split I tried to be civil with him for our son's sake. Well sometime later we got into a big ...
A. 25 November 2011: Yes, he could definately take you to court, but as dmartin said, the only way he will gain custody is if you're proved to be a poor parent and this does not seem the case at all.
You should be fine and have nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
Texting time... why does he take forever to reply!
Q. I met this guy about 2 weeks ago, and we hit it off right away. Since then, he's text me without fail everyday, which is good as usually guys trail off after a few days! The only thing which confuses me, is how long he takes to reply to each tex...
A. 25 November 2011: I'd start worrying when the texts stop. He may be really bust, who knows? At least he's replying which shows a level of interest.... (read in full...)
His text left me confused! What do you think he meant by this?
Q. hi - it is official i hate texting !!! This guy and i went out a couple of times and we slept together. Always initiated by him. I texted him asking to go out for drinks and he replied something VERY confusing: "i have to go out with some colleg...
A. 25 November 2011: Why are you annoyed at that? Sounds like he's saying 'I'd like to meet you if this doesn't happen and\or is crap'
Sounds like drinks with work colleagues and he doesn't want to look rude or boring by not going, but would still like toi see you.... (read in full...)
How can this happen?
Q. I was dating the girl of my dreams for almost 4yrs and the wasn't a fairy tail ending as we had issues(losing a child) and then she got raped and that was the turning point......She started falling in love with her rapist and she had an affair with ...
A. 22 November 2011: Dude, forget about HER, worry more about the HIV!! Get to a specialist pronto!!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
What's an appropriate level of intimacy to have with male friends when you're in a relationship?
Q. I met my wonderful boyfriend during my gap year (2010) but now we're LDR. I love him to bits and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but since starting college, I've been finding it tough not to be at least a teeny bit flattered by the sudden ...
A. 22 November 2011: Chi girl again makes good points and I mostly agree
' If ANY of these guys are willing to jump in the sack with you, or kiss you, then they aren't a FRIEND of yours. Ok? That's a really good test, so you can ask yourself. If they are true friends ... (read in full...)
I know he's not interested in me and I just need to put him out of my head but I'm finding it difficult....
Q. I would really appreciate some advice how to put someone out of my mind. Last month I was spending time up in my home town and was seduced by a local guy who is a couple of years younger than me. I was reluctant at first but spending a bit m...
A. 22 November 2011: Well I think you're going the right way about it by trying to move on and find somebody else. Just pre occupy yourself with other things, have fun with your friends and family. Take up a new hobby or knuckle down at work (no matter how boring, chase ... (read in full...)
My wife wont have anal sex, should I go to a prostitute or will I regret it?
Q. Hello friends, i know i have been several times here on DCupid issues about that issue, but still i want it to get this help from you! Please! Here it comes: i wish i could get intercourse in the anus in my wife but she doesn't want it anymore, we ...
A. 11 November 2011: Chi girl is bang on the money.
She may not like it because it may HURT her! Think about it from her perspective and stop being so damn selfish.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is setting up secret online relationships. HELP!
Q. My boyfriend was on the Internet last night and I found out he was index websites and he had set up a profile saying he wanted to meet girls for 1 on 1 sex or secret relationship he says he was only messing but not sure I'd should believe him please ...
A. 9 November 2011: No, this isn't messing around, he was clearly intending to cheat.... (read in full...)
Is this guy playing hard to get or is he just not interested?
Q. I met this guy last week when we were out, we got on well and he told me he thought i was amazing. He later text me to see if i got home ok. I didnt text back until 3 days later :( just because i get shy sometimes he did text back straight after ...
A. 9 November 2011: Exactly what caring guy said. If you're not getting at least same day responses I'd take it that the girl isn't interested.
If you like him, try and organise something.... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 9 November 2011: Why would that be stupid? If you both want to then go for it. Screw the age gap, you're put on earth to live life once, do whatever the heck you want thanks going to make you happy.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Ex says I should have sex with him because I owe him my virginity since he waited for me
Q. Me and my now ex-boyfriend just broke up because of me not being in love with him anymore. Although we're broken up, he's telling me to have sex with him so we can both loose our virginities and then he'll move on. He says if we do have sex, he'll ...
A. 7 November 2011: Did you honestly think you'd come here and some people would anshwer: 'well he did wait for you, so you better go have sex with him!'
No, this is silly, you've already told us you don't like him anymore so why would you have sex?
Sounds to me ... (read in full...)
Is this guy genuine?
Q. Hi there i'm in a bit of a dilema..i think. I'm a 19 year old female who started seeing a 24 year old male in April. We met at a nightclub i was outside in the smoking area with a friend when he walked past also with a friend. He stared at me as he...
A. 7 November 2011: Sounds extremely weird why he's suffering such serious injuries all of the time. Also how nervous he acted on the first meeting with the twitching eye.
Is there anything that suggests he may be involved with drugs? Sounds like he's been beaten o... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
