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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Need help! Really need to get the liar back for what he did.
Q. So basically it's been a long night, my boyfriend well now ex has decided to tell me that he cheated on me, obviously it has really hurt, but I need a way to get him back. I know I shouldn't sink down to his level but I'm going to do it anyway, he ...
A. 15 May 2012: The best thing you can do in this situation is move on without giving it two thoughts, that what will hurt him the most, showing him that you DON'T NEED HIM in your life and you can function fine without him.
By 'evening the score' you're just as ... (read in full...)
Can a man become friends with a woman while already being in a relationship?
Q. This is probably a very common question but i'd like to get some answers from both girls and guys perspective. I've been with my bf for 8 months. He's very outgoing, chatty and charming and he loves to meet new people. He happens to be attractive as ...
A. 15 May 2012: I'd say this one's pretty subjective tbh.
I have about 3-4 female friends who I'd consider to be VERY close with, 3 of them have boyfriends but if the opportunity arose, it would be very hard to turn do sex with them because of it, but someone ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: This guy is actively seeking someone to cheat with, dump him immediately.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's going to hurt me and then leave me!
Q. hey this may sound ridiculous but i need a second opinion or something.. i didn't have a bad childhood i guess, but it wasn't great either. for the majority of it my dad beat my little brother senseless, but hardly ever touched me. he scared me...
A. 15 May 2012: Well you need to tell him, immediately, or else it could be your own insecurities than end the relationship and it not be on his part at all.
Also, as Daniel said, I think it'd be beneficial for you to attend counselling to try and conquer ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a sexually charged movie with a male friend?
Q. This might seem like a stupid problem, but i'd like some advice. A guy i know ( he's not really a friend, more like an aquaintance ) wants to go to the cinema with me tomorrow, to watch the new American Pie film. The thing is, there are lots of ...
A. 15 May 2012: If your boyfriend wouldn't be happy, then why are you going with him in the first place?
It's pretty evident that this guy likes you and from his perspective it's going to look like a date. Does he know you have a bf??
IMO, it'd be inapprop... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is spending his inheritance money and hasn't even bought me a bouquet of flowers!
Q. Ok so my bf and I have dated 2years in which was long distance. Recently he moved in with me. Hes 18 I'm 17. He's originally from were I live. When he was 1 his mom left his dad and moved 4 hours away. So his dad lives here. He's been living with me ...
A. 15 May 2012: I'm sorry but what makes you think you're entitled to some of HIS money?
It's his inheritence to spend how he wants, so it's not unreasonable that he hasn't bought you anything. But if you're not happy with that then the choice is with you to s... (read in full...)
I'm a 20 year old virgin...is that a turn off?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm in college. I've never had sex because I've never had a boyfriend and never wanted to sleep with random guys. No one ever believes me when I tell them I've never had sex mainly because I go out/party/drink a lot and ...
A. 14 May 2012: Nope, not at all.
In this day and age you've also done well to stand by your morals of waiting until you're in a stable relationship, so well done and good for you!... (read in full...)
I managed to convince a guy I fancy that I'm easy but now I need the skills to back it up
Q. I moved about 9 months ago and there's this guy "Sam" back home. My friend and I tricked him into thinking I'm a slut and he likes me better now. I told him when I get home I'd make out with him and give him a hand job. The thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA ...
A. 14 May 2012: This post actually almost had me in tears with laughter! I'm sorry but why the hell would you 'trick' somebody into thinking you're a slut?
No wonder this guy likes you! He's getting the easiest handjobs of his life, oh and I very much doubt it... (read in full...)
She's amazing and is worth fighting for! Any advice?
Q. Ok my ex girlfriend just broke up with me cause up mis understanding. She looked on my phone and seen I deleted texts and also thought I deleted pics of us. I did delete text but not to hide anything from her. I never deleted any pics of us. She ...
A. 13 May 2012: I know man, I can imagine. But trust me, just give her the space she's asked for.... (read in full...)
Erection when hugging/kissing my girlfriend
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now, and the last couple times we've taken the time to say goodbye on her front porch before I leave her house we've spend a lot of time hugging and kissing goodbye and even just talking ...
A. 13 May 2012: Yeah, it's just human nature, can't really do anything about it.... (read in full...)
She's amazing and is worth fighting for! Any advice?
Q. Ok my ex girlfriend just broke up with me cause up mis understanding. She looked on my phone and seen I deleted texts and also thought I deleted pics of us. I did delete text but not to hide anything from her. I never deleted any pics of us. She ...
A. 13 May 2012: She said she needs time, so give it to her.
DO NOT smother her right now. I know the ONLY thing you want to do is talk to her, but she wants to be left alone and has told you that, so respect her wishes and do not contact her.
If she wants ... (read in full...)
I worry that she compares me with her ex. Will she have a memory of her 'best sex' with her ex?
Q. I have a great girlfriend and we get along really well. Everything is going along perfectly and we really see a future together. Currently we are long distance as we are seperated for the summer, and my mind is giving me some troubles. I was a v...
A. 13 May 2012: If you know what she likes and doesn't like, how are you not giving her the best sex of her life?
She's given you the information to guide you to making it feel the best it possibly can for her, so if you're not doing it right even now, then the... (read in full...)
Is it possible that someone like my ex can change?
Q. Hey, everyone :) This may be a bit long so please bear with me. I'v just come out of a three year relationship. We lived together the majority of those three years. Resons why we broke up: -he was extremely paranoid and jealous- constan...
A. 11 May 2012: Sounds like he's good at manipulating people, you'd be very silly to give him a second chance, when someone loves you truly, they won't treat you like this.
... (read in full...)
What kind of porn do straight girls watch?
Q. What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...
A. 10 May 2012: Whatever they feel like...... (read in full...)
I'm trying so hard to like her, and get to know her so I can develop feelings.
Q. I met this girl who genuinely likes me, made the first move, and such... I'm trying so hard to like her, and get to know her so I can develop feelings. I believe relationships shouldn't be unrequited. I guess some things really drag me dow...
A. 10 May 2012: Doesn't sound like there's any chemistry. You can't force yourself to like someone, sounds like it'd be better for you to leave this one alone, when you genuinely like someone, you won't have to put effort in for it to happen.... (read in full...)
I haven't asked out a girl in 2 years for fear of being rejected
Q. For the past two years I have failed to ask a single girl out and need to know how to overcome my fear. I really want to be able to approach attractive women that I don't know, but I feel terrified and worried about what to say. I'm afraid tha...
A. 9 May 2012: No other way to get over it than just risk it and ask. I used to be the exact same as you, but if I like someone, I'll just ask, I've been rejected before, wasn't the end of the world, you just carry on life as normal...
'You miss 100% of the shot... (read in full...)
No sex drive since the baby arrived -- should I tell him to get his needs met elsewhere?
Q. Ok so I had a little baby girl about 9 months ago. And since then Ive had about zero sex drive. I get horny occasionally but im just not in the mood. This has put a serious strain on my relationship with my fiance. I know he has liked our mutual ...
A. 7 May 2012: One of the worst suggestions I've heard for some time! Even if he did find someone just to have 'sex' with, intimacy changes things and they'd more than likely develop feelings.
Do as the other aunts have said and go to the doctors regardin... (read in full...)
B/f just lost his job. How can I help him through this tough time without really getting on his nerves?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend of over 9 years just lost his job last week. He just told me on Thursday. I am in shock since that day and I can't believe it. He is 52 and it is not easy to find a new job in the current economy ...
A. 29 April 2012: Yeah, just give him time, leave him to it and when he's ready, he will contact you. If you smother him, he will just become annoyed. Just wait this one out, it might be hard, but that's what you need to do.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I'm engaged. But should I act on my powerful crush I have with my co-worker?
Q. I have been working with this married woman for about two years. I'm engaged. There was an instant attraction. She is this sexy hipster with a really cute face and a hot body. We started texting and the texts became heated. We decided to pull bac...
A. 29 April 2012: How can you genuinely be asking this question? You're getting married for god sakes...... (read in full...)
Why do girls complain about guy's cheating, yet they do far worse to the good guys who don't
Q. I don't quite understand what is going on. I try, so very hard to maintain a relationship. I always go into it with all the hope and care I can muster. Now I'm 26 years old, and I'm single. I've been beaten, broken, crushed, decimated, maimed, and ...
A. 29 April 2012: I agree with you on that one, I think it's a massive double standard that 'All guys are cheating d**kheads' when I know plenty of girls who are A LOT worse than my male friends.
Where are you finding these girls? Where have you first met them?
... (read in full...)
Leaving my best friend and my gamer life behind.....
Q. Ok here's the thing. I know this isn't your typical relationship question that you guys get but it's a serious one to me. I'm what most people would consider a 'Hardcore Gamer'. I use to be the guy playing video games for 20 hours a day. Video games ...
A. 29 April 2012: Dude, this is something you've gotta do for yourself. I'm 20 years old, I used to be the exact same, I'd play call of duty from when I got home from school until I went to bed and all day on weekends and then when I turned 18 and was a legal age to ... (read in full...)
Boy swapping gone wrong?
Q. Ok, last night my best friend and our boyfriends were hanging out at my moms place. She and her boyfriend are out of town for the week. Anyway, we were partying pretty hard, having a lot of fun. We started playing truth or dare, long story short we ...
A. 29 April 2012: Are you for real? I can not wrap my head around cheaters who say 'ooohhh I love my partner sooo much' - How could you possibly, when you decide to have sex with somebody else? MORE THAN ONCE??
He went 'mad' at you for cheating, so why do you thin... (read in full...)
Should I keep doing No Contact and wait for him to contact me first?
Q. My boyfriend (or ex) and I have been together on/off for over 2 years. We are both in our mid 20s. Our relationship is serious that we actually talked about our future togehter like getting married etc.. Everything was okay until a few months ago...
A. 27 April 2012: Yes, otherwise you will just annoy him. He said he needed time and by constantly texting and ringing him, you're not giving him that and you're kinda smothering him at the worst possible time.
Be patient, it might be hard, but that's what he's ask... (read in full...)
Am I normal? I don't look like other women!
Q. hi there, i dont men to be crude or nasty but i have some questions the average human growth and development book wont answer. i been around various women while we change in the locker and i see them naked. i notice that 99% have a vagina that hides ...
A. 27 April 2012: If you let a guy have access to your vagina, I'm 99.99999999999999999% he couldn't give a crap what it looks like.... (read in full...)
I think she likes me and I want to have sex with her, how do I ask her?
Q. Hi I have a problem. There is this girl I know and I have wanted to have sex with her for years but i have always been too afraid to ask. I have heard rumors that she likes me and that she has spoken to friends about having sex with me. I am a ...
A. 25 April 2012: Dude,
There's probably 1/1,000,000 girls that will accept a proposal of sex by just walking up to them and asking. You need to get to know each other, take her out on dates and make her feel special. You can't just go up to people asking for sex,... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend acknowledge our relationship on his Facebook wall?
Q. Ok I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now I decided to change relationship status on facebook and tagged him to say its him I'm dating but even though he changed to say his in a relationship he has ignored my request.he also has deleted the ...
A. 25 April 2012: Because facebook is notorious for ruining relationships. By stating he's in a relationship, but not who with, people still know that he's off limits. Some people don't like to plaster that kind of information all over fbook, but he is acknowledging ... (read in full...)
Am I having an affair?
Q. Am I having an affair? I am a married women, I have been with my husband for the past 15 years. We are best friends, we do everything together and enjoy each other's company very much. I met a men 3 years ago, we don't work together but do ...
A. 25 April 2012: I wouldn't say that's an affair if you're not sexually attracted to him and you're not intending to take it past a friendship.
There's a possibility that he might have a crush on you and feel that you're leading him on, but you're just trying t... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to tell him I don't trust him on his holiday?
Q. I don't trust my boyfriend to go on a lads holiday with his 2 mates (one who is single and the other who is taken but has the mind of a single boy) because my boyfriend lied to me and cheated on me 2 years ago (hasn't done anything since). Am I ...
A. 25 April 2012: Of course you're allowed to tell him, but there's a very high chance it'll cause an argument.
It's no wonder you're going to be a little wary as he's been unfaithful in the past and at least you'll be getting your concerns out in the open to him. ... (read in full...)
I want to be FWB but he's pulling away!
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for a few months and after I left my most recent bf he wanted to hang out. I was hurt and upset and we had sex. After the first time he was super sweet and text me constantly. We went out for his brithday and had ...
A. 25 April 2012: Do you genuinely want to stay FWB or do you want a relationship with this guy?
Because I'll say right now if it's the latter, you're 99.9% likely to get hurt. You see, most guys have an incredible ability to not give a f**k and they see a FWB as t... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with my first love again and I want to make it official with her!
Q. Wow, it's been over a year since I last visited this site but I definitely need you guys to help me out here. I'll probably be waffling so I apologise. If anybody remembers my last question 13 months ago roughly, I had a horrible post break up ex...
A. 25 April 2012: That was a long [pst for such a simple answer mate, if you both have feelings for each other and you want to make it official and you both genuinely think that it'll work out this time, then just ask her out...
Good luck... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his body language toward me!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for several months now and originally was just some casual fun however I have now started falling for him. I am sure he is seeing other girls aswell as me though I see him really often, at least once a week since we have ...
A. 25 April 2012: Well a time will come where you have to tell him as your feelings will just grow and grow if you continue to meet and have sex with him.
The sooner you tell him how you feel, the sooner you know how he feels about you and whether it's time to ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his body language toward me!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for several months now and originally was just some casual fun however I have now started falling for him. I am sure he is seeing other girls aswell as me though I see him really often, at least once a week since we have ...
A. 25 April 2012: Well a time will come where you have to tell him as your feelings will just grow and grow if you continue to meet and have sex with him.
T... (read in full...)
Right girl at the wrong time?
Q. What does is mean when a guy tells you that you were the right girl at the wrong time? When's the right time? ...
A. 17 April 2012: Sounds like right now he's telling you he wants to be single, but when he's looking to settle down, you'd be perfect for it.... (read in full...)
Can someone please translate what this message from my ex means?
Q. So my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years dumped me 2 months ago when I was out of town. He didn't give me a reason other than "our relationship ran its course". It hurt so much because (1) it was completely out of the blue (2) he didn't give me a strong ...
A. 16 April 2012: Pretty simple, he's seeing how you're getting on with the break up. You were an item, he probably still cares for you even if it's only a small amount and wants to see that you're doing okay. Doesn't seem like there's any malice behind it due to the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date a guy older than you?
Q. Is it "wrong" for you to be with a guy that's older than you?? Like five years? I just wanted to know your guys input. So if youre wondering yea im dating an older guy. We both love each other alot and its not just about sex. We havent even had ...
A. 16 April 2012: I'm not sure of the legal age 100% in the USA, but I think it's 18? In that respect, yes it is wrong.... (read in full...)
I usually have high standards, so why am I into this average looking girl?
Q. Usually I have very high standards (it takes a fair amount of beauty to get a 8-10 mental rating from me), but I have recently met this girl who I would have never looked twice at in the street and I don't know why I am so taken with her...?...
A. 16 April 2012: Personality Looks... (read in full...)
Why do guys go to strip clubs when they have a hot chick at home?
Q. My boyfriend went to a stag party and ended the night at a strip club. He said he didn't get a lap dance but bought the stag one. Now a week later, I have been trying to put it aside but its just at the back of my head whenever I look at him or w...
A. 15 April 2012: It's pretty common for stag dos, he's also told you he won't go again so what exactly is the problem here?... (read in full...)
Guys, are women with big boobs more 'valuable' than the rest of us?
Q. I was talking to my BF and he said that he was more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect and spoil her than a woman with smaller boobs. Of course I have a small B cup, and I asked him why he was with me. He said that I ...
A. 14 April 2012: All I can say is what a prick your bf is, kick him to the curb!! How dare he say something so disrespectful to you, he sounds like an idiot.... (read in full...)
Do I confront my wife about her cheating or just file for a divorce?
Q. i have discovered that my wife of six years is having an online affair,as if thats not bad enough the third party involved mentions in his emails about my children being as his own children and says they will all be together as a new family soon,i ...
A. 12 April 2012: Whatever is easiest and you will feel happiest with. If you don't feel there's anything to work on or nothing will change, IMO it'd just be better to get the divorce.
Sorry to hear and good luck.... (read in full...)
I know my mom is cheating with my band director. How do I stop it so my dad doesn't find out?
Q. My mom has been married to my dad for 19 years. A year ago I began to see her texting my Band Director/teacher just about everytime I saw her on he phone. I confronted her about it and they said they were ashamed of me thinking that and thy would ...
A. 12 April 2012: By stating if she's not going to own up, then you're going to tell him yourself.
Like you said, poor dad. Surely you just want this to end immediately? So it's for sure that there's a problem in the marriage, or else this wouldn't be happenin... (read in full...)
Can you have a 'mid-life crisis' at 19?
Q. Is my friend going though a breakdown, or some sort of life crisis judging by her behaviour. She's only 19, turning 20 in four months but she's been acting really different! We already have active social lives, but now when she's out, she's more ...
A. 10 April 2012: I'd say I feel like this myself A LOT of the time at the moment. I can get down over things pretty easily and I see if that you're never going to get your younger years back, so I am trying to make the most out of everything and living life to the ... (read in full...)
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