A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went on a first date last week, with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to go well. Now it's almost the weekend again, but he hasnt asked me out. What should I do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 January 2012):
 Yes, but... you met him on line- on a dating site perhaps ? He is probably chatting with various other girls, and going on dates with them too, and taking his time in shopping around. There's nothing to be scandalized, that's how this game works.
As for what he said... trust what people DO,not what they say. Talk is cheap.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe also flirted with me: you need someone just Like me, older and knows what he wants.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but if he isn't interested than so be it. I'm not interested in chasing a guy. Even though guys say they like a women who asks them out. They always lose attraction if you do.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (15 January 2012):
Honey, don't overthink it , and don't take it as a personal insult.
A date is a date is a date..... not a life altering event or a once in a lifetime chance.
It can be very well that he had fun, and found you nice personable and attractive, and the date went well from this point of view, but he did not feel such a strong connection and attraction to turn it into something more recurring and permanent.
Generally, in a first date there are not, or there should not be , heavy emotions involved. It's like checking out a new bar or restaurant, you may have a perfectly enjoyable drinking or dining experience, and still not be motivated to go back there the following week. Maybe you want to check out other places, or just stay home for a while , it does not mean that you disliked the venue where you have been.
If you complain he was not totally smitten, well, I guess he was not, had he been so, I agree he would have called.
If you can do with less than smitten, and try to work your way to that :) , I guess there's nothing wrong if you call him first to ask for a second date.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe also said that he feels very comfortable with me. He said he wasn't nervous at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe also said that he feels very comfortable with me. He said he wasn't nervous at all.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 A peck on the cheek is a friendly gesture. Leaning towards you isn't enough body language to go on. I look for his hands touching mine, hand on back escorting me forward, and any intimate touching that's PG rated.
That should tell you something then.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just don't get it. When we parted he kissed me on the cheek. During the date his body language was positive. He kept leaning towards me a lot. I thought a couple of times he was even going to kiss me. I'm all for equality, but I don't like asking out guys. When i've done this in the past it never worked out once.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 January 2012):
If you haven't heard a word from him since your first date, then he's not interested in a second one. Sorry my dear.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's the one that asked me out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI already said that I had a great time etc. He hasn't said anything
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 January 2012):
Did you ask him out for the first or was it vice versa? If it was you, then you're expected to do the legwork.
How did the first date go? Was there a kiss or any natural body contact (awkward fumbling doesn't count)?
Call me old fashioned, but I think he should do the phoning and courting when it comes to dates. If it's been past a week and you haven't heard from him at all, then I'd say he's not interested. In that case, you don't want to call/text asking him for date #2 only to get rejected. Ouch. Just my opinion.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 January 2012):
 'Hey, I had fun on our date, how about we do it again sometime?'
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 January 2012):
You could try asking him. He might be seeing whether you're interested, so it's worth a shot.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1 +, writes (12 January 2012):
 Call him and ask him out. He might say yes, he might say no, but at least you know either way. I know it's easier said than done, but I have asked a guy because I really liked him, and it was the best thing I have ever done. Give it a go and good luck.
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