A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I ve been talking to a guy on the phone and through text for over a month. We decided to meet soon and he often mentions he cant wait to hug and kiss me. I asked him exactly what hes looking for and he said for u to be good friends that hang out and nothing too serious yet......he says its important to be friends before getting into any relationship.....i agree but told him i ll kiss him but nothing else sexual unless were in a relationship. i know hes been divorced for a few yrs and wants to take it slow but does it sound like hes only in it for friends with benefits?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): First be careful, you need to play it safe when meeting people online in person. Make sure you have his full name, address and telephone and give that information to someoneas well as when you're meeting him, meet in a public place with people around, don't get in a car with him, dont' drink, drive yourself there.
Second, don't kiss him- friends don't kiss except on the cheek. My gut reaction is he is looking for more than a friendship if he says he wants to hug and kiss you. Take your time and see what he is all about. If he wants a casual relationship, find that out and cut things off quickly since that is not what you want. Then you won't have wasted too much time and energy.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 EVERY GUY is "in it for the sex." The only issue is if YOU are "in it" for the same (or similar) reasons...
Once you and he have reconciled that, you can either spend time together or decide to go your separate ways...
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 See how he acts, ignore what he tells you.
If he is only after you for sex and he doesn't get it for some time, his interest will wane and he will disappear off the radar.
If he's genuine, he will be in it for the long run and you'll be able to tell that you likes you for who you are, rather than because he's getting easy sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): Please go careful meeting up, just let someone know where you are to be safe he does sound like an ok guy but until you meet someone you never know. As long as you stick to your principles and don't let things go too far until you know him well then you should be able to determine how truthful he's being, if he just wants sex and doesn't get it early on then he may stop trying but if he's genuinely interested he will wait and want to meet up again regardless of what will happen. Good luck and hope you have a lovely time x
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A
female
reader, Happy_Heart5 +, writes (20 January 2012):
As long as you've had no texts that are too sexual you have nothing to be worried about. That would be an immediate red flag. For example if he was asking for explicit photos or sending 'sex texts' etc; he isn't though, which shows a respectful sign. If someone likes you as a person they will be respectful & respect your wishes.
He sounds fair, Just make sure he's not only telling you what you want to hear. You will be able to make better judgement of him when you meet up with him.
All the best
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2012):
 No, it doesn't sound like he is looking for FWB.
But once you meet up I guess you will have to figure out if his words matches his actions.
Taking it slow is never a bad idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): Good friends, hang out, nothing serious. I wouldn't even hug or kiss him. No point in giving him a darned thing until he can balls up and say if he wants a dating relationship or long term.You are young and have a lot going for you- why settle for anything less than you deserve.So no, he's playing with words. Friends first means no phsycial contact, intimacy. And there should be no sexting either. Friends dont' do that.
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