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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Can you have a 'mid-life crisis' at 19?
Q. Is my friend going though a breakdown, or some sort of life crisis judging by her behaviour. She's only 19, turning 20 in four months but she's been acting really different! We already have active social lives, but now when she's out, she's more ...
A. 10 April 2012: I'd say I feel like this myself A LOT of the time at the moment. I can get down over things pretty easily and I see if that you're never going to get your younger years back, so I am trying to make the most out of everything and living life to the ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the guy I'm dating that I did a background check on him?
Q. So, I have been seeing this guy (43 years old) for 2 weeks now, and decided that things have been getting more serious and I should do a background check on him. I do that to anyone I start dating because I have children I need to think about. Don't ...
A. 7 April 2012: No, you're right. I don't have any kids, I'm 20 years old.
Fair enough, yeah I totally understand you wanting to protect yourself and family. I'm not saying what you are doing is wrong, in fact it's an incredibly smart idea and kudos to you for ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the guy I'm dating that I did a background check on him?
Q. So, I have been seeing this guy (43 years old) for 2 weeks now, and decided that things have been getting more serious and I should do a background check on him. I do that to anyone I start dating because I have children I need to think about. Don't ...
A. 6 April 2012: All I know if I found out a girl had been 'background checks' on me, I'd be creeped out as hell. So no, I definately wouldn't tell him if I was in your situation.
And as everyone else has said, 2 weeks is no where near serious, heck even a couple... (read in full...)
Should I wait for a text back? Am I being paranoid?
Q. So I've been talking to this guy for a while now and we went on one date and three weeks later we hung out. I know he works a lot. He works 12 hour shifts at his one job at night and 12 hours at his volunteer job a night or two during the week. ...
A. 6 April 2012: I fell a little into this situation myself, hit it off well with a girl and asked her out, but she declined citing 'busy with work and college' as a reason. I just took it as a rejection, but one of my friends told me to hang in there.
I texted h... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity this way?
Q. I went out with this guy 3 years ago, the relationship ended pretty badly, but we perservered and stayed friends over the years, despite him going out with my best friend and the rest of my friends pretty much hating him. I'm don't have any real fee...
A. 6 April 2012: No!
Wait for someone special or you'll regret it.... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in a faux relationship! She broke up with me but still expects me to fund her!
Q. Hello people I wonder if you can help me I am in a big big dilemna in my life at the moment, 8 months ago while I was travelling around in north america, I hooked up with my 'girlfriend' who i stayed with for 3 1/2 months to cut a long story ...
A. 30 March 2012: Run for the hills, she hasn't won anything if you go home. If anything, you're winning back freedom.... (read in full...)
Met an aspiring actress, got on so well with her but found out she plans to sleep her way to the top!
Q. Right so last week met this girl a stunner at a local pub. we got on right away and i started seeing her. everything was going just fine until we started off talking about careers and she revealed that her plan is to sleep her way into roles! I was ...
A. 26 March 2012: Hahaha what the hell? If she doesn't have talent she wouldn't get cast anyways, what a moron.
As everyone else has said I can't imagine the likes of top actors and actresses earning their roles by sleeping around. Run, run as fast as you can from... (read in full...)
Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 26 March 2012: I think this should go without saying...... (read in full...)
I've got a crush on an actor! Please help?
Q. Firstly, please take this question seriously, because it is really bothering me. I just don't want people to think I'm some whiney child or something. Basically, I have really strong feelings for this nineteen year old actor. He is fairly famous a...
A. 26 March 2012: I can relate to you because this has happened to me before on two occasions and it feels weird as hell. Makes me feel pretty creepy looking back on it hahahaha
The first time was after watching the olympic games and it was over the gymnast ... (read in full...)
How do I get his number?
Q. Heyya :) There is this boy in the year above me in school. We have recently started texting. He texts me everyday and he always starts the conversation with me. We also talk whenever we get the chance at school and when we hang out. He's a really n...
A. 26 March 2012: Just ask lol Not got anything to lose.
And this guy probably thinks you're interested in him, seeing as you spend a lot of time together and get on so well. He will have taken it in the wrong way and tried to show you he likes you as more than a f... (read in full...)
I just used her for sex so how do I end it and still look good?
Q. I started screwing, nothing serious, around with this chick from my job when I'm home from college. She was a rebound girl from my last relationship and i wasn't being to pick when i choose her. I'm not saying I'm a great catch but I'm way out of ...
A. 25 March 2012: 'Sorry, I'm not looking for anything serious right now.'... (read in full...)
Should I change my hair colour for him?
Q. I am dating a new guy and his type is brunette with olive skin. I am blonde, which i dye. My natural color is dark brown. Should I go back to my natural color? He asked me to but acted like he was joking but i dont think he was. So stay blond or go ...
A. 21 March 2012: Completely your choice.... (read in full...)
Do I tell her that I know about her cheating, and that I'm OK with it?
Q. I have a strange situation that i can't talk to anybody about and I dont know what to do. I have been married for a few years now, to a gorgeous woman. I however, am not the best looking man in the world. I have always been self concious about m...
A. 17 March 2012: Dude, you're being used. Have some self respect. Leave this woman and find somebody who loves YOU and not your money. You're being treated like a doormat and it's frankly quite embarrasing.
... (read in full...)
I have no idea how to attract girls! Help!
Q. I have been terrible at attracting women for my entire life. I have been on a sympathy date and have no other experience. Frankly, any woman who has shown attraction to me has rebuffed it once I open my mouth (or in some cases, fail to find anything ...
A. 16 March 2012: What do you personally feel the problem is? Apperance? Personality? or something else?
Girls like confidence and a man that knows exactly what he wants, some will even fall for borderline arrogance, basically acting like you're 'the man' and all ... (read in full...)
I have no idea how to attract girls! Help!
Q. I have been terrible at attracting women for my entire life. I have been on a sympathy date and have no other experience. Frankly, any woman who has shown attraction to me has rebuffed it once I open my mouth (or in some cases, fail to find anything ...
A. 16 March 2012: What do you personally feel the problem is? Apperance? Personality? or something else?
Girls like confidence and a man that knows exactly what he wants, some will even fall for borderline arrogance, basically acting like you're 'the man' and all ... (read in full...)
Hair extensions, whatever next?!
Q. I met this beautiful girl, she is laid back, funny, interesting, smart just a great girl! She has a great figure and is a natural beauty, unlike some the girls I see she doesn't look like she even has to try to look good. Well one thing about her ...
A. 13 March 2012: Yes, you're majorly over-reacting, don't risk losing a girl you like because of her hair.
She also didn't lie to you, she was completely honest and answered what you asked.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend identifies himself as "queer" Does that mean he doesn't consider himself male or female?
Q. hello people, quick question. my bf says he gender queer does that mean he doesn't identify as being male or female. assuming I'm right about the above, what does that make his pronoun, he she? neither? both? thanks for any help you give ...
A. 13 March 2012: IMO Queer means gay.... (read in full...)
Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you?
Q. This question is for Women, but men are welcome too. Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you? ...
A. 11 March 2012: Paco Rabanne - One Million
Davidoff - Cool Waters
Those two are great aftershaves/colognes for men.... (read in full...)
Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you?
Q. This question is for Women, but men are welcome too. Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you? ...
A. 11 March 2012: Yes, many times. Always adds to the attraction when a girl smells nice.... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about this. I can't discuss this with my parents, but can I just have one 'one night stand'?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have been bought up very distant from boys and because I went to a christian primary school think that I should only have sex with another virgin and this should be who I marry if it happens before I get married. But now I am 1...
A. 6 March 2012: Honestly, I don't get why so many people worry so much about losing their virginity. It's no biggy at all, I know people who've lost it at 15-16 and regretted it. Peronally I lost it at 19 and it was a good experience with someone I liked so I don't ... (read in full...)
I cant talk to girls, so should I hire an escort to lose my virginity?
Q. 20 year old virgin, should i hire an escort to lose my vcard i am socially awkard and i have never spoke to a girl casually, and hardly speak to guys wither, except when im buying something or business like that.I do have an athletic body an...
A. 6 March 2012: Dude, yes you can. I felt the same as you for years. I was the last person from my group of mates to lose my v age 19. Do you like to go clubbing? as that's an eay place to chat to girls, of course it's not the ideal place to form relationships, but ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. Can dry humping get you pregnant even if there was no ejaculation and you were wearing underwear?...
A. 5 March 2012: This has got to be a troll...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't going to get me a present for my b-day but has money to buy a new game
Q. my birthday is coming up (in two days), and i had some friends and my boyfriend around yesterday to watch some films and throughout the day, me and my boyfriend cuddled and kissed etc.. today, me and my boyfriend were talking, and he said 'i may n...
A. 5 March 2012: Sorry I don't agree with the others here. A guy blowing off buying his gf a present to play a game is quite frankly a joke.
The day that someone values a video game over their partner is the day I'd end the relationship.
If he doesn't buy you ... (read in full...)
I like him but does he actually like me?
Q. I am madly in love with this guy but I'm not sure how how feels about me. I spent an entire day alone with him about a week ago and we had so much fun. He asked me about myself and refused to accept that I was boring. He had me feel is hair and kept ...
A. 5 March 2012: Sure, keep up the flirting. Contact is always a good sign that someone is attracted to you
Sounds like he does like you though, maybe ask him to hang out sometime and if he accepts, then it's looking like he does!
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Single and dateless!
Q. Hi All, just a question. Have you ever found yourself to be dateless or relationshipless for more than 2 and a half years? I have and now i am questioning myself about my personality, looks and life style. Do you think this is odd to be on my own ...
A. 5 March 2012: Not really, I turn 21 this year and have never had a girlfriend. I just get on with it and enjoy myself.
If you're worried about it, try to find someone with similar interests, such as through groups or club which will probably help you find som... (read in full...)
He said after the last girl he just wants to be single!
Q. Well.., I like this guy who is in my year and i get on with him really well but he flirts with everyone he is just that friendly. I got my mate to talk to him sorta and he said he just wants to be single after what his last girl did to him what sho...
A. 5 March 2012: You repect his wishes.
Nothing more offputting than someone who is very persistent.... (read in full...)
Ladies, would you go out with a guy who asked you out straight away?
Q. As the above question says, would you go out on a date with a guy who you had only met on that occasion asked you out at the end of the evening? If you perceive that as needy, if a guy fancies a girl when should he ask her out?...
A. 1 March 2012: If there's an attraction and some chemistry from the off, then I don't see a problem with that.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Have I lost my online friend?
Q. I know this girl kind of. I know her online. She's a few years younger but it doesn't seem like it. We dont plan on ever meeting but we talk alot ~ often daily until recently. About 7 months back we had a kind of disagreement about my girlfriend of ...
A. 25 February 2012: If you miss her, tell her? No good just waiting around hoping things will change. Ask her if there's a problem with you guys, try and sort things out if you want to speak to her again.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is he using me for sex even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. this is a long story, everything i will mention is pretty important to the case but basically i just want a strangers point of view on what i should do... im 16 and i was dating this boy (j) in september, and i really loved him. sounds silly but...
A. 24 February 2012: Yes, clearly.
If he wanted to be with you, he would.
Feel free to tell his girlfriend that he's a cheat.... (read in full...)
I don't want to die without trying anal sex, so is it cheating if I hire a prostitute as my wife refuses to do this?
Q. Just something that I've been thinking about: My wife and I have been together for years. Like any other couple, we have boundaries and red flags in sex. Anal sex is a red flag for her. But I can't get it off of my mind! I don't want to die wit...
A. 22 February 2012: *Facepalm*... (read in full...)
Do you guys give up if the girl don't kiss u in the first date?
Q. I really want Male opinions PLease! ..I met this guy not too long ago, we exchanged numbers and since then we keep txting back and forth...finally we met yesterday for a dinner. He brought me two gifts.. I didnt expect for that! After dinner we were ...
A. 22 February 2012: No, absolutely not. Well, I wouldn't. But we're all different, so maybe he wasn't happy.
But that shows he's probably only in it for one thing...
You've tried to contact him, so the ball is clearly in his court now.... (read in full...)
I don't understand how he could like me so much one minute, then go cold the next!
Q. I am very, very frustrated. I met a guy last year from uni, and we hit it off. It blew over before Christmas, but just recently we've started speaking again. We went on a kind of date last Thursday which was lovely, and he said he wanted to see me...
A. 19 February 2012: Cerberus hits the nail on the head, he went out for a night out with mates, you can't expect him to spend the whole night with you.
I've been in this exact situation, where I was seeing a girl for a few weeks, this same scenario occured and the ... (read in full...)
Guy said I was too small for him so now he doesn't call anymore
Q. I met this guy in facebook...he asked for my number...called me several times...and we had a date...after our first date he stopped calling me....when i asked he told that he felt im too small for him...he is 9yrs older than me....but i love him and ...
A. 19 February 2012: You love him after a date? I don't think so.
There's nothing you can do, he's given you a reason, admitedly it's a little harsh, but you can't change his mind. Just move on and find someone else.... (read in full...)
He thinks that I should ask his permission before I go out with my friends!
Q. me and bf have been together for nearly six years both in twenties. we have been arguing really bad so i went up his house to try and sort it out but we couldn't resolve anything. i ended up going down my girlfriends house and going out ...
A. 18 February 2012: Yes, he is.
He has no say what you decide to do in your life, if you want to go out with frinds. Then you do that. If he threatens to finish with you or complains that you need his permission, it may be a good idea to break up with him first as... (read in full...)
Should I go out with this guy even though everyone thinks he's weird?
Q. I just moved to a new school and i like this guy and he likes me too. Everyone says hes really weird but i don't see it and everything they say is bad about him it doesn't bother me. I know your probably saying just to go out with him and see where ...
A. 14 February 2012: Serious? If you go out and break up with one guy, people will think you're a player? That actually made me laugh out loud. I have 2 mates thats life goal must be to literally have sex with a different girl everytime we go clubbing, that's what a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to put my life on hold for a while is that right of him to ask?
Q. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a former navy recruiter, and he told me of a new opportunity that would let me enlist in the military, but it is only valid for the next two months. I was very happy about it since i have been wanting to do ...
A. 14 February 2012: He's being selfish, if you've been waiting for this for a while like you said, grab the opportunity and if he's too stubborn to realise that you'll be enlisting in your dream job and he's not there to support you, then to be frank, he's a bit of an ... (read in full...)
What do you write in a valentine card to a boy?
Q. hi. well, valentines is tommorrow. i have made a card and its all ready to go except for one small thing... I Dont Know What To Write In It!!!! My name is Becky and I'm 14 and he is Rhys and he's 15. Well, he's in year 11 anyway and I'm only year...
A. 13 February 2012: Just something quick like 'Happy Valentines' doesn't need to be some huge message.... (read in full...)
Guys if you found out your girl was an older virgin would it be a deal-breaker?
Q. Guys, if you found out that the girl you liked was still a virgin would this make you more interested in her, or would it be a deal breaker? If she's an older virgin at that....
A. 13 February 2012: Why does it matter? She may have had her reasons for not wanting to lose it...... (read in full...)
Is it possible for an interracial relationship to be successful?
Q. Could it be possible for a black girl and a white guy to have a succesful relationship? Or is the cultural differences too much? I'm an African American girl and i've being thinking of going out with this guy i'm in college with but i've asked a ...
A. 11 February 2012: Of course it can. If you guys want to be together, what's stopping you? Give it a chance and see what happens.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why does she involve her friends in making decisions for her?
Q. Ok i have loved this girl for over a year or so she goes to my college and everything but i have lost trust in her over these months. We share fb passwords and i realised that she has often told her friends somethings i would of liked to be betw...
A. 11 February 2012: Yep, delete facebook. Just leads to all sorts of pointless arguments.
I have a mate who broke up with his girlfriend because he read messages on facebook that she was sending to a guy BEFORE my mate had even met her....that's one of the stupides... (read in full...)
Is pool or bowling a good idea for a second date?
Q. I'm having a second date tomorrow, and I am short of inspirational ideas, thought of two, take her to play pool/billiards or go bowling. I will then take her for food she said she liked when we met last week. Is pool/bowling a good idea? ...
A. 10 February 2012: I think a good idea for a date is just something fun where you can talk and get to know each other whilst having a laugh, so either sound good. Further dates could be something like theme parks or ice skating.
Things like the cinema aren't t... (read in full...)
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