A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met an amazing girl a few weeks back.We have been exchanging a few emails.I might ask her out, but I don't know if she has a partner already.How can I ask her without being obvious? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): I say you just ask her.First ask her for her phone number and after send her a text message asking her if she'd like to meet up with you sometime and go from there. I'm in the same situation as you, except i'm on the other side- i'm the girl. I met this amazing guy a few weeks back as well, maybe about 5 weeks ago or so, and we also have been exchanging e-mails. only a few though. and I'm just waiting on him to reply. From the little that we've had a chance to talk we both found out some interesting things about each other. I find him attractive, and I think he finds me attractive too. I'm just waiting on him to ask me out. I hope he does. And I really hope you ask that girl out too. You never know, she might be feeling just the same way as I am, and maybe she's hoping that you do ask her out. I really sudjest you go for it! :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
 just ask her out... "I'm hoping you are not attached and I would like to to take you to dinner"and if she is attached she will gracefully decline.... (we hope she would for the sake of honesty and decorum)if she is in a bad relationship she needs to be out of it before you date anyway....
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (28 December 2011):
 I agree with N91. You've known her a few weeks already, why not ask her out? Women like men to be more aggressive and show their interest directly. If you like her and you're interested in her, then ask her out! Waiting and pussy-footing around the issue until you have concrete answers just means that your ego is fragile. Be a man and if you get rejected, you get rejected. Do you want to waste a few more weeks or months until you find out where you stand? If you don't ask her out, there is always the potential that someone else with more balls will.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 I agree with I am here to help you.
Once that time has gone by, if the information hasn't "slipped", your asking will appear more like a simple wish to know more about someone you've been talking to.
N91 has a point, but I like your idea of not being obvious.
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A
male
reader, Love_not_Hate +, writes (28 December 2011):
First of all, you don't ask her that question. Just ask her out. If she has a boyfriend she will tell you at that time. If she goes out with you on a date, then she is available.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Why wouldn't you want to be obvious? It's going to show you're interested by asking that question....don't beat around the bush, just do it.Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): There is really no 'subtle' way of doing this, I find the more you try not to ask directly it sounds even more like you're coming on to them. Mabye talk about how hard it is being out and being single that it's hard to 'get back into the game'? See if she responds Oh well I know i'm glad i found my boyfriend/ girlfriend , or if she says 'yeah it's like a wilderness out there'
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