A
male
age
30-35,
*ic
writes:hey whats up guys and girls i need help i don't know what to do. my girlfriend always dresses nice when I'm not going to be around like when she goes to school or work or something she never wears nice things when i am. does she have something on the side, is she cheating on me, is she going to is she looking for someone ells, i don't know what to do i always let her know if she wears something i like i tell her.for exampleshe went to school wearing my favorite jeans that she owns and a tank top that showed off her boobs. i asked her if she wanted to catch a movie she said yes so i was dressing to impress i was wearing jeans that she liked and a guess top she loves, i was expecting her to do the same FOR ONCE and wear something i liked but she did the opposite she got changed in to light blue skinny jeans that she knows i don't like because she asked my opinion on them and i told her i don't like them because they look childish and she put on a dirty looking tank top and a old faded black baggy sweater she looked like a little kid that just came home from playing at the park (dirty) and i saw this Asian girl that dressed to impress her boy friend he was dressed up like i was and his girl friend looked amazing for him and he knew it to and i looked over at my girlfriend and got upset because she never dresses nice when I'm around and today she went to school in TNA pant witch all guys love and a top that showed off her back and showed so much of her boobs and then she went to work (again when im not around).i just wish she would dress nice for me you know like how i dress p for her. any advise would be good thx for readingi mean whos is there to impress but me. If my girlfriend is not around im always dressed like i just came from the gym not dirty and sweaty of course but running shoes tack pants and a t-shirt the only way i would dress nice if she wasn't around is if i have a job interview or something along that line
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male
reader, Natures relic  +, writes (28 August 2011):
I know this is an old one, but I was about to ask the samr question, or very similar. She dresses HOT for work, low tops, flouncy skirts, sometimes no panties. When she comes home she dresses down, pyjamas instead of negligee, baggy pants instead of skirt, baggy dresses etc. I see all the answers saying this is innocent and to just talk to her an explain your feelings and all will be right, but I've foolishly done that and nothing changes, other than she dresses even hotter for work, lower and lower cut, more and more provocative. I feel I'm loosing her. She already bitched about me asking her to wear certain clothes and hates me pointing things out in the store, which she lets me buy for her then only wears for work. What is happening???
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (25 September 2009):
 This does not mean she is cheating, it just means that when she goes to a certain place she dresses a certain way. When you are around a bunch of people, in general it's expected that you dress better than in your comfortable surroundings. Chances are that when she is around you it is also her more leisurely time, which she associates with leisurely clothing, so that is why you are noticing this pattern. She might not realize that you actually want her to dress up around you to impress you. She is probably dressing like this because she feels like you know each other well enough to be completely yourselves around each other. However, if you were to nicely and politely explain to her your point of view and how her dressing patterns make you feel, I am sure that she would become sensitized to the issues, and she would start dressing nice around you too. In fact, when you tell her what is up, she may actually feel mortified to not have realized that she was making this "blunder" around you. She may not have known that this is how it makes you feel. So just tell her what is up.
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A
female
reader, jorjax1x  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 i dont understand why she would do that but i dont think shes cheating when i like a boy or going out with him i spend about 2 hrs trying to find somthing to make me look nice. i understand your a guy and its like a compertion to have the smartest best looking girl around. and when shes with you shes dressed like a scruff mention to her before you go to the pictures get dressed up a bit before we go because we might go out for a meal or one day you turn up in awful clothes with your hair a mess and see what she thinks x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Well girls dress primarily for themselves. Maybe she hasnt got the highest confidence and wants to boost it by dressing in that way at school. Maybe she would feel out of place at school if she wasnt dressing in a certain way.The one thing id point out is that you seem to want her to dress hot when shes around you. Why? Im assuming that you are the guy she hangs out with and gets intimate with, Im assuming that your the guy that gets to undress her, why would you care what other guys think of her. Im guessing here but your GF seems really comfortable around you, you accept her for who she is, she can relax around you and be herself, no really tight uncomfortable clothes, the last thing you want to do is give her the impression that you only are into her because of how she looks on your arm, Im not saying you do but you need to be careful not to give that impression.As another aunt has said, try really emphasising what you like seeing her wear, such as those pants or tops, Maybe go shopping with her and choose clothes for her but bear in mind your not going to change her style and you dont wanat her to dress trashily. Good luck with it.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (25 September 2009):
 I dont think she is cheating or looking for anyone else but she isnt behaving properly in this relationship. The key to making relationships work is to always make an effort for each other and try and maintain that sense of attraction you had for each other when you first met.
But she clearly has just stopped making the effort to look nice for you - it almost seems like she is deliberately wearing clothes you dont like whenever you go out together! I'm not really sure why she would do this - possibly she just feels like she doesnt need to impress you anymore because she already has you, but aside from that I cant really think of any other reasons why she would be behaving like this.
I think your best bet is to talk to her - pretty much just say everything you have on here (minus the cheating part - accusing her of cheating will make things so much worse and she will just get defensive!). Just say to her that you are feeling like you are making all the effort in this relationship - explain that you always try and dress nice for her and expect her to do the same because thats what people in relationships do, and tell her you dont understand why she wears clothes she knows you dont like.
Hopefully if you talk to her then she will explain and give you some idea why she is doing this. If not - then I really dont know what to say! Maybe start dressing really badly whenever you go out together and see how she likes it!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 I don't think she is cheating on you if you base this guess on her choices of clothing only, it could be just her sense of fashion, and an indicator she likes to be in the centre of attention (the revealing clothes). Maybe she doesn't dress to impress YOU because she knows she already has your attention? In a way this means she feels comfortable enough when you are around to not go out of her way to look attractively. This can be partly good, partly not so good. It may also be that she doesn't see what she wears every day as special. Usually everyday clothing=casual, that is what casual means, "suited for everyday use". You could perhaps suggest her sometimes what pieces you would love to see her wear, preferably don't overdo this as you don't want to appear controlling or offend her, however I don't think in time you would feel much better if you are somehow restricting her sense of fashion. If that is her preference at least at this time and if you are so bothered then maybe you don't belong in this relationship.
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