A
female
age
30-35,
*20239
writes:i met this guy at a festival a few weeks back and we swapped numbers and got eachothers facebook addys etc. even though nothing happened at the festival there was definately an attraction there and we both admitted to wanting something to happen. we've been talking over the internet about meeting up some time and decided to book a hotel halfway between the places we live. he has admitted he's meeting up to have some fun but i can't help but think that is all he wants. i dont know what i should do. part of me would like to go and have some fun with the guy but another part of me feels abit unclean and dirty for wanting to do it. i also dont want to be dropped afterwards. i know nothing serious would come of it but i dont want to be ignored as if he only wanted to know me for one thing. what would you advise?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (9 September 2009):
 I think it might be best to ask him where he sees this going. I know men hate that conversation but in this case it is best if you figure out where you stand before you sleep with him!
Maybe call him or just give him a text saying you would really like to meet up but you are not looking for a one night sort of thing - just see what he has to say to that!
If he says "well I was thinking it would just be a one off" or something along them lines then you know it is best to leave it at that and not meet up with him.
If this guy has already admitted to just wanting some fun and you dont live particularly close to each other then it is pretty clear this isnt going anywhere and it will be a friends with benefits situation at best. If you are comfortable with that then fine, go for it but you need to keep your emotions in check and realise it is what it is - just sex. But if you are looking for a more meaningful relationship then this guy isnt the right one for you!
I hope this helps!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): You only met him once at the festival, so you don't really know anything about him. People don't alway's come across as themselve's first time they meet someone, and since it sounds out of character for you, you might end up regretting it in more way's than one. For those reasons, i would advise you not to meet with him.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 September 2009):
 You're an adult, if you just want to have a bit of fun you certainly shouldnt feel bad about that. If he's booked a hotel its pretty clear what is on the cards and if you're both on the same page then there shouldnt be a problem. You could always meet for coffee before going to the hotel and work out where you stand, then if you feel reluctant afterwards just back out. Just trust your gut.
Best of Luck
JT
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): You are asking to be used. You can't blame anyone but yourself if you make plans with a guy who pays very little attention to you to meet in a hotel room. You know what he wants and you need to stop pretending to be ignorant about it. What do people do in hotel rooms with strangers? Obviously you need to grow up and own what you do. You are using him just as much as he is using you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): it is risky, and it seems like it's out of character for you to be wanting to do this the way you are talking.
it all depends on how much you like him, but you could end up really hurt if you go into this wanting something more than what he does, it's clear he just wants a bit of fun unless you can expand on that part.
did you do anything with him at the festival already? (sorry if i'm being too personal, lol)
you just don't want to hurt yourself if you like like him.
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