A
female
age
30-35,
*bbiestar
writes:My last year teacher got involved with a senior girl two years ago and they've been dating since, but for the last year they've been kind of on and off. I really have a huge crush on him. He did get into trouble for dating a student but he got to an agreement not to teach the 12th grade anymore. I still see him around at school, and we say hello and hug and everything. He tells me I'm a gorgeous girl an last year we would call me his favourite student. Do you think if he broke up with this girl, I would have a chance? Would him having gone through it, increase my chances or maybe he learnt her lesson and won't ever date a younger girl again? Also they'd be an even bigger age difference between us since his girlfriend is now like 21 and I'm 16 :S
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broke up, crush, my teacher Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abbiestar +, writes (7 October 2009):
Abbiestar is verified as being by the original poster of the question wow, mysterious_blonde_lady, you really got me thinking. Thanks for responding. I think you might be right. I got hopeful that I might have even a slim chance of him being interested in me just from the fact of his girlfriend beeing an ex-student as well(actually they were student and teacher at the time). From what I know the reason why things weren't working out with the girl at times were because she' a bit of a control freak and I remember I'd see him rushing out of school because he said his girlfriend would get really mad at him if he was late and whatnot. Thank you :)
A
female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady +, writes (7 October 2009):
Hmmmmmmm
Weird. Why is there a teacher going around dating the students? This is not appropriate...
Ok; well all i can say is; whether or not this guy breaks up with his girlfriend i dont think makes any particular difference to your chances... unless you think you have a chance purely because you have the fact you were also a student of his in common with his girlfriend; you believe he is willing to date girls purely because they are his students? Im guessing not so. Just like anyone else, unless this guy has shown interest in you having a girlfriend or not makes little difference to your chances. Anyway; i dont see why you'd want to date this man as when demonstrated his relationship with this other student didnt work out? Obviously there is something not right.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): find someone your own age.. this guy is werid :|
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A
female
reader, Abbiestar +, writes (27 September 2009):
Abbiestar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionReally he's not a creepy sick man. I know it may sound like it, but he's really not. :S I'm just thinking maybe cause I'm not HIS student anymore there wouldn't be a problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): i agree delia- this man is sick.
he shouldn't be allowed to run around the school freely preying on children . he should be locked up and well, the key should be lost forever.
more and more paedos are entering the school gorunds in the guise of teachers. it is a preying ground for these sick people. sad that the children cannot see them for what they really are. it is only when these girls become adults and lead dysfunctional lives, that the likn can be made with the pervert in the classroom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): He is definitely sick!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): He has already been warned--should have been fired in my opinion. And he is still going with this girl??
Forget him. His behavior to you sounds inappropriate as well.
The next time he would definitely get canned.
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A
female
reader, weepingwillow  +, writes (8 September 2009):
Hey just to re emphasize what everyone else said, this teacher should not be going around hugging his students or hitting on them its illegal.
I can totaly understand how flattered you feel by his attention to you but remember he is your teacher and him coming onto you would be a breach of trust.
You should avoid him and if this guy tries anymore moves on you, report him A.S.A.P
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 September 2009):
 If he calls you gorgeous and hugs you then this is innapropriate behaviour for a teacher and should not be allowed to continue this. Regardless of how he started this relationship with the other girl he abused his position as a teacher by starting a relationship with her.
And I can pretty much tell you that you will not be the only girl he is behaving like this with! It is natural for you to defend him because you have a crush on him and in your eyes he is a great guy. But in reality, he is a teacher who is abusing his position and taking advantage of young girls. Look at the way he had led you on by behaving the way he has - if he was a responsible adult then there is no way on earth he would act like this. I'm 99% certain that in his new class this year there will be more girls like you that he will flirt with - this guy is not normal!
I know it is hard to accept that someone you have feelings for is not the great person he is in your head, but I'm afraid it is a criminal offence in the UK to have relationships between students and teachers. This is because a teacher is in a position of power and has a responsibility to their students. When an adult is given such a position of responsibility it is their duty to respect this and maintain a purely professional relationship with their students. If the teacher cannot do this and pursues a romantic, even sexual relationship - then this is very, very wrong.
I really do believe you should report him - what he is doing is wrong and the school are in the wrong for allowing him to still be around children after he had a relationship with a student!
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A
female
reader, Abbiestar +, writes (8 September 2009):
Abbiestar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never intended to say that my teacher and the girl had sex while they were still student and teacher. They didn't start dating because of the time they spent at school, but because my teacher loves to go out and have fun and he used to run into a bunch of his students, that's probably how it all started with this girl. He's not a sick, weirdo or pedophile just looking to hook up with a bunch of young girls. I'm not sure if I'm the only one he treats the way he treats me but he was always very respectful to his girlfriend and he talked to me a bunch of times about his plans on marrying her, but it doesn't look like things have been going that well between them lately.So are you saying if something really did happen between us it would mean that he's sick?? :S
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): I didn't bother to read everything b/c I was upset! Little girl, leave that man alone before you get yourself into trouble and him. Try him back when your turn 18.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 September 2009):
 I am surprised to hear this man is still permitted to teach as most Local Education Authorities recognise this as a criminal matter requiring a child protection investigation. In the UK it is against the law to have a sexual relationship with anyone you teach in High School. It doesn't matter if you are aged 16 or over - it is considered a criminal issue of 'breach of trust'. You maybe flattered by his attention but it sounds like he is a threat to young people and potentially grooming you with nice comments and favouritism. I think you need to speak to someone at the school in charge - a personal tutor or teacher you respect. You should also talk to your parents about him - don't think he will make a nice boyfriend, he is a nasty piece of work who preys on girls because he is incapable of having proper relationships with adults.
The reason I am asking you to speak up is that this man will have multiple targets - don't feel 'special', you are one of many girls he has an eye on. He has an inadequate personality structure which makes it difficult for him to identify personal-professional boundaries and understand that relationships with young girls are not ok. He needs treatment to understand why he is in the wrong and if he is cheeky enough to repeat his activity of flirting with girls in school after a formal warning then he is a danger to your community more generally.
I think if you don't speak up there could be a potential disaster with other female students at your school.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 September 2009):
This guy is a paedophile and should not be allowed to work in a school ever again! I'm shocked that he was allowed to continue teaching after his relationship with a student - this is not OK! And the fact he calls you gorgeous and hugs you?! I cannot believe your school allows him to keep his job, it is an absolute disgrace!
Think about this properly - he is dating a former student and flirting with you, therefore how many other girls in school is he flirting with? I'm sure his new class will be full of girls and he will start calling them gorgeous and telling them that they are his favourite student! Do you really want to be with a guy who cannot keep his eyes off young girls? Do you really think you can have a relationship with a grown man that abuses his position of responsiblity? If he leaves one student for another, then the chances are he would leave you when another younger model came along.
This man is sick, and he should never be allowed near children again. Stay away from him, he is not the sort of person you want a relationship with. He has a girlfriend so just leave it at that.
And if you really want to do the right thing then report him to the head of your school - teachers cannot call their students "gorgeous" and hug them, this is a serious offence and he should not be allowed to abuse his position like this. He is here to teach and be responsible towards his students, not abuse his power and lead young impressionable girls on. None of this is your fault - he is leading you on by flirting with you. And he will be doing it to plenty of others I'm sure. Report him to your head, before he takes it any further and actually abuses a young girl.
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