A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Im 14, almost 15 and my gf is 13, almost 14 (her bday is 3 days before mine) I havn't been on this site for a while because i havnt had much going on that i couldnt talk to my friends about. But i have recently gotten back togather with me girlfriend from last year. We ended up breaking up because i tried running away with her for reasons that i dont have time to put in here. But anyway my parents hate her and would punish me as much as they legaly could if they knew i was dating her. So of corse i havnt told them and dont plan on it. Her parents already know and they dont have a problem with it. In fact I just met her stepdad yesterday and hes pretty funny. Anyway i am a vrgin and shes not as of last year (after we broke up because of not being able to see eachother) Yesterday we hung out and came so close to having sex but i got a text from my dad saying he was picking me up in 15 min. She promiced we would have sex the next time we're togather, which will be in two weeks on the weekend. I just want to know what i can do to prepare other than bring protection and a few things to help me last longer. What i want to know is anything that can help mentaly. I know that i am ready and that there is no one else i would rather do it with. There was this one time i promiced my mom that i would talk to her before i had sex my first time so i had planned on having this convorsation with her. But given the circumstances, i cant talk to her. I cant really talk to anyone. So im talking to you people. Any advice is apreciated :]Thanxx~SFL
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): read this and comment and she will comment back with advice (she's usually quite gd (she's my friend so I should know)):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-nearly-14-im-nearly-16-should-i.html
A
female
reader, XxBeTtYxX  +, writes (14 September 2009):
use protection and be safe and the longer you leave it to tell your mum or dad, the worse. make sure that no one in the relationship is pressured into doing this.x
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A
male
reader, koenig +, writes (14 September 2009):
DISCLAIMER: This post is legal in the United Kingdom as specified by section 14 part 3 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003. This post is intended to protect your well being and not to encourage sexual activity.
In almost all jurisdictions in the United States, if not all, for persons under the age of 16 to engage in sexual activity (for some states it may be even higher than that). That means that having sex with this girl is illegal and (depending on the jurisdiction) may even be statutory rape (even if she says yes, it is automatically rape in the eyes of the law because of her age). You as the older party would commonly be more responsible for the crime than her.
Should you decide to have sex despite it being illegal, please make sure you have safe sex - use a condom.
You can't really mentally prepare for sex, although as you get older, you become more ready for it. Are you sure you should really do it?
A little about first times: they can be awful.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Well I just have to put the legal bit in first - it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16 so just keep that in mind!
There isnt really any mental preparation you can do to be honest - if you love her and know that you are 100% ready for sex then technically you are "mentally ready". Make sure you know how to put the condom on - thats the most important thing! It needs to be on correctly otherwise it could come off or break and that is the last thing you want! Seen as she has had sex before (was she 12 when she lost her virginity?! That is just scary!) there is a chance she could have an STD so using a condom is so important if you do decide to do this.
When I think back to my first time, the reason why it was so special was because we loved each other so much, we had been together for over 6 months and we were inseperable. I completely trusted him, and at the time wanted to be with him forever.
So I guess you just need to be certain that she is the right girl to lose your virginity to, make sure you trust her and really love her. This is an experience you will never forget and you will want to look back on it fondly, not with regret. So everything should be as perfect as possible - you will want to make sure it is somewhere quiet where you are not going to be disturbed, somewhere comfortable and that you both are totally happy about doing this.
Personally you both seem too young to be having sex, I think it will end up being a teenage fumble that is over pretty quickly and you will look back when you are older and regret it. But if you are certain that everything feels right and you know for sure that you want to do this then there is nothing we can do to stop this!
Make sure you use protection and take things slow - aside from that there is no other real advice I can give! If it really is the right time then it will feel good and you wont feel uncomfortable at the time - no amount of advice can make you mentally ready for sex, that is something that comes from within. If you know 100% that it is right, then you will feel mentally prepared. if you dont feel like you are totally mentally ready for this then maybe you should wait a little longer to have sex - after all, what is the rush?
I hope this helps and good luck!
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