A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.I'm going to try and make this question as short as possible. I work with a lad [I'm a student with a part time job] and have started to develop feelings for him. We have been texting a lot recently, usually just before bed. In these texts he puts kisses on the end, and says sweet things like 'goodnight, sweet dreams' [If you're a girl you will know that the amount of kisses on a text matters! haha]. The problem? He's 17 in June, and I'm 19 in the same month. Is this wrong? I don't need advice on how to develop a relationship with him, I just need to know about age gaps, and whether or not they work. Is he too young for me? I won't even be able to go out for a drink with him, and he can't even learn how to drive yet even though I have been driving since 2008. I really need help. Please don't judge me!Thanks!!!!
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 He's 17, you're 19, no big deal, I think. Unless either of you find that his lack of age interfering with "of age" activities. It's not as if we're talking about a 10 or 20 year gap. Any younger than 17 and I'd wonder about your motives. At 19 you can hardly be called a cougar, sweetie. Don't sweat the small things. BFD, 2 years.
A
male
reader, Trans Am Man +, writes (3 May 2010):
 It's only two years, don't worry about it. I'm in love with a girl who's 3 years younger than me
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A
female
reader, Deanna_can_help +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I really wouldn't worry about age difference, if you love/have feelings for someone and they feel the same you should go for it, unless the age difference is something like 40 years
Be careful though, make sure he feels the same way about you as you do about him, don't let yourself ge hurt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): I'm the original poster of the question and wanted to say thanks for the answers. 'K C 100' Thanks for your answer, I reread my question after posting, and realise that the way I worded the alcohol and driving bit, sounded bad! I barely ever drink, and don't need to drink to have fun, I was just trying to make a list of things that other people may ask about. Again, it came out wrong, but was too late to edit. Thanks to 'celtic tiger' for your words of warning, I'll be careful thankyou :) 'Midge' your answer made me feel better. Thanks to all three of you :)
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (3 May 2010):
 a two-year age gap is not too much of a gap. A ten year age gap would be too much (I speak from experience, it was too much and didn't work) You shouldn't let the age difference worry you too much. Consider instead whether he is he mature. If he is then go for it! If he isn't then save yourself the hassle and keep him as a friend.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Im 34, my boyfriend is 43. I used to go out with a guy when I was 18, he was 17. Although it was fine for a while, I found him VERY immature! Age gap doesnt matter too much unless the age gap is where one is a minor and the other old enough to be the parent.
People get so fixated on age gap these days. It doesnt matter unless there is an age gap where it becomes illegal. Just go and have fun! There are loads of things you can do other than going and having a drink together.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Just a word of warning... dont get your hopes up. Just because he puts kisses at the end of the texts does not mean he likes you as much as you like him. Just because he texts a lot before bed, doesnt mean he wants a relationship. I know to you and me these things "mean" something. You wouldnt do them unless you meant them. But guys dont think the way we do. Guys are strange like that, and often they will do things without realising the signals they are giving out. Dont fall into the same trap I did, thinking that actions mean more than they really do. I have been hurt badly, and I am still hurting because I read into actions - just the same as you have been getting, kisses on txts, lots of contact, lots of attention - but which were suggesting feelings that are obviously not there. So just be careful.
As for the age gap, its only two years, its not a big deal, but just realise you may get frustrated with him because he cant/wont think like you. If he is still at school, then he will have that to think about, and his friends are all going to be the same age as him.
Good luck and I hope it works for you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Its no big deal - if it were a 19 year old guy with a 17 year old girl no one would care less! Yes it is a little unconventional to date a younger guy but if you like him then it doesnt really matter, as long as you like each other and enjoy each other's company then that is all thats important.
Drinking isnt a big deal, there is still plenty of things you can do together like go for a meal, go the the cinema, bowling.....there are loads of things you can do that dont involve alcohol. Plus its only another year until he is 18 so that is not a huge amount of time before you can start going on nights out together. As for driving - why does that matter? I am a 23 year old woman and cant drive, it has never bothered any of my boyfriends! If you need to go anywhere you can drive or use public transport, that isnt the end of the world. If you judge a relationship on what car he drives and how often he takes you for a drink then really your idea of a relationship is pretty messed up anyway!
Your relationship is not wrong, he is over 16 therefore there is no harm in you being together if that is what you both want. Do whatever makes you happy, and if that means being with him then go for it!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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