A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my mum just found out i was smoking, she found them in my bagshe no longer trusts me, coz she asked me ages ago if i smoked and i said noi only said no because i didnt want to hurt hershe is acting like its the end of the worldi have 3 brothers who smoked when they was at the age of like 14, im 16 and shes going mad, she didnt go that mad at my brothersi dont smoke all the time, i can stop right now, i told her that and shes still not talking to mei said sorry a dozen timeswhat can i do??? :(:( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (16 April 2010):
 Actions speak louder than words Quit smoking now, sooner or later she will be over it because she loves you and she mad because she wants the best for you and she might feel a little disappointed that you are breaking the law at a young age and polluting your lungs. Tell her you will never smoke again or even touch a cigarette and promises it and keep your word.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (16 April 2010):
 I am glad you have patched things up with your Mum.
Good Luck with keeping off them now.
Tiger x
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone who helped!
i really appreciate it
im not a sheep, none of my mates smoke, i just tried it once and liked it and now and again i have one
its only that my mum found them, i actually forgot where they were.
but me and my mum are cool now, shes given me another chance and i feel so happy
im never going to smoke again
thankyou everyoneeee
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 April 2010):
 I used to be a smoking cessation advisor to the NHS. I also smoked a bit as a teenager and in my early 20's probably for the same reasons as you - it is a social thing and a bit of a nicotine kick. The basic facts are that smoking impacts on your health in all sorts of nasty ways and it is one of the most addictive substances (nicotine) to give up. Clearly when most people start smoking they never think they will die of lung cancer or develop any of the health consequences from inhaling the byproducts of cigarettes such as heavy metals. However, it is a very expensive habit, it smells bad, it is banned from public places and it accelerates skin damage so you get to look mighty old by the the time you are 40. I am not shocked your mother is unhappy that you are smoking. If she didn't care then she would be a rotten parent. You think you can give up but it is not easy once you are addicted - hence all the adverts on the TV for nicotine replacement aids. I suggest that you think long and hard about your decision to smoke. It wasn't until I got seriously ill in my mid-20's that I realised how disgusting smoking is and packed up for good. Don't wait until you get ill, be mature enough to recognise your mother's anger as concern for your future...she doesn't want to see you strapped to a chemotherapy machine with your hair falling out as you slowly drown from a growing tumour in your lungs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): if you can stop right now, then stop right now! Why pay tons of money to get cancer, have raunchy breath, and taste like an ashtray? cost versus benefit my friend! Your mom is mad and doesnt trust you, all because you want to slowlt kill yourself! Look, smoking doesnt make you cool. I know its hard to see now, but smoking will ruin your life.
A month ago my boyfriends granpa died from brain cander. it was lung cancer from smoking, but even after he stoped smoking it still spread to his brain. Literally 2 weeks before he died he was doing repairs aroud his house and running a family business. It blindsided everyone! Do you want that to be you? Just quit, its not worth it!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (16 April 2010):
Smoking is just a totally disgusting habit. Do you actually know what you are breathing in every time you take a drag? The chemicals and particles in the smoke just as bad as sitting next to a car exhaust for a couple of hours.
What your Mum is upset about, is that a) you lied to her face. b) you are doing something that could lead to your premature death. c) you come home stinking of smoke (believe me, smokers do not realise how much they stink!) d) you are probably spending huge amounts of money on cigarettes and then trying to get more money off her when you run out.
As a parent your whole life is about protecting your children from harm. Teaching them right from wrong, not letting them run in the road, keeping them out of danger. Then you go and start smoking, something which could ultimately kill you if you are unlucky - she is probably wondering why she bothered!
Why did you lie? Is it because you know smoking is bad? So why do it?
"i dont smoke all the time, i can stop right now, i told her that and shes still not talking to me"
SO if you dont smoke all the time, and you can stop right now, WHY do you smoke in the first place?
Is it coz its cool, innit? No, it is NOT cool. Just because your friends might be doing it, does not make it cool. Just because your friends do it, does not make it right.
If your friends did drugs, would you do it too? If they jumped off a cliff, would you follow them blindly, "because its cool"? Stop being a sheep and think for yourself.
As a non-smoker, personally I think it is a disgusting habit. The smell alone is enough to put me off, and I would never go out with someone who did smoke.
My Dad smoked for all the years I can remember. My earliest memory of my dad is him lighting up with a green lighter when I was about 3 or 4, and telling me not to tell mum. But he hid his smoking. He LIED about it. He would go off down the garden and have a quick puff, then try and cover up the smell with mints. He used to drop them by accident and I used to find them under the rug, or in the kitchen and I would bin them, because I thought my Mum didnt know, and I didnt want them to argue. She did know, but HE didnt know we knew. He thought he was safe in the knowledge that we were oblivious. Even his own mother didnt know, and she would have been horrified about it.
But the point here, is that he LIED about it. Rather than be honest, and admit he smoked he was secretive and guarded. And that is what hurt the most. We discovered, that the smoking lie was just one of many, but he was so good at it, he thought he was invincible.
SO what else would you be prepared to lie about?
Do yourself a favour, quit the smoking. You will be healthier, happier, and all the money you will save, you can put towards other things. You will be 17 soon I bet. DO you want driving lessons? Why not quit the fags and put the money you save in a pot for those?
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A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (16 April 2010):
Simple: stop smoking. It's the mature thing to do.
It's likely that you'll need some help since it's highly addictive. See if there's a counselor or something at your school. That person should be able to help. You're not the only one dealing with this.
Sorry if this sounds like yet another adult patronizing you, but smoking is just really harmful in so many ways.
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male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 April 2010):
 The only thing you can do is quit smoking, you slowly regain her trust. I am not going to lie to you, I was a smoker for about 15 yrs. It took a back surgery to get me to quit (i needed a bone graph and the doctor wouldn't operate until I quit). Looking back in life, of all my accomplishments, quiting smoking is number 1. It is even ranked better than when I got my BA degree.
If you really can quit when you want. Quit now. Once you are hooked, it will take a miricale to give em up. I your mom did love you, she wouldn't care less is you smoked. And I you didn't care about your mom, you wouldn't be on here asking for advice (and I do commend you for that).
Do the right thing and quit. She will trust you again, but it miht take a while.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 April 2010):
 How about stop smoking?? Let me just get this out of the way - smoking is just about the most stupid thing you can do to your body, simple as that. There is no reason to smoke at all, there are no positives to smoking and only negatives. My work colleague has just lost her husband to lung cancer after he smoked all of his life, since he was 16. He was diagnosed with cancer and was told he would have 18 months to live, but 2 weeks later it had spread to his bones and brain and he died suddenly with no warning. He didnt even have chance to get chemo, the cancer was that serious that he died after 2 weeks of being diagnosed. Do you really want that to happen to you? Because it will if you keep on smoking.
I'm sure you are not stupid and know how dangerous smoking is, and I'm sure you will know that after a few years your teeth will be permanently stained yellow and your nails will go the same way. I'm sure you know that when you start smoking as a teenager you are more more likely to become addicted and will end up smoking for the rest of your life. I'm sure you know that when you have been smoking continually for years it ages your skin beyone belief, so when you are 40 you will look at least 55. I'm sure you know that it is a complete waste of money that could be spent on much better things.
I'm sure as an intelligent educated teenager you know all of this and I am just lecturing you here - but then tell me why do you smoke? Are you trying to look cool?
It doesnt matter how she reacted when she found out about your brothers, what matters is your health! Your mum has every right to be mad and there is nothing you can do to make this better apart from never touch another cigarette in your life. If your brothers want to send themselves into an early grave then so be it, but you need to wake up and realise how pointless and stupid smoking is, and stop now before you do any permanent damage.
Do the right thing and stop smoking, and when you stop coming home stinking of smoke and when you dont have any cigarettes in your bag then maybe your mum might believe you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, terrifenby +, writes (16 April 2010):
 Why do you smoke? Because you brothers do or maybe your friends do? Im a smoker and unlike you i would find it very hard to stop! What i suggest you do is although you say you can stop if you wanted,go to the doctors but ask your mum to come with you. And ask for advice on stopping smoking and see what they can offer you! That way you are showing that you are serious about stopping and also involving your mum in the process! Other than that im not sure but try talk to her again and like i say make that appointment. It will also help her to trust you again and prove you are sorry! Let me know if i have been of help! :)
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