A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, firstly the problem i have is i like a more mature women mentally that is, my idea of a night out is not to go to a club and get wasted (To me this is something i'd do with the lads, Not my gf, im not saying i wouldnt do it im just saying its the way i think) and most women i attract just want to do this, They never want to do something romantic so i've decided to try online and see how that goes the problem is i suck at making profiles soo...I'm not asking you to tell me exactly what i should write, I'm asking (women mainly) what would make me stand out, What sort of things should i write about myself that are important? for example i dont want you to tell me to say i love children but "mention how you feel about children" is what sort of stuff im looking forfor example this is one i just signed up to and questions below, What stuff would interest you and make me stand out if i was to fill them in?MY self summary?What im doing with life?I'm really good at?The first things people usually notice about me are?The six thing i could never do without?You should message me if?Thanks for any help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 There is a solid difference between being honest and being rude. If you can't tell the difference I agree it is best for you to be "mysterious" as you put it. Being honest means: don't tell lies and be upfront. If all you want is a shag, rude as it sounds, its a lot better you are honest about that instead of pretending you intend to marry the woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, insightful..Nobody has ever said that about me before but that's 100% correct..My main goal in life is to understand women 100% which i guess is impossible and vice versa for women, but if it keeps me busy oh well :/
That's one of my biggest downfalls if i be honest, I think to much and respect women to much and explain myself to much, You as a women might think thats nice about someone you dont have much connection with, but if it was your boyfriend would you really like that? many of times i've asked that women have said no, They like mystery so im guessing you may feel the same? which i dont know but anyhow, I think thats where im going wrong, like when i hear my mates saying "wow i'd do this and that to her" i admit, most of the time i'm thinking the same thing, but im alot more respectful to say it out loud, even though i guess women like the attention?
But thank you all, specifically kc_100 for writing so much, it really is appreciated.
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A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Shew...well just the way you put your "problem" accross stood out for me.
You sound like a insightful, deep man.
I see K c100 gave you some good pointers!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 April 2010):
Brute honesty always caught my eye and kept me interested. Vague people bore me and also makes me think they are insecure or must be hiding something.
So the best thing I feel is if you can be upfront and honest about things. Be upfront about exactly what you are looking for in a relationship and what kind of woman you seek. Don't be vague.
Describe your goals in life, either acreer wise or otherwise. If you have a sense of humor use it instead of saying you have it. People who paint themselves in gold aren't attractive. As far as being honest about your flaws, don't dig too hard into them. Certain things are better to save until you are a few dates in.
"The first things people usually notice about me are?" Ask a bunch of people you know and have them say three things about you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Well regarding children, marriage etc - you are way too young to mention that without freaking other girls out so dont say a thing! It is best to just leave that out, it is not important at your age. Unless you never want children and never want marriage - then you should mention that but again, if you hold those views then you are going to massively narrow the field of girls!
As for the rest - just be honest. I actually met my current boyfriend online and we have been together nearly 8 months now and things are going great. And what attracted me to his profile was that it was well written (good standard of English, good spelling and grammar, his profile contained lots of info about him and he had similar interests to me. Try and write as much as you can without making it stupidly long, detail is important here. And mention little quirky things about you - little random details can be really cute and give an insight into your personality.
So just talk about what you do, what you enjoy, your hobbies, what you hope to do in the future (it is good to sound ambitious and if you have a bit of a plan)....there is so much to talk about I'm sure you will find plenty!
There really is nothing in particular that will make you stand out to girls - with your profile you might really appeal to one girl but then to another she might completely pass you by. It really does vary so much!
To be honest with online dating, it is very shallow and your picture is a million times more important than your words on your profile. Online shopping is like catalogue shopping - you have a big catalouge of people and you pick the ones you like the look of. It is very shallow and looks based, so get a good picture and make sure it is recent!
If you have a good picture then the next step is your profile, and as long as you sound reasonably fun and interesting then girls will take notice. The only way you could put them off if you have a good picture is if you come across as really boring and all you do is go to uni/work, go out drinking with mates and chill out watching films/music. That is boring and wont stand out at all from other profiles! one thing I have just thought of - dont have a silly profile name! Just your first name with some numbers is best, nothing like "wonderboy89" or anything like that!
Things that girls (well me anyway!) tend to be impressed with are:
- if you can cook
- if you keep fit & active
- if you are honest about your body shape/type - as in dont lie and say "muscular" when you are just an average shape!
- Travelling - even if you have not been travelling, just cool places you have been on holiday or where you would like to go
- random quirky traits - like the things you really love, like the smell of rain, or hate the way cotton wool feels when you rip it etc....this makes it much more personal and will normally make the girl smile
- job/education - it is important and a guy working in a bar is much less attractive than say someone working in a decent company in a managerial position or someone studying quite a difficult degree.
You can actually sound a little full of yourself - this isnt a bad thing unless you go over the top. Lay it down on the line how you are - if you are grumpy in the mornings then say so, if you are pretty tough and dont take any crap then say so. Make it real, dont try and copy anyone else's profile just write whatever you feel. The more real and truthful it is the better.
And try and say what you are looking for in a girl, even if you think you dont have a type as such. Not neccessarily looks-wise, what sort of personality in a girl would you look for. What would you like to do in a relationship with a girl? Are you more of a romantic sort who wants cuddles and romantic meals etc, or would you be taking the girl out all the time to galleries, the theatre...etc. Try and think if you can what it is like to be in a relationship with you and what it would involve.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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