A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 yr. Old female I been in a relationship of 3 years my boyfriend has a problem with my weight. I'm not too much overweight but I try to do everything I can I go to the gym I eat healthy and I do it all for myself and him but it seems to not be enough for him I try staying as attractive as possible for him I do my hair my nails wear nice clothes but he's a little pushy and wants me to change overnight and losing weight takes time but he doesn't seem to understand that. He has even told me that if I don't lose the weight he's dumping me! how do I tell him to back off the weight issue?
View related questions:
overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): Hey Twinlab, speak for yourself. I know PLENTY of men who like a woman with some meat on her bones. It may be cultural, but in my community, a woman with curves gets attention over a size 0 any day.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice... I'm a size 7 in bottoms I'm a 38C in bra size and I wear a medium n tops... i Really don't need to lose any weight I feel comfortable as I am is just HE wanted me to be a size zero and that's. Why he got dumped because he wanted to control me and put me down make me feel worthless to be able to control me when I told my friends that he wanted me to lose weight they thought he was crazy because I look fine the way I am I tried to make him happy I tried working out and he was still not happy its time for me to move on...... thanks again for all the advice
...............................
A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (26 April 2010):
 You got slow metablolism try some drinks for losing weight they'll slow it down and if you work out and got fir body in month. It's not about how much you weight but how your body looks like
.
...............................
A
male
reader, twinlab99 +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Sorry to say...Lose the weight! Look, men don't like fat women, or even "slightly overweight" women. It hurts i know, but lose it. And let me tell you when you do, and you will, you will have so much more self confidence......
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm 5'6 I weigh 155 and I got curves
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm dumping him and I weigh 155 I used to weigh 145 when I met him I feel comfortable with myself he just didn't make me feel good at all but he's gone I'm moving on... thanks again your words are very helpful
...............................
A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Good for you!!! We will be her to support you! And do try to have a NO CONTACT rule. Now, this will hrt like mad, but I promise you, if you stick to it and kep yourself busy, you will see a way through this mess and regain self in the process. welldone for having the courage to let go of your partner....You really really do deserve better!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): tell this idiot that he is dumped! end of.
...............................
A
female
reader, Just Diana +, writes (23 April 2010):
leave him. He is not worth it. But I am guessing you think he is, considering you still with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe advice is very helpful thank you and I am done with this guy he makes me feel so worthless... time fro me to move on with my life... thank you again ladies
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Dump him for being an idiot! Seriously, if he does not support you when you are clearly making a massive effort to try and change the way you look, and make yourself look nice for him, then he is not worth your time. You are doing everything you can to please him, and what is he doing to please you? What is he doing to try and help? Nothing!
He sounds like a total jerk, I dont know why you are putting up with him! Only an idiot would think it is possible for you to lose weight overnight, he clearly does not love you or care about you if he is treating you like this. If he loved you he would be really suportive towards you, encouraging you to lose weight rather than being pushy! He would appreciate your efforts rather than make idle threats to you when the weight is coming off too slowly for his liking.
In a relationship based on love and respect, when there is a problem such as the one you have, your boyfriend would have told you how he felt and would have then tried to find a way to resolve the problem with you. When he sees the effort you are making for him he would be grateful and he would let you know how well you are doing. He would try and be active with you so being fit and healthy is something you could do as a couple. He would praise you when you had been to the gym and tell you he is really proud of you for doing this.
I doubt your boyfriend has done any of the above! So what you have with your boyfriend is not a real relationship based on love and respect, it is purely based on physical appearance and emotional blackmail in your boyfriend's case. So do you really want to stay with a guy who will threaten to dump you each time you put on a few pounds? Do you really want to stay with a man who only wants you when you are thin and has no respect for you at any other time?
You can do better, so beat him to it and dump his ass! Then lose the weight and look amazing, just to rub his dumb face in it!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (23 April 2010):
 You get him to back off by dumping him. Any guy who threatens to dump you for being overweight is a complete waste of your time. he does not love you, because loving someone is about loving all of them, looks, personality, intelligence, weight the works. He is trying to cherry pick the assets he likes which is unacceptable. If he cannot love and respect you as the whole person you are, he does not love or respect you at all.
Ditch him and find someone who is worth your love and who loves you just the way you are.
best of luck xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Don't ever put up with someone telling you your relationship is on the line because of your weight. Unless your health is endangered, he is in no position to dictate this matter.
With over three billion men in the world, today is the day to press the ignore button, and delete unopened text messages from this person, and be open to a man who knows what love is.
So many nice guys out there . . . NEXT!!!
...............................
|
