A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all.My fiance and I have been engaged for a few weeks now. I hope for a wedding in a year or so, after we're done with important events / work, etc..My fiance's not very close with his dad. His father walked out on him, and has only started contacting him through phone for a few months after 20 years. My fiance absolutely adores his dad from the stories his relatives would tell, but he's only met him once or so.. He was pretty much raised by his uncle. Whom, he regarded as a father as well.I understand how much he loves both of them. I'm getting married, and I was wondering how appropriate it would be to ask his dad AND his uncle to walk me down the aisle. They both played a very important role in his life. 3 Thank you and have a good day.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Like everyone else said, its not for you to steal your fiance's family for parts that should be played by your own family! If you don't have a dad or stepfather in your life, what about a grandpa? (My grandpa walked me down the aisle). Or even your mom? (My best friend is having her mother walk her down the aisle next week!) Even an uncle, aunt, or friend of the family who has played an important part in your life! And if you haven't anyone that you feel comfortable asking, walk alone. But NOT with your fiance's uncle OR father, maybe he wants to ask them to play a part for him!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): I'd ask the uncle, it's rude asking the dad when he had no part in raising his kid! That is incredibly rude. Or ask your dad first, your dad or his uncle
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I wouldn't. Why is your own Dad not walking you down the aisle??
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): it's pointless for a bride to be walked down the aisle by someone who has no connection to her. (let alone by two people who have no connection to her) And it's also disrespectful to your own family. So the answer is, don't ask either of them. Ask one of your family members to walk you down the aisle or else don't have anyone walk you down.
furthermore your fiance's dad was hardly in his life at all. so it's also disrespectful to his uncle - who did the hard work and commitment of raising him - to give the dad an equal role as the uncle in the wedding.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): If you're going to have someone walk you down the aisle, it should be someone from your side of the family because that's what the symbolism of it all, is. It's not appropriate to be walked down the aisle by someone who has no connection to you. In fact it's meaningless. And how would this make the rest of your family feel?? Did you think about that? Even if you don't have a father or step-father or your relationship with them isn't close, surely there will be people from your family at your wedding, some of whom are men?? Like, uncles, brothers, brothers-in-law, cousins...? Any of them would be more appropriate than anyone from your fiance's side, for specifically walking you down the aisle.
If your fiance's dad and uncle are going to play a role in the wedding, then it should be your fiance's decision who it should be and in what capacity. (most appropriate would be as best man).
I think if it had to be a choice between his uncle and biological dad, it should be the uncle because he was the REAL father to your fiance, his bio-dad wasn't there and only just recently showed up so IMO he shouldn't have any role to play in the wedding. but then again, it's your fiance's decision, not yours.
You also should consider that it's not good for your future marriage to be (a) making unilateral decisions on important issues without him (b) assuming that what's his is automatically also yours to use as you want.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I think first of all you should run this idea by your fiance' and find out if he likes it,then if he does he'll be the one to ask hid dad and uncle .
( Btw your fiance' must be a really generous man if he's so keen on a guy who walked out on him and could not be bothered for over 20 years. Ok, life it's all about forgiveness and moving forward- but if it were me, I'd probably make him sweat a bit more the right to be center stage in my wedding. Just saying. )
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Well in my opinion it would not be at all appropriate, you really shouldnt do this!
I mean his dad has only been back in his life for a short while, and it is your fiance's dad, nothing to do with you! And with the uncle, again, it is your fiance's uncle, not your own uncle - it is nothing to do with you either! Have you not thought that maybe your fiance will ask the uncle to be best man? Or an usher? It is not up to you to steal your fiance's family to use for your own purposes in the wedding, your fiance is the one who should decide what role they have not you.
Pick one of your own family memebers to walk you down the aisle, that is traditional and the way it should be done. I think your family would be very hurt if you did not choose one of your male family members to walk you down the aisle, and picked a man that has only met your fiance once.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (8 September 2011):
Of course I don't know anything about your personal circumstances, but I was just wondering whether your own family might be expecting you to ask someone from your side to walk you down the aisle?
As for your fiance's uncle and father, I personally think you should ask your fiance what he thinks on the matter. I think it should be his decision if you do chose to involve his relatives to this degree. He may have strong feelings on the matter, or of course he may not, in which case you can choose. But I think you should ask him what he thinks about it first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Shouldn't a father figure in YOUR life be the one who walks you down the aisle?? I mean that's the significance of the bride being walked down the aisle - that someone from her family of origin "hands her off" to her future husband.
It doesn't make sense for your fiance's uncle or his dad to walk YOU down the aisle.
especially his dad, since his dad wasn't even there in his life.
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