A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, there's a boy who I've liked off and on for basically my whole life. We've been good friends since elementary school, and even in 4th grade, I found him to be extremely sophisticated and charming. We're seniors in high school now, and though our friendship through the years has suffered some rough points, I'm starting to like him again.The last time I liked him I got hurt badly. It was in 10th grade, and he seemed to like me back. He must've been leading me on, because after a few months of flirting with me, he asked out another girl whom he ended up dating for five months. This wasn't any ordinary girl though, this was a girl whom I had a deep rivalry with for years. Basically, she's an arrogant b*tch, and she's not too fond of me either. The night I found out he asked her out, I was distraught and completely shocked, considering the fact that of all people to date, he had to go for the one that was my worst enemy, the complete opposite of me. Needless to say, I broke off all ties with him, and I think he understood why I was upset, not that he tried to fix even our friendship.Over the past couple of months, we've become close again. We hang out a lot outside of school (nothing too romantic, only "as friends") and he's mentioned that he really regrets dating his ex for so long, finally sees her b*tchiness, and understands why I can't stand her. He started getting a little flirty, and I know it's dangerous, but I can't help but like him again. He ended up asking me to homecoming, and we had a great time. That was finally a night in which everything between us felt natural and easy. Considering how long I've liked him off and on though, I really want to see if we'd be as perfect for each other as I imagine. Honestly, sometimes I think we're nearly soul mates with how similar we are. It would be a waste of time to list to you the many ways in which we are compatible. My friends agree with my views on our compatibility, and I'm pretty sure he sees it too.But here's the problem: he's sending some seriously mixed signals. Sometimes, like at homecoming, he acts extremely flirty and seems to like me a lot. Those are the times when everything just feels natural and easy. But other times, there seems to be a tension and he's holding back. For example, when I text him, half of the time he stops responding randomly. There are times when he doesn't seem interested in me romantically at all. My friends think that maybe he just doesn't want a relationship since his last one didn't end well and we're all going to college in a year anyway. So I guess this is my question: if we're so compatible in my eyes, and I think he sees it too, why is he holding back? Should I still try to pursue this relationship that I've had a feeling about since elementary school or should I just forget about it once and for all? Should I confront him to finally get some much-needed answers? How would I even go about doing so?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 There could be a million reasons why he is holding back - you need to confront him and find out how he really feels.
There are no real ways to do this other than simply ask him face to face! So when you are next hanging out together simply say that you need to talk, and then tell him how you feel, and that you want to know where you stand because you cant stand this in-between scenario anymore. If you are honest about your feelings hopefully he will see this and be honest too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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