A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I like makeup. I always have my full face done - that's what I like and feel comfortable with, BUT I'm worried that guys may look at me in the wrong way. Inside (personality-wise) I'm a religious, reserved, silly person but I'm afraid my exterior won't/isn't showing that. I don't want to be seen as one of the promiscuous girls (stereotypically they are the ones wearing much makeup, put thought into their outfits). I want to be the girl a guy can take to meet his parents, one that he wants a real relationship with not just for a fling. I try to do the "natural look" putting on just mascara, lipstick, foundation, blush, bronzer...AHHH see, the natural thing doesn't go far! And I can't dress in just a t-shirt, sweatpants!These feelings may have started because one guy that had shown interest in me (who I was interested in as well) turned out to have a girlfriend that looked very opposite of me; you know, no makeup and very comfortable with her clothing (I mean no contempt, just stating what I saw). And thanks to the power of Facebook, I saw that she's close with his family and all that. And other guys who ask for my number, etc. seem questionable to me with their intentions. I know this may sound like a petty issue to worry about, but to me it's somewhat important because I want to meet a good guy who wants to be with me for the right reasons.I know my post doesn't have a specific question, but can you offer advice, words of encouragement, anything?Thanks so much!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Promiscuos ?? What's promiscuity got to do with being accurately, appropriately made up ?
Well , if you show up at family Sunday luch with the war paint of a Las Vegas showgirl you may raise a few eyebrows, there's a time and place for everything. Other than that...
And why do you say the natural look only go so far ? All that's strictly necessary to bring out the best from your feature and look gorgeous is eye pencil or kajal, a great lipstick and some blush ( the rest is nice but optional ) You can work wonders with that, if you know how to use them.
Ah, American girls ( sadly shaking my head ) :) It's such a pity. There are SO attractive in general, fit, healthy looking, spunky, great teeth ... but they can't ever figure out what to do with their make up. It's nearly always either way too much, or absolutely nothing ( which of course is OK too ,if zero make-up your choice, but not if you'd like to smarten up and don't because of some weird reason like the one you mention ).
Take a make up lesson by a professional make up artist, or go to those routinely offered for free at department stores ( yes, they'll be a bit pushy about having you buy their products after , but not terribly so ).
Once you have learned a few tricks, your make up will say " nice girl who takes pride in her appearance " , not
" they kicked me out even from "Jersey Shore " " !
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 This must be a cultural difference between the USA and the UK, because over here if you dress in sweatpants and wear no make up your a basically a 'chav' (a word we use over here) which means you have no money, no class and are very rough. Whereas if a girl looks after herself by wearing nice clothes, keeping her body in shape, wearing nice make up then she is very attractive to men because she is classy, makes an effort and enjoys taking care of herself.
There is a difference between looking natural and classy with your clothes and make-up, and then wearing loads of make-up that is trashy and wearing slutty, revealing clothes.
For example, natural make up and clothes that accentuate your figure without revealing too much flesh is good, men like this. Whereas if you are wearing very thick foundation, loads of eye make-up, tonnes of bronzer and blusher, too much lipstick or gloss....that looks overdone and trashy. If you are wearing clothes that are very revealing i.e. showing off your boobs and legs in low cut tops and mini skirts, again this is trashy and men get the wrong idea.
I wear full make up daily but always get lots of good attention from men, I never attract men who are only after one thing. I wear a pale foundation, a little bronzer, blusher, mascara and when I go out at night, maybe red lipstick sometimes or a bit of eyeliner. During the day on my lips I wear a nude or pink gloss. This is a full face of make-up, but still looks very natural, and it seems to work with men, I always get compliments on my great skin and my eyes.
I never wear trashy, revealing clothes, I sometimes show a bit of clevage or occasionally wear skirts/dresses above the knee, but never show my legs and boobs at the same time! I have an hourglass shape so I wear clothes to suit and flatter my shape, I know what makes me look best so I stick to clothes that work for me.
I think as long as you keep your clothing classy and dont put layer upon layer of make-up on you will be fine. You have just had a bad experience with a guy who already had a girlfriend, if he showed interest in you whilst being in a relationship then that shows he is happy to cheat, lie....and in general he isnt a nice person. Dont use him as a benchmark for other men!
Even if a man thinks he might be able to sleep with you because of the way you look, after you go out on a few dates he will soon realise that your personality is not like that. Yes clothing and make-up is the first impression, but once a guy gets to know you I'm sure he will see what sort of person you are and he will be able to base his intentions on that, rather then purely the way you look. You always get some guys who are after one thing, but that is life. The majority of guys I'm sure wont think you are easy or promiscuous.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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