A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: "I gtg my mum is calling. . . nice chatting with you"Is this a standard polite way to brush someone off the phone?Theres this girl I met a couple of mths ago but only really started talking to her on fb two weeks back. I've had a 2 hr conversation with her on Facebook, and a couple of days later, she initiated chat with me too (last week). I flirted with her throughout and I asked for her no. and she gave it to me. Since then I've been texting every couple of days. Now though I decided to call her coss I Haven't spoken to her for a long time. She picked up the phone and we chatted about general stuff and what we've been doing with uni and general stuff. I was in the middle of explaining something to her when all of a sudden she said she had to go coss her mum was calling her. Then she said it was nice chatting to me Now I'm really confused whether she could like me or not? Does she think I'm going to ask her out and that's why she tried to run?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 October 2011):
I think you have 2 options - either bite the bullet and ask her out so you know where you stand (you never know she might say yes!). Or the other option is what you have mentioned, wait for her to initiate the next contact and see what happens.
I do honestly think though you should ask her out - you have known her for quite some time now and because you havent really made a move she will not be sure if you are interested in her. So the more you delay and just keep on chatting casually, the more you run the risk of falling into the 'friend zone' and she will never see you as anything more than a friend.
Even if we just count the 2 weeks of properly speaking to each other, that is still quite a long time to not make a move! Girls do appreciate it when a guy takes the initiative and asks her out, waiting around wondering 'when is he ever going to ask me out' gets boring after a while and the girl will move on.
Perhaps in your situation when you were explaining whatever it was to this girl she simply got a bit bored - it sounds like you are waffling on about general stuff and uni and its getting a bit dull for her, hence why maybe she chose to take another call/end the conversation. Girls like decisive, forward men - they dont want some nervous, overly cautious guy waffling on for hours on end with no sign that this is going anywhere.
You can wait if you want, but I think she may be wondering whether you are actually interested because you havent made your move, so a better idea would be to just get on with it and ask her out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah but I have a gut feeling which tells me she might have used the 'mum' excuse because she felt I was coming on too strong thats why she wanted to leave. Should I let her initiate the next contact, since shes only done it once, and Ive initiated it three times already (all this within the past two weeks via text and facebook)
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 October 2011):
I dont think it is a brush off, I'm sure it was genuine and her mum was calling so she needed to go to speak to her. I've had other calls that were important when I have been on the phone before so I had to go to take that call - simple as that.
I dont think you should read too much into this, if she has been initiating chatting to you on Facebook then it sounds like she is interested, if she wasnt interested it would be you doing all the work. She wouldnt have given you her number either if she didnt like you.
I think your only problem here is that you are moving too slow - you said you met this girl months ago yet here you are still messing around texting and chatting on Facebook! Be brave and ask her out - at least that way you will know once and for all if she does like you or not.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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