A
female
age
30-35,
*ustAroundTheRiverbend
writes:Hi! So basically it has just occurred to me that I haven't kissed a guy in over a year and a half. Being 20 years old I feel I should have had a bit of luck in love by now... but I've had nothing, not even a proper date. I think this is all partly to do with me. I am a shy person and can only really be myself once I know a person really well. I know I don't really make eye contact with people and my friend says that is a key feature in attraction. I also don't go to many events and if I do I tend to stick with whoever I go with. The thing is, I don't really know where to start. Where to go to meet people, how to get someone's attention, etc... Any words of wisdom?
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 January 2012):
 Being shy isnt a problem, shy can be quite cute. I have always struggled to be myself unless I'm with someone I know well, it takes me time to feel totally comfortable around someone new.
However I have NEVER had a problem with men, and this is because whilst I may be shy and prefer to take my time to get to know someone - I take myself out of my comfort zone and show that I am confident and easy to talk to.
Attracting men is all about confidence - even if you havent got any, pretend!!
Your friend is totally right - eye contact is crucial, without it a guy will never know you are interested in him so he wont bother approaching you. It really is very easy - when you see a guy you like make eye contact with him. If he looks back at you, great - he might be interested. So if he does look back, then hold his gaze for a few seconds, then look away. Wait for a few seconds, then look back at him and hopefully he should look back at you too. Repeat this process a couple of times, if he continues to hold your eye contact then smile a little at him, look away - this is when he should hopefully approach you.
If that doesnt work first time dont worry, move onto the next guy. I promise you that is the easiest way to get the guy you like to come over and talk to you.
The easiest places to go to meet someone is bars/clubs, that is the standard way of meeting people and typically after a couple of drinks you are more confident anyway so that helps. Alternatives are joining sports/social clubs that are based on your hobbies (e.g. if you like running, join a running club) so you meet people with similar interests. Libraries, supermarkets, coffee shops, festivals, gigs....generally anywhere outdoors where other people are!! As long as people are around there is always a chance of meeting someone.
Maybe try online dating if you are very shy? That way you can get to know someone by email/messaging before you meet in person, so you are more likely to feel more like yourself with the guy because you know him a bit before you go on your date. I have tried online dating a couple of times and found it enjoyable and I have been successful both times so there really is no reason not to give it a try.
Make sure you go out as much as you can, dont sit at home all the time as you are never going to meet anyone that way. Appear happy and confident, laugh with your friends - make it look like you are the sort of person who is fun to be around.
All men want from a girl is someone attractive and someone they can have a laugh with. They dont want high maintenance, they dont want boring, they dont want super girly girls - just a normal, down to earth girl who is fun to be around.
If you can appear fun and happy when you are out and about with your friends then you have won half the battle.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 January 2012):
 My word of wisdom is that dating or loving are not a rat race. Think this through.
...............................
|
