A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got dumped by my ex, last year. She immediately offered to keep me as a friend. However, I didn't feel all that satistisfied, as she really meant a lot to me, at that time.Anyways, she very much lied about the reasoning of it. It made no sense, and I didn't buy it. Eventually, though, she told me an entire laundry list of faults I had. This was way after the nasty deed. I eventually got the guts to ask her why she didn't come up with it, at the time of relationship. Said she gave up on me. I got mad, at her, and I just terminated my "friendship" with her. (I even told her I didn't want Iany/I contact with her, like, online, offline. I even let her know that I didn't want to talk to her, in person.)The thing is, in face to face situations, (I occasionally cross paths with her - it Ican't/I be avoided. Sometimes, she tries to talk to me, still.) . Is it harassment, as during the summer, July 25th, 2011, to be exact, her new boyfriend tells me to leave her alone. But, I swear, I didn't to do anything. Is the boyfriend guilty of harassment, as well? If so, please tell me how either is guilty. Thanks, in advance, as I want to see if I can press charges on either of them.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Thanks, for the reply. However, I specifically told them I didn't want anything to do with either of them. Yet, they kinda insist on talkin', to me. Even in the college me and my ex attend. Like, I have to eat somewhere else, besides the cafeteria, for fear that my ex will start another anxiety attack. (I've already had 2, triggered by each, my ex, and her boyfriend.).In my opinion, I might have PTSD, due to the message the boyfriend of my ex has sent me on Facebook.I think that they might be guilty, though, as some idiot keeps honking their horn on my road. (More specifically, as they pass by my house. Not sure if it is them. And, some person with a black Honda SUV kept using my driveway as a turnaround for a while. I asked the boyfriend of my ex abou that, and ever since, the creepy turnaround episode ceased, like, completely.).Not sure on what to do. Thanks, again, though, for the reply, eh?
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 Talking to someone you know in the street is not harassment, nor is her boyfriend telling you to leave her alone (was this face to face as well)?
If, however, her or her boyfriend start emailing/texting/phoning/writing letters/showing up at your house etc and bother you with accusations i.e. leave my girlfriend alone etc then that would class as harassment.
Basically harassment is an invasion of your personal space (like your house, or your personal property like mobile phone) that is unwelcome, and it generally has to be threatening as well for the police to take it seriously.
Because you see her on the street (public property so she has every right to be there) then that does not count as harassment. You wouldnt have a leg to stand on if you tried pressing charges - imagine explaining to the police what has happened, and all you can say is 'my ex girlfriend said hello to me', you would sound pretty ridiculous now wouldnt you?
If you see her cross the road, get out of her way, keep your head down and walk past - dont stop if she tried to talk to you. Literally blank her. And same goes for the boyfriend - dont speak to him, and dont acknowledge his presence.
If they start threatening you then you can take it to the police, but you cannot do anything at the moment.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): My advice would be: walk away.
Don't press charges, don't give it any more energy, just put it behind you. Why? Because she is no longer your girlfriend, and not even a friendship remains.
She left, it was her choice, she changed her tune later on about her reasons, but the fact remains, she left. So now you move on, and rather focus on YOUR future and your happiness.
Instead of keeping her in your life with bad energy and vibes in terms of pressing charges, etc. you rather want to clear your life of her and anything of the past, to make way for someone new and better, who deserves you.
Imagine someone new in your life, and they have to hear how you are pressing charges against an ex, or the ex's new boyfriend - nah, rather put it in the past.
Neither of them is worth it, her true colours have been revealed, and it's good riddance.
Move on :) wishing you happiness!
xxxx E
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