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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Before i write my problem please try not to judge me too harshly. He and i had a casual relationship going for a while and i lost my virginity to him. I was very naive and had never experienced such strong feelings for a guy before so i guess i was blinded and didn't see that this fairy tale i had in my head was really him mostly just wanting to get laid. Eventually he got back together with an ex girlfriend and didn't bother to tell me. He basically ignored me and didn't reply to me on Facebook so i eventually just asked him if he was seeing her. He said he was and that he wanted to tell me in person and was "sorry". I was so upset but i tried to move on as best i could. After a few months of him being with her he starts flirting with me again and long story short we began fooling around behind her back. He lives a few hours away from me so i guess he thought she'd never find out (she still doesn't know). That went on for a few months until recently when i just couldn't do it anymore and i told him that he can't have me then go back to her whenever he wants. He texted and called and begged to see me just to "talk" but i said "no". So, now that i've decided i'm worth more and that this guy is just going to keep hurting me i really need to know how the hell i'm supposed to move on from it all. He texted me a few days ago asking to see me but i cancelled on him. I can't believe i degraded myself so badly over somebody like him. Sometimes i think i'll go crazy because i can't stop thinking about him being with his girlfriend or when he contacts me i feel good but then i feel like crap again.
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ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, got back together, lost my virginity, move on, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Actually there is a secret to getting over someone. Cutting all contact. Blocking him on everything online, facebook, email everything and send him one last text to never contact you again because if he does you'll change your number.
That's it, that's the magic secret OP. Once he's gone in all these things and can no longer contact you, the feelings will fade far quicker than they would if you stayed in contact.
It also helps to throw out and/or burn every single thing that reminds you of him.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 There is no secret to moving on or getting over someone. It simply takes a lot of time and feeling like crap before you will feel ok again.
All you can do is go cold turkey from him to give you that space you need to move on. This means deleting his number, taking him off Facebook, deleting his email...any way you have of contacting him, delete it. If he keeps contacting you - get his number blocked by your mobile phone service provider.
You will never move on if you are still in touch - simple as that. So you have to get him out of your life completely before you can get over him, yes it will still take time and you will feel rubbish for a while but it will get better in a few months I promise.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 January 2012):
There is no secret to moving on or getting over someone. It simply takes a lot of time and feeling like crap before you will feel ok again.
All you can do is go cold turkey from him to give you that space you need to move on. This means deleting his number, taking him off Facebook, deleting his email...any way you have of contacting him, delete it. If he keeps contacting you - get his number blocked by your mobile phone service provider.
You will never move on if you are still in touch - simple as that. So you have to get him out of your life completely before you can get over him, yes it will still take time and you will feel rubbish for a while but it will get better in a few months I promise.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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