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*idden Son Of Venus
writes: I've just recently made friends with a lady who happens to be the same age as myself and she's really great to get along with! So much so that I now have something to look forward to when going to work in the a.m. (as we met on public transport a few weeks ago). She's already in a long term relationship and I'm married. I certainly do not want to give up my life with my wife but at the same time I'd like to build on my friendship with this new lady because coming across people like her seem to be few and far between nowadays. Does anyone have any advice on platonic relationships and how not to ruin one please??? It's not often people approach me (I am one seriously scaring looking bloke!)In other words, it would be nice to ask the said lady similar things as I would with my male friends and not come across the wrong way. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 I agree with Irish49, men can respect boundaries but are probably more easily swayed or tempted to cross them too. Men have a much easier time being physical with a woman merely for the sake of sex. That doesn't mean we're bad, just different than women. I'd be surprised if many men have ever woken the morning after and felt cheap for what happened the night before. On the other side, I'd bet many women have felt that way. Again, that's just the way it is. I think sex comes to a man's mind much faster then it does to a woman, generally speaking of course. If we were the same, relationships between men and women would be disasterous.
Talk to your wife and get together as a group. That is probably the safest and best way to build a friendship.
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male
reader, Hidden Son Of Venus +, writes (21 November 2006):
Hidden Son Of Venus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi Irish49! Thank you very much for your informed answer and your well wishes! The idea about us all going out together is a great idea! My wife and I are already friends with another couple and that's lasted approximately 5 years. I'll be honest on the latter more established relationship - the female has already made her feelings open to me and my wife about me - which was 1) a bit of a shock! and 2) I don't want to go there because her partner's a damn good friend of mine and to me!! I value my friends highly! Hence the original question.
Going back to my orginal question and your kind answer, the said lady and I both have jealous partners. So I guess i'll have to approach this one with some decorum (if that's how you spell it??)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Are you certain that a platonic friendship is all you want, hun? Sorry to sound suspicious but men do have this tendency to see the world and the female form in more sexual terms than us gals do. I have many men in my past, swear they only wanted friendship but really wanted a lot more. So I do hope you are being a sincere gentleman about what your intentions are. The best way to show her you are totally honorable and genuine about a 'platonic' friendship with her, is to get her involved in your life. Have her and her partner meet up with you and your wife for a dinner or a night out on the town. This way, your new friend will know you haven't got any other hidden agendas, in establishing a good, platonic, no strings attached friendship with her. And this is a very respectful way in which to let both of your partners know, this is just a platonic friendship, nothing to get worried about. Good luck and enjoy your new friendship
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Bad idea. You lose. Sorry, can't be done (if you value your marriage, forget it).
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