| A
female
,
*umble B
writes: My husband and i thought we were indistructable as we had such a strong happy relationship. But issues i have within myself have ruined the marriage. I've read up on so many relationship problems and solutions in an attempt to fix things but they aren't relevant as we never had relationship problems (no arguing, jealousy, neglect, violence etc) until i went and hurt him repeatedly. I know why i did it and am now realising how, and how to not do it again. But we have split up 3 times, each time i have done the usual and promised to sort myself out. I have embarked on a course of psychotherapy and am looking into hypnotherapy to resolve the serious problems i have and am genuinely committed to improving myself But yet again i have hurt my husband. He has drawn a line and said, understandably, that enough is enough. I've had my chances and wasted them and he is protecting himself by ending it for good although we do still love each other very much. He can't trust me and has heard me make and break a million promises about how i'm going to change before and experience is telling him thats what will happen again. I know i can't tell him i'm back to my old self (the good one) and expect him to believe me. So i want to show him by my behavior. The problem is he won't see me. He doesn't want to let me talk him back into giving it another try. I feel if i could just keep going with my psychotherapy and really put my problems behind me this marriage would work. But if he won't see me how can i show him? i know actions speak louder than words and i've been all words and no action until now. But i have made some important steps in taking responsibilty for my actions and for hurting my husband and really feel i'm making progress. We had such a happy marriage and have 2 small children i want so much to get through this. How can i show him that i really am committed to my self improvement and i understand what i have done wrong and how not to do it again? He is filing for divorce and won't see me.
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male
reader, davie  +, writes (20 November 2006):
The way to go might be to sort yourself out properly (as it sounds as though you're not done yet) and then show him in some way that you have changed. Constantly pestering him that you have changed, which he's heard many times before, is unlikely to get any results.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 November 2006):
You haven't said what you did wrong. That information might help to understand your husbands' feelings.
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