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female
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*oohurt
writes: I am dating a married man who I started as a friendship and now I am in love with him, and he says he is in love with me. I'm at the point that, yes I want him to leave his wife and be with me, but how do I accomplish this? I do believe him that he loves me so much and we have been together without having sex, so its not a sexual relationship. Please help and give me advice, I am very open minded so I will listen to all advice given.
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female
reader, forgodsakeregisterme  +, writes (18 October 2008):
I think a lot of married women deserve all they get, a man only strays because they let them selves go. Take a walk down any street and see a married couple.The husband has usually stayed the same but the wife, Good grief! There seems to be alot of women especially having children turn into right dowdy slobs. There hair is a mess they double in size and wear such awful slovenly clothing.No wonder men go astray when they have to look at that mess each day screaming and shouting at the kids etcI say go for it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): ok why is it that the women...WHO IS SINGLE is always the one who gets the shit when she is doing nothing wrong in her normal single life.
Im not married nor am I having an affair, But HELLO. Its the MAN doing the dirty on his wife here thats the problem..
If he says he loves you hes playing, and you know it.
Otherwise its you he would be with and not her.
He needs to grow a pair of balls baby and make the decision,
How long are you going to "wait"...the wife has no idea whats going on,
so the only person who will egt hurt by this is YOU.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 Wow, the opinions you have been given are a bit harsh, you must have stired up some old feelings there. Of course it is better to meet someone single, but it dosnt always work like that. If he is in love with you, I presume he is un-happy at home. If this is the case, then he should leave his wife, its possible that she could be happy with someone else. I always think that if your happy in your homelife you wouldnt look elsewhere. You really need to talk to him about this. If you are just a fling, then you would be mad to get involved. But not all men have affairs to prove that they can still pull, just the same as women. Some people are desperatly unhappy, and get caght up in a bad situation. Whatever his reason, if he is going to leave her, you should tell him to do this first, before he gets involved with you. It causes so much pain to everone, if another person is involved.
Maybe he can sort out things with his wife, and you will have to except that.
You are always taking a chance, when you meet someone already attatched. But not all is lost, at least you dont have a sexual relationship, that would be much harder to break.
Give him some space to make up his mind, and if he stays with the wife, dont be a mistress.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): I agree with other writer. you need to stay away from this man. He is Married!Remember. He is not single and there are people that have feelings that you are hurting. Why would you even start seeing a man that is married. Can't you find someone that is single. This is sad. Expecially because I think what if my man ever cheated on me, I would be devastated and and I would definetly Kick the womans ass for messing with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): Have you ever heard the term, "leopards never change their spots"? I believe it is applicable to just about every situation where a single person is having an affair with a married person.
I think it's more prevalent that married men have affairs with single women.
For the single women involved in affairs with married men, I think it's the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. They want what they believe they can't have and the lure of the challenge is what initially attracts them.
Let's get real though, it's not much of a challenge for a single woman to lure a married man, or a single one for that matter.
Men are men. All a woman needs to do is show interest, provide a little innocent flirting and the guy is hooked.
The majority of married men who are having affairs are doing so because they are still wanting to know if they are attractive to other women.
If they are successful in having the affair, they get to have their cake and eat it too. It's very safe for both parties until your emotion starts to build and then you want that man to make that decision...his wife or you.
Most men will play it out as long as they can with broken promises to keep you hanging on and, more times than not, he will not leave his wife, especially if he has a great deal to lose.
In your case, you say there isn't sex involved and I believe it to be an exception to the rule.
My advice to you is to run fast and run far. There are so many other single men out there.
If he is telling you that he loves you, and wants to be with you, who's to say the same thing won't happen to you if you do get together.
You are taking a great emotional chance by hoping he will leave his wife and the more pressure you put on him, the less that eventuality will come to fruition.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): why couldnt u date a man who isnt married. i know there must be something about him that attracted u to him. but huney what if u were the wife and he was having an affair on u. if he by chance leaves his wife for u which married men rarely leave unless the wife finds out and kicks his ass the curb, he is going to do to u what he is doing to his wife. no matter how u see it, he is going to hurt u.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): How can you live with yourself knowing you are messing with a married bloke. Have you no morals or respect for yourself. Wow! you're not having sex, how big of you both!! I really feel annoyed that you can blatently say about it. Leave him to make a better life for him and his wife. How can he if he has you as a side show.
Please just move on and get one that is free and available to date you and give himself 100%. Take care xx
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 It's great you're open minded. Leave him alone. You're way off base. His wife loves him more than you do and he is MARRIED to her. Are you morally bankrupt?
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