| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for 18months now. after 2 months i was introduced to a girl at a party (a friend of his) during the night i got the impression she fancied my boyfriend, but let it go. at christmas he went to a ball with her as she had asked him to go before we got together i wasn't too happy about this in the first place but the next day when i saw him he told me he had shared a bed with her for the night, i was so hurt that he had done this.at easter we were about in a local bar and saw her, he spent ages talking to her and said sorry to me for that cos he thought i was annoyed about it, he also stated that there was 'chemistry between them'. how do i interpret this? whenever she is around he can't take his eyes off her and treats her differently to his other femeale friends, does he fancy her?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 December 2006):
First of all, trust is one thing, but sharing a bed with a woman were there is "chemistry is WRONG. It's outside of what would be considered good judgement. I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled with you doing the same thing.
Could he be attracted to her? Of course. Since he chooses to be with you, he should try and be a little more discreet about his thoughts. The thoughts are not bad or wrong but his actions lack respect for you. We will always meet people we are drawn to. We're built that way. A relationship with your significant other is nothing more than a bond for life with the person who you've chosen to be your partner.
For instance, I have met women who I'm attracted to. Some have had the same feeling for me. They are still in the area wher I live. It's very, very seldom that I ever bump into them. But, when I do, I know in the back of my head, this is a person who finds me " to be to their liking". And, to be honest, it feels good. It also ends there, in my mind, because I'm a married man.
Talk to your guy. Let him know how you feel.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (8 December 2006):
 From your description it's hard to tell who the real girlfriend is here. It sure seems, from an outsiders viewpoint (and your description), that he does fancy her.
Does he tell you how he feels about you? That's the first question I'd be asking him.
Good luck!
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