A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend when she was 16 she cheated on her boyfriend with someone she knew for a whilie now she's 20 with me i wanna know what she did. she told me she jerked him off While he fingered her (which she told me she never liked anyone doing) she said it didn't last long 5 mintues top's. but everytime i bring it up 2 see if the story changed 1 bit. she bite's my head off. " why can't u just get over it " i think can ask question about anything she's done in the past. but she start's fight's everytime i say anything she's done. she's 20 year's old. and done alot of thing's. drug,anal,public sex, cheating now the cheating thing she did it when she was 16 just out of school. and she got with a guy with a big penis (as she keep's saying) and she didn't love him it was just sex. she said she dumped him everynight but he cryed so she got back with him everytime. she's been with 1 other boyfriend and he cheated on her. so she see's it as " what go's around come's around " but i'm not allowed to ask her any question'swhat do u think i sould do? do u think i sould just ignore everything she did in the past and move on or keep pushing her to find out more. i know there's more but she's so scared to tell me i dunno y. but it seem's like she had more fun with her ex's so when she said she had sex in a park for her first time i wanna do it in a park. she think's it because i want to copy what they did no i don't i just wanna try it once 2 see what it's like.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Wow these agony aunts have given you really good advice. Take it.
All I can tell you is that your insecurity is pushing her away! And maybe the reason that she fell for you is because you didn't seem like the rest of the assholes. But you sure are starting to sound like one.
Let your insecurities lie or risk loosing her, if it bugs you maybe you should question why YOU feel that way and if it really, really matters.
You could be the break from her past that she's been wishing for, don't keep reminding her of it.
You sound like a good guy. Work on your strengths not her 'weaknesses'.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 December 2006):
 This isn't about her, this is about you. Your own sexual insecurity is causing you to put your girlfriend in a difficult situation. I understand why you 'want to know', its really understandable and a natural response. But all that will happen is that the more she tells you the more you will want to know, and then the more you will dwell on it and make both yourself and her unhappy. Really the best thing you can do is let it lie for now. Maybe in 6 months when your relationship is going very well you can bring it up again, but not until then. This is the sort of thing than can only be talked about when you are both in a very stable place with each other, and right now it sounds like thats not the case.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (7 December 2006):
 Past is past, her private life before should not matter.
Do you have to justify what you did with others girls before her? Even if you feel comfortable doing this, that is your choice not obligation.
What she did or not did with other people does not matter, it is not a competition. The fact that she is with you and not them should be enough.
Enjoy the present, do not waste it.
xxx
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 December 2006):
Why do you want to measure yourself against all these other people. More specifically why the hell do you care about how many minutes she jerked some guy off for? Think about how crazy that sounds...."Ok, I'll accept you jerked him off...how many minutes did it take? " That's nuts. You say some guy fingered her and she told you she didn't like that. Well, maybe that how she found out she didn't like it.
You say she seems to have had more fun with her ex. At the same time you don't like any of the things she had fun doing. BUT at the same time you're jealous because she won't do the those things with you. You feel slighted becasue she was nasty with another guy but won't be nasty with you.
Here's a question for you. Some woman you dated before really wanted to use a strap on dildo, ON YOU. You let her but absolutley hated it. It hurt and you felt silly doing it. Do you owe every woman you date from now til eternity the same opportunity. According to your standards you must because youlet the first lady do it. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?
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