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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi everyone!I have to have a complete health check-up when I go home, and my mum's probably going to go with me (even though I'm over 20!!). The thing is that I can't tell my parents that I am sexually active, so I'll have to tell the gynaecologist the same, probably, that I'm not. Will she be able to tell though that I am sexually active? Any idea? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): Hi there..I am the original poster. Thank you all for your insight. Whew! I'm relieved to know that the gynae won't tell her anything, and that I should (definitely) ask my mum to wait outside. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but my parents are very conservative, or at least that's what they show me. So much so that when I was 16-17 my mum told me not to talk to guys!! Anyway, that's all beside the point. I just wanted to thank all of you for your help. Hope you all have a great day! :)
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (7 December 2006):
If the gynaecologist was to talk to your mother about you then that would be a severe breach of confidentiality and you would be entitled to make a complaint. I realise you don't want it to come to that but those are the rules the gynae works by so be reassured that it should not happen.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 Hi there,
I agree with the other aunts - just don't let her in the doctor's office with you and let her sit in the waiting room. Plus wouldn't it be rather awkward for her to be in there with you - especially during a gyno exam??
What the doctor and you talk about is totally between the two of you, and your mother doesn't need to know anything about it (doctor-patient confidentiality, you know!). The only thing that you might probably tell her is that things went: fine, okay, at least it's over, etc. :)
And if she does find out that your sexually active somehow, then it's not the end of the world. You're a normal human being with normal wants and needs - she needs to understand that, or at least tolerate it. You are, after all, a grown woman.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 December 2006):
Don't let her go in the doctor's office with you. I can tell you're having a hard timing cutting the cord from your mom. If that weren't true, you'd never even have mentioned yo're going to the doctor. If you continue to give her the impression it's her "place" to be there she'll continue to believe it's true. The longer you give somebody the idea that they're entitled to something, they'll begin gto expect it. Even if they're not really entitled to it in the first place, when you try to take it away, they feel cheated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): You should tell your mom that your physical is a private affair and you'd be obliged if she could leave you be (you're over 20!!!). She can read a magazine in the waiting room, go for a walk around but there's no way she should be there for it. It's a personal thing, visiting the docotor.
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