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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a month and a half. He has been broken up from his girlfriend of 4 years for 2 months. She and her parents still want them to be together and have invited him to dinner this weekend at their house and he is going. I told him it bothers me, but he says he is over her and I have nothing to worry about. He said the parents invited me to go but he feels it would be uncomfortable if I went. I feel he doesn't care about my feelings. Am I over-reacting by being hurt or is it justified? I have know him since we were kids and really care about him. If he goes, should I stay with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): Nope, you're not over-reacting. There's something fishy going on here. Regardless of how fond your b/f may be about his ex-girlfriend's family, he has no business keeping ties with them now that the relationship is over. The fact that he's discouraging you from attending with him, tells me he may be hoping for a reconciliation with his ex. If he cared for you, he'd politely decline their offer and not continue to see them socially without you being there, as his current girlfriend. To me, he has unresolved feelings for his ex. Maybe it's too soon for him to be involved with anyone. You should share your feelings with him. How would he feel if the roles were reversed?.....Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): this is definitly wrong on may levels. especially if his ex is going to be there...some men have no idea and think that our feelings are petty but they are not stand your ground or it will always be this way. if he doesnt want to change then move on you dont have that much time invested in the relationship yet so it will be easier to handle
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 December 2006):
It's wrong, based on your comments that she and the parents still want them to be together. In my eyes, that takes away the possibility of an innocent dinner. They could have a plan. I firmly believe that when the enemy, for lack of a better word, tells you they're the enemy, and youlet your guard down, prepare to be bitten.
Also, your boyfriend really rushed into a new relationship. How did that happen? That would be more of a concern to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): Well i would be pretty miffed off if my fella went to something like this. The ex is in the background and so are her family. Let him know exactly how you feel but don't get upset. Arrange to have a weekend away, just you and him in the future. For the time that he is there i would go out of my way to visit someone or go out with family or friends. Don't sit at home on your own and brood, you will be a wreck by the time he comes back and that can make the situation worse. He might not even go yet!
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): Well i would be pretty miffed off if my fella went to something like this. The ex is in the background and so are her family. Let him know exactly how you feel but don't get upset. Arrange to have a weekend away, just you and him in the future. For the time that he is there i would go out of my way to visit someone or go out with family or friends. Don't sit at home on your own and brood, you will be a wreck by the time he comes back and that can make the situation worse. He might not even go yet!
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): HI
Was he a friend of the family before he got in a relationship.But it still seems a odd sort of situation for him to be put in.The relationship is supposed to be over and he has supposed to of moved on with being with you yet he still feels commitments to his ex and her family.I too would be a bit put out if i was in your shoes and i dont think you are over-reacting about it.I wouldnt go as far as to say he dont care for your feelings but its odvious he has not put your feelings before the parents of the ex.Dont just sit back thinking about it this weekend as that is the worse thing you can do your mind will be saying what if's so get in touch with some friends and arrange to go on a girls night out to try to help you stop thinking about it so much.Also i wouldnt do anything hasty as far as finishing with him goes let the weekend pass and see how things are when the meals over with and see how you feel then and tell him exactally how you feel he deserves to know your feelings and then see if he can make things up with you and see how is loyalty is then.Hope everything works out for you xx
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