| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Is it possible your boyfriend could be fully satisfied with just looking at nude pics or porn? and not have the need to be very intimate with you? Thats the way i feel about my boyfriend right now. He thinks that, that is all i want in the relationship when i ask him for it, but i know clearly that its not. Is he just saying that to use it as an excuse? I thought men couldn't say no to sex, but its happening to me. Well he's not totally not doing that with me but its like i have to initiate it first..u know what i mean? It makes me feel embarressed. How do you know if he is addicted to porn? I feel this is a real bad reject because a nude picture can do better than the real thing. I don't know if this is appropriate on here but i asked him if he 'gets off' from the pictures and he says he doesn't do that kind of thing, should i believe that? I mean how does he get it fullfilled? he says its a mans nature to look at that kind of stuff and he tells me he's interested in looking at it.I know its true for a mans nature, but he doesn't seem to really want it with me anymore. He's making me feel really insecure about that and hopefully the question doesn't turn out to be "where is he 'getting it' from.
View related questions:
addicted to porn, insecure, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, James +, writes (8 December 2006):
Please see my message -http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-a-man-and-im-deeply-concerned.html
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 Men like porn, nothing you can do about it.
Do not initiate for a week of so, this way he does not have it easy on the plate. Make him hungry one day by dressing up in sexy lingerie with high heels.
If that does not work, and assuming that you have talked about it and he still prefers DIY, then find move on and find someone who can make you happy!
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 December 2006):
I think you'r overreacting. This question is usually the other way around. Funny, when it's the woman who doesn't want sex, we're told, as men, we have to do this, that and the other thing to fix it. We're told relationships are not just about sex etc. We're told sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning. We're told women need certain requirements to find themselves in the mood. BUT when you talk about men, you break it down to "I thought men couldn't say no to sex".
To make the leap to the thought that some nude pictures are taking away all his sex drive is extreme. How much porn does he look at? Does he look at a magazine once in a while or does he spend hours a day watching videos? There is a difference. Do you have any sex at all?
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (7 December 2006):
 He may have a problem, Have you asked him ? Men are not all the same and not all of them are raging hard ons 24/7.. He might want to feel loved rather than viewed has a stiffy ? Just a different slant... maybe talk to him, ask him, tell him how you are feeling, dont sit in silence. Men are not machines, they have feelings too when it comes to sex. Maybe get the romance back he could be feeling a bit neglected and expected to perform... try being lovey without the sex, and try and make him feel as though hes a lot more than just sex to you, i know he probably is, but some men do feel insecure too. If it were the other way around and you were not initating it you would expect him to accept it, but when its the man we all think its wierd because they should be sex machines. Have a chat with him, make him feel valued and see if you cant work it out. The first conclusion women come to when a man is off sex, is that he must be looking at too much porn... that isnt always the case... They tend to make it about them and how they feel before asking the man how he feels... if things dont change then you know it was him just taking an easy option, but do chat to him first and find out how hes feeling.
Take care x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): I hear you. After my giving birth all I wanted is a bit of cuddling and playing, because of the incision, but even that I had to initiate. Yes, he's watching nudity and yes I think it satisfies him to such a degree that I've become background. It's almost a month since my giving birth and he has never initiated anything romantic nor sexual and I wonder...
He was present during the birth process, maybe that plays a role. I don't know.
...............................
|
