A
female
 ,
*ixy
writes:first off I'm 17, and he's 22. I have a boyfriend from another country, and of course long distance relationships tend to be hard. but then again. he says he loves me and i say i love him.but i met up with a friend today. who i used to fancy and who still fancies me. we both admitted it on the phone today. the trouble is my boyfriend is jealous because my friend lives near me where's he doesn't. says he should break up with me so i could be with my friend. I tried to say that no, that my boyfriend is the one I care about and only care about in a love kinda way. where's my friend is my friend and i think of him as a brother, i never had.but anyway. is it right for my boyfriend to be jealous? and is it ok for me to keep in touch with my friend?
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female
reader, vixy +, writes (8 December 2006):
vixy is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm very sorry eddie, i do have a two disorders. which are dyslexia and dyspraxia. both of which make life very difficult for me. basically what i was trying to say is that i was confused at it. and that the boy was trying to have a relationship with another girl. but i may have forgotten to put that. i do forget to put a few things down. but anyway, hope it clears it up.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 December 2006):
 I'd like to add one thing. I think you're being naive. This is why your boyfriend is concerned. You state that the other guy and yourself are "just good friends". What kind of "good friend" would disrespect your relationship with your boyfriend by putting you on the spot like that. What did your "good friend" expect you to do with the information that, as you said yourself, "he still facnies me." You said it. He still likes you. So, he doesnt' want to be your good friend. If he wanted to be your good friend, he would have said so. That's not what he said.
You have to be honest with yourself. THE GUY LIKES YOU. He's not looking for a pal, he's looking for a girlfriend. You're probably enjoying the attention to some degree. That doesn't make you bad but you should be aware of what the situation actually is.
Your boyfriend is jealous because he feels helpless becasue of the distance. He knows you're enjoying the comapny of a guy who would like to be your boyfriend and went as far as telling you. You may not want to be his girlfriend but by keeping company with him, he has false hope. What is hurting your guy is this, he knows you're aware of what the other guy wants and you're ignoring it.
Your good friend let the genie out of the bottle when he told you his feelings. If he really repected you and your boyfriend, he would have kept them to himself. He's thinkng about himself and his wishes.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (7 December 2006):
This is eddie again. You said in your post you were talking on the phone with a guy about the fact there were/are feelings between the two of you. THAT is an odd topic for someone to be having if they're in a relationship with someone else. How did that conversation begin?
Also, my reading is not the problem. It more likely your punctuation, or lack of it.
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A
female
reader, vixy +, writes (7 December 2006):
vixy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmaybe i should say that i used to fancy him, my attention is only to my boyfriend now.
and don't think don't know what it's like to be jealous.
my boyfriend himself, went to a concert with two girls. one of which had a strong relationship with him in the past, and she tried to kiss him.
and I'm not the one that stops talking to people just because a boyfriend doesn't like it. he has many female friends who, some fancy him and some don't.
and i have many male friends.
trust is always an issue in long distance.
and to the person that says it might not work. I'm sorry but i think your wrong. because we're still going strong.
we have known each other for 5 years, friends before being with each other.
we're stronger now then ever.
and to eddie, it's my buisness and if you read it right. i said i liked him but now i think of him as a friend. now we're just good friends.
deardolly:
actually one of my male friend's is jealous of my boyfriend. but then again it's because there was always my female friend, my male friend and I and now that i got a boyfriend it's changed that.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (7 December 2006):
I think your boyfriend has every reason to be jealous. For the previous Aunt to say men are more jealous is wrong. You say yourself, that you were talking to this other guy on the phone today. You were talking abou the fact that you "fancy eachother". What business do you have, talking to another man about how much you like eachother when you say you're committed to the other guy. While your feeling maybe real, that conversation is going nowhere good and I'd be upset too if my wife was carrying on with some guy and they both liked eaachother. It's a step in the wrong direction. Having said that, what are the chances of your long distance relationship working out? Maybe that is the real problem.
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A
female
reader, DearDolly +, writes (7 December 2006):
 Its completely normal for your boyfriend to be jealous of your friend. And probably will be jealous of any male friends you will have.
Men are more insecure than women. Fact.
Your boyfriend is probably confused because he can't be there for you all the time and thinks you'll turn to your male friend.
Explain that its him that you want to be with and your friend is like a brother to you and nothing would ever happen. He probably won't believe you first of all but keep resuring him.
Good luck.
Dolly.x
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