A
female
age
51-59,
*ibi cortez
writes:A woman on myspace was sending my husband emails. She would tell him how she would like to meet him. One day he went to a local computer store to email her and in the email he gave her his work phone number so she could call him. He changed his password. I managed to get his password. I emailed the girl and we did a three way call to his work. He told her that we were having arguments all the time and things were not going good. He agreed to meet her at 8:00am at the gym he goes to. And from there they would go to her house. When he got home I told him we had to take our son to his dr's appointment at 8:00am. he was so mad saying he hates dr's offices and he was not going to go and that he had already promised his male friend he was going to go to the gym with him. I could not believe what he was saying. I felt so hurt. I asked him several time if he rather go to the gym than to take his son to the dr. he even asked me to reschedule his appointment. I confronted him about it and told him that I knew everything. And that I heard the whole conversation. He said he was not going to do anything with her that he just wanted to see who she was. Do you think this is cheating?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): I don't think that he is or was cheating on you... I think that he may not feel as though you think that he is attractive to you anymore and that has made him go outside to find flirting and acceptance. Lets face it, if he thinks that you dont want him then he will find someone that does want him. Im am not saying that what he doing is right. I am saying that in some way he feels as though he doesn't belong anymore.
The truth is in a relationship, you can not manage the relationship you can only manage your "SELF"... please dont let your SELF get out of control.
Talk to him about it... tell him you have gone to all extremes to make things work... including getting his password... It sounds like you still love him... let him know that...
A
female
reader, bibi cortez +, writes (3 April 2007):
bibi cortez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell guys i packed all his cloths.put them in trash bags and send him out the door. he keeps asking me to forgive him.that he just wanted to know who she was. Right then why go threw all the trouble of sneeking.What if i didn't find out i bet he would have gone to her house.I'll just make him think about what he has done. I know what i need to do but i just can't let go. I know our marriage is over.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (3 April 2007):
 I'm sorry honey, but I think he was planning to cheat on you. There's really no other reason to go to some woman's house you don't even know, especially when he's trying to hide all this from you. I wouldn't trust him whatsoever. His intentions were everything but good. If you want to stay with this guy, you guys must communicate better with eachother. If he's not happy, ask him why and what needs to be done. Let him know that his behavior is unacceptable and that if he wants to stay with you, he now, has to prove himself to you. Has he done this before? You won't even know. But it's possible if he wanted to do this now. Just be careful and make the best decision for yourself. If you suspect anything happening again, I would suggest to just kick him to the curb. You can do better!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, elsie  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 how utterly horrible.so the minute youve got problems hes arranging secret meetings with an unknown women.the fact he put this before your sons hospital app.is sickening enough.why wasnt he embarrased saying hes goin to the gym?you should have let him go and changed all the locks.but honey i know how you feel.the waves of nause,the desperation,the tears.believe me youll have a lot more of those emotions every day for the duration if you stay with this man.he sounds utterly callous putting her before his own son.i know someone just like that and he hasnt changed in 10yrs!!!!i think thats the bit that would have killed me the most.oh well curiosity killed the cat and hes now getting his just desserts.make him pay and let him figure out how to get you back.when you have to tell someone how to treat you its no good.stand back and watch how he deals with how to win you back.youll soon know if his heart is in the right place but dont hold your breath.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (3 April 2007):
 He got caught, of course hes not going to admit to cheating is he....
Why would he want to meet up with her in secret, lie to you the whole way along if he wasnt intending to cheat ? Was he just going to be meeting another women, for coffee and a chat and neglect to tell you he was doing this for what reason ? Because its not as innocent as he says it is!!
He has done this all behind your back.... and lied to you to save face. His intention was not good to start with and he thinks he can save his arse by saying hey its alright she's just a women I wanted to chat to! If you hadnt have found out.. I bet you any money he would have taken things a whole lot further with her!
What you do now is up to you... Its going to take alot to get the trust back that hes just thrown in your face.. He's got to earn it back and hes got to prove to you he made a mistake or else I think his days could be numbered!
Take care
x x
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 Let's see....he lied about another woman, lied about where he was going and why, planned to go to her house, went to a different location to email her, changed his password, gave his work number.....I'd say Y E S !!! That's cheating. Just to top it off, he'd rather go see her than get his son to the doctor. You have problems here. Do not believe anything he tells you as he's a liar.
What prompted you to snoop through his email? You already suspected something...correct?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): I don’t know if he has cheated, but I think he was planning to. I’m afraid that everything you have wrote sounds like an man who is clearly capable of cheating. I think you need to scare him by leaving him… don’t let him think that you can work this out just by talking!! Leave him and let him beg for your return… then in future he’ll think twice before planning to meet another woman… (it will cost him is marriage and child) I know it must hurt but you need to pack your things and leave, you don’t have to leave for good… just long enough to scare him.Take Care
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A
female
reader, Silence is Golden +, writes (3 April 2007):
well in my eyes that is cheating. Even though he hasnt actually done anything yet, alone to arrange to meet her and go back to her house is as good as cheating. Its betraying your trust that you have in him. If the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldnt like it either. You both need to sit down and talk about the problems in your marriage. He is obviously not happy and neither are you. I wish you the best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): It's simple. He agreed to go to her house. Did you think that was for a cup of tea? If only for the lying and dishonesty, its a major breach of trust, but this seems to indicate that your man really wanted to have sex with another woman, ad put a plan in action. To me, your two best options are to seek councelling if you have any intention of trying to salvage the relationship, but if it were me in your position, I would already be out the door.
Good luck!
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