A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all!I was recently engaged a couple of months back and have been going crazy ever since. When I go out drinking I really over do it to coinside with feeling out of control. It also helps me NOT to wear my engagement ring. I am not sure with what is going on inside. Has any one gone though this? He is the nicest guy in the world and I love him to death! We have been together for many years! I just don't understand why I am feeling and acting so strange as of late?!?! Has anyone gone though this?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 April 2007):
 Most women are over the moon when they get the engagement ring and certainly proud to show it off. Since we don't know you it's hard to guess why you don't wear it although I'll say it's probably uncommon.
You can never change how you feel when you meet an attractive person. You can not stop an urge. What you control are your actions. That is marriage. It's not what ideas or thoughts cross your mind, it's about dedication and the concept of honoring a pact you've made to share your life with another person.
If that doesn't sound appealing to you, don't get married. If you can't imagine yourself behaving like a married person, don't get married.
Here's a big question, have you kissed another man since becoming engaged?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): OK, my apologies. I was just going with the info I had. Let's take the binge drinking. How long has this been a factor? Had it begun before the engagement...or started after? This is important. If it has become a problem since the "ring", then all of my previous post still stands. If it has been an activity from before, then it is a problem on its own. This is something I could go on at great length about,...but I can't here. This is something that requires deep self-counseling, or a professional counselor. You must decide. But, I do understand...and you have my best wishes. Tom
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): You love the "nicest guy in the world", but you really turn on the taps when you go out by yourself. And you take the ring off. Hmm....Maybe you are not that sure about marrying Mr. Nice Guy (?) Or you are sure, but you want to make sure you haven't "missed out" on anything before you do. (?) See? I am putting a lot of question marks down. Have you seriously asked yourself these questions? Do you think there is something in the bar/club scene that you won't be able to have anymore when (if) you are married? Well, no, you won't,..not as a single gal. Is Mr. Nice not into partying? At all? I think you need to have along talk with yourself. Are you really ready for monogamy and all that goes with it? It is better to know and be sure before you make the commitment that "ring" means. Without the ring, you are saying to any interesting male that you are "available". If you have any doubts that you might not be able to commit yourself the way any future husband would expect you to, you should break the engagement and wait until you are sure. You may lose Mr. Nice, but that is part of the price. Better to hurt a healable heart now than to break one completely later. Understand what i am saying? And your own heart would suffer as well. That is, if you have one, and I am assuming you do, or you would not be asking what the "right" thing to do is. (wink) Think hard and be honest with yourself. You can then be honest with anyone else. Best wishes. Tom
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): this post is wrong!
I didn't say that I take off my engagement ring to go drinking! I don't wear it 80% of the time. A seperate problem than bindge drinking!
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