A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:DearCupid,I am in love with a married man. When we met, I was married but very much separated (my ex husband moved in with another woman 2 weeks later). He told me he was married but separated too, and we dated and fell in love. He would always come to my house because he didn't want his wife to know he was already seeing someone else. He is now living is his own house, but it is 5 minutes away from their marital home where she now lives on her own. I have drive past his old home a few times, and noticed that his car was there! On Valentines day he was there. I told him that I saw his car there on valentines day and that I had lost my trust in him. He said he never lied as he goes to the old house occasionally - but Valentines Day!! I told him I wasn't going to see him anymore until he sorted out whatever was going on. Well this upset him, he says that he missed me like crazy and that he only loves me, and wants to be with me. Now he is saying that it might take a few months to fully sort out his life, his marriage etc. He knows I want a real relationship and to be introduced as his partner, but says if we wait a couple of months then we can do it properly and not upset his ex wife. He also feels guilty and has had a couple of recent arguments with her. I don't want to be a mistress, so will not see him just in case, but I am also very much in love with this man and am not sure what to do. I have tried dating others but just think of him. He has promised that he is not playing games, that he loves me more than ever and that he thinks about me constantly. He says, 'why would I bother talking to you every single day for 2 hours if I didn't intent to sort out my life fully and see you again really soon to start a real relationship?'. I told him I would wait 3 months then move on without him. He sounded really upset, like I was giving him an ultimatum (which i guess it is) and skirted around the issue, hinting that maybe it will be more than 3 months. What is a girl supposed to do??? I never ring him, I don't pressure him...but if he's not on my doorstep in 3 months what do I do?
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ex-wife, fell in love, his ex, married man, mistress, move on, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): hey he's lying 2u . u shld noe better than 2 wait 4 him. actions always spaek louder than words. always. love is primarily an activity not a feelin. we show others that we still care 4 them in comparison to jus feelin it n hopin miraculously they understand. he's there om valentines day !! how much more do u need to cry? he lied to u !! more than once !!! he broke his word!! y r we women constantly lookin 4 a man 2 fil up de void in our life ? fill urself up so u come 2 ur relationship as a whole person not lookin 4 completion fr any1 but urself .. as 4 him ..buyin time isnt gd .. clearly he's not sure how he feels .. u dont need some1 who isnt sure .. wut happens if he isnt sure after u get married n decides to head back to his ex's? not worth de heart ache ..
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 If there are no children in his marriage then it's rather strange that he is spending so much time with the wife he wants to divorce. Maybe his marriage isn't as over as you think. However it is never wise to rush into another commitment right after a divorce. Maybe the both of you need time to do some thinking? Just a thought.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Why don't yo just do what he asks? What's the rush? If what he's saying is true, it makes sense.
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