A
male
,
anonymous
writes: theres this girl i've been seeing for about a month who i am crazy about. she says she loves me and wants to be with me.the problem is that she is really flirty with guys and is always being pursued and sleazed over by them. i've been in relationships before with no trust and jealousy and they dont work so i'm trying my hardest to not let it affect me but its difficult sometimes.also to make things worse, her ex-boyfriend is coming back into town after being away for the last couple of months and she says she doesnt know how shes gonna feel when he comes back. this tells me she must still have feelings for him. i really dont want to become too invested in this relationship if i'm gonna get hurt or shes gonna go back to her ex but at the same time i dont want to lose her. what can i do?
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (10 April 2007):
Guys are always going to chase after women. It all depends on how she takes it that determines if she's a flirt or a respectable marrying type. If she soaks it up like a sponge then you'll always worry. How do you know guys are always chasing her around. Are you looking too closely?
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (10 April 2007):
You've got to gauge your own tolerance for your girl's behavior. She apparently likes the attention of a lot of guys, and it is really unlikely that she will ever give that up. Can you live with that on an ongoing basis? If not, you would do better to get out now before you invest too much of yourself in this relationship.
Her ex is another story. Here you are facing the very real prospect that you might get dumped, and she's not willing to give you any reassurances that she will stay with you.
Frankly, you're going to need an unreasonable amount of luck and a lot of nerve to get through this well. I don't think I could do it. If I were in your position, I'd prefer the heartache of a breakup now to the never ending uncertainty that staying with this woman is certainly going to cost you. But only you can decide if the prize that you MIGHT get, her, is worth all the pain you will have to go through for your chance at what she offers.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (10 April 2007):
I'm with you brother. It sounds like youre younger than me, so if you are let me tell you it doesnt get easier. Either she likes you or she doesnt. But, dont give her an ultimatum like that. The best thing you could do is tell her the way you feel. But just know that you may not be around forever. You MAY lose her. And it will hurt. But you will recover and realize you did the right thing
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