A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, never used anything like this before, so here's my situation, i'm currently unemployed, and thus due to a lack of money I find it difficult to go out, do new things, and more importantly, meet new people. what would be the best advice of meeting people and hopefully finding a girlfriend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): Sign up for a college course. You meet tons of people and also gain better qualifications at the same time. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): As well as all the other suggestions, I find it fun to play tourist in my home town. Set yourself a budget and go out for the day. Make sandwiches and choose activities that are free or cheap. Maybe you won't meet new people, but it will get you outside having fun and doing things.
http://www.visitsunderland.com/home.asp
http://www.sunderlandevents.co.uk/
Also check out some of the programmes on the BBC and Channel4 which give tips on dating, fashion and learning to feel confident. Gok Man - "How to look good naked" (channel 4), Trisha and Suzanne, "What to wear2 (BBC), and various other programmes are very good. They seem to be about clothes, and they may be targeted at women, but they are suitable for men, and they are actually about getting yourself more confidence and self esteem, no matter how much money you have. Clothes are only a trick to make you feel better about yourself. Get a diary and start filling it up with the things you plan to do and see. Make every day an exciting one. Challenge yourself, start putting yourself forward, as a person worthy of happiness and love.... The same techniques you use for finding friends and lovers are the same techniques that will help you land a job.
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A
male
reader, notanonymousbutclose +, writes (15 January 2009):
Thanks for the further replies, to answer the annonymous females question, i'm from the north east - sunderland to be precise :)
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A
female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (15 January 2009):
That's what I was going to suggest - volunteer work. Mostly women do it, so you'll be surrounded. Even if most or all of the other volunteers are married, you'll still get practice interacting with members of the opposite sex, and there will be no pressure if they're married, for they're not available, right? When they find out you're single, they may even try to matchmake and hook you up with one of their single gf's...you never know what doors may open. And, by networking with them while doing the volunteer activities, you may even be able to find a job through one of them. All the while, you'll be giving something back to the community and society, and it should ultimately make you feel good about yourself, if nothing else.
When I was younger, I was very shy (I don't know if you are shy or not). Something I tried which helped bring me out of my shell and allowed me to meet new people was participating in a community (non-professional) theatrical production. I didn't feel comfortable with trying out for a lead part, so I would just join the chorus, which consisted of members of both sexes. If you don't want to be on stage at all, there are plenty of other behind-the-scenes roles you could help with, such as stagehand. It's free, it's fun, it's interesting, and a great way to meet new people! Again, you may find that through this network of people involved in the production, that you are able to find work through one of them.
Good luck, enjoy, have fun, and be yourself!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): Your from the UK, good so am I... Don't know where you are, but there are tons of ways to connect with people. London has a big dating scene going on in the supermarket. Museums and art galleries are free, so is the park, but it's cold right now. Church if you like religion is always friendly. Libraries run book clubs. I'm not sure where you live, and if I knew I would give you better advice. Look up details of your local council on the internet. They always have details of events that are going on. Most councils have some money put aside to throw community events and most times these are free. Voluntary work is always good to get new skills and meet new people. Again, contact your local council to see what is available in your area. If your healthy, unemployed doesn't mean useless. There are tons of organisations and groups that you can join for little money at all. Your not too old, so maybe check out what is available near the colleges and universities. Again, a huge clubbing scene goes on there, and they also have various clubs and sporting activities you can join. These are usually cheap, because students have little money. Leisure centres and sports activities are also cheap, especially if your unemployed. Hopefully, something in this list will ring a bell. Also check out the Princes Trust, they love to help young people under 25.... wish I was under 25 again, there is so many things to do, and so many people out there who are willing to help you. Good luck, get busy finding new activities and friends.
PS: The pub scene isn't that good any more. They have mostly closed down, or are too expensive if your unemployed. Coffee houses like Starbucks are the places to find girls. Start flirting with everyone and anyone, sooner or later, somebody will say yes, but it will help you to get courage and to be brave. Who cares if the women say no at first, you don't know them, you'll never see them again.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 January 2009):
 Oh, okay, just read the earlier postings. Kind of confusing about who is who. If talking with or dealing with girls is problematic, that is quite a different issue. My suggestion is to post the issue correctly and some of us will offer response.
The key is to act confident, even if you don't feel like it, smile some, and don't talk too much. Smile with you eyes while thinking naughty thoughts, but don't be creepy. Act like you have a secret. It will still help if you get a job doing something. LOL I need to visit the local pub now . . .
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 January 2009):
Well I mean well, but really, there must be something a guy in his early 20s can do in Great Britain to haul in a few bucks. I've had some recent challenges in Texas, but I've always figured that if absolutely necessary, I could tend bar at a local honky-tonk. LOL Plenty of them here. That would certainly freak most everyone I've ever known, but when you have to, you do what you have to do. Right? Besides, you could likely meet plenty of gals at a pub. Come on guys, do something productive. ;-)
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A
male
reader, notanonymousbutclose +, writes (15 January 2009):
may as well post with the account i've just registered, well when it come to "online" i'm quite good socially, it's just face-to-face where I tend to get rather shy. i've always had the problem of not knowing what to say to girls i've fancied.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): And you make it sound so easy ;) given the state of the country at the moment, and my own personal qualifications or lack of, I don't see that happening any time soon - despite all my best efforts, I've been single for 5 years now, and being alone is not helping either my confidence or my depression.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 January 2009):
It may sound blunt, but my best advice would be to first get a job.
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