A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf left her Facebook acc open in my cellphone. I read a conversation where she tells her exbf in brazil she is gonna go visit him. We've been together for almost 6 months. I talked to her about this when we went out first and she said she wasnt gonna keep in touch with this guy. On top of that, my exgf did the same to me. Any thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): I think you may have been a rebound guy and now that she worked things up with her ex she won't need you. If you think you can't take being dumped then dump her instead. I think it's pointless to even confront her because she already made up her mind.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): You have only been together six months. She isn't over him.
She is secretly staying in-contact with her ex. She lied to you she wouldn't, and now has plans to visit him in Brazil. That's a long trip, and he must mean a lot to her to jeopardize what she has with you.
You are in a rebound-relationship. You baby-sat for her feelings; while she pined for her ex-boyfriend. Your job is done, and her ex-boyfriend is back in her life.
You have no choice but to let her go.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2015):
 I have to ask how long ago did she break up with this guy, and ARE they actually exes or still dating?
I would not be OK with this.
If a persons says, I have no contact with or reason to contact the ex, and then does it behind my back? Not cool and not a person one can trust.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 March 2015):
 It's a good thing you were only with her for six months. Break up with her - she kept in touch with the ex behind your back. She's planning to meet him behind your back. This is what she really thinks of you.
Do not let her talk her way out of this. Break up.
As for your ex doing the same thing as this woman, we call this a pattern. When someone is attracted to or dates someone with similar traits, what is their commonality? That's what you need to ask yourself.
A woman who dates abusive men tends to go toward ultra-passionate jealous guys with high drama...a guy who dates gold diggers tends to find them in a certain location. Are you dating women who are WITH their boyfriends when they date you, only to "break up" when they meet you?? Some guys tend to get off on making women break up with other men they feel they are competing with.
Start asking the tough questions and change up the type of women you're finding.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): I would give her the chance to tell the truth before reacting.
Unless you have a long-distance relationship or something, it shouldn't be too easy for her to sneak away to another continent like that. If she proceeds to set up a trip to see him and gives you some bullshit excuse for where she's going then you've got her dead-to-rights.
Or you could just bring this discovery to her attention & ask for an explanation (read: force the scene and break up with her now). This is perfectly reasonable for you to do as well.
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