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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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She's left to study overseas, and now I can't help wondering if she's going to get drunk and disorderly when she's away...
Q. I need help. My girlfriend recently left for study abroad. We have been dating for 6 months and she is continuously partying and going out with other people in groups. I really miss her and don't really want her to get drunk and do anything with ...
A. 24 January 2006: This is hard for you I am sure, but this does not mean she has forgotten you. She is only away for 6 months. Whilst she is away is there anything you can do to help you not obsess about what she is doing quite so much? Have you been in touch with ... (read in full...)
I'm bored and lonely-so should I call up this nerdy guy I broke up with?
Q. I broke up with this guy I was seeing for 3 months because I he's kind of a little too nerdy. but we did connect and I did have a lot of fun with him. well it's 3 months later and now I want to get in touch with him again, I think maybe because no ...
A. 24 January 2006: Don't call this guy hurt him again, that wouldn't be in the slightest bit fair. 3 months isn't very long, I would suggest you go out and make a life for yourself which doesn't need a bf to hold it up!
Anyway, who says he would have you back, do y... (read in full...)
One day he's taking me out for a meal... The next he's dumping me by text. Where next?
Q. Please help. I am really distraught following a split with my boyfriend of six months at the weekend. Last week, he asked me to go abroad with him, told me he loved me, we went out for a meal and I thought everything was going great. Then suddenly ...
A. 24 January 2006: Hi there
Stop contacting him, stop chasing him, don't even text him. Start to get your life together by finding new friends and ignoring what this guy is getting up too. Before you know it you will stop thinking about him every minute, it will... (read in full...)
I need him but he's jealous and threatening and he wants me to have his child...help!
Q. I'm 15 years old.. And I met and fell in love with a 22 year old. He never asked me to have sex.. It was my choice to give it to him. Now that were sexually involved he talks about me havin his child.. And he does things like take the condom off ...
A. 23 January 2006: Please do not stay with this controlling excuse for a human being a minute longer. Is there anybody you acn speak to who will help you, by this I mean an expeienced "grown-up". I don't mean to be patronising so please dont take it that way. You ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has an erection??
Q. heya i am 16 and i want to know how i know if my 16 year old boyfriend has an erection around me. if we hug or kiss or something how do i know if he has an erection without asking him cos i dont really wanna ask him ha ha. is there any signs li...
A. 23 January 2006: Sweetheart, you will know. By the expression on his face, by the heavy breathing and by the constant need to adjust his pants. try not do get to heavy whilst at the gym, or in the swimming pool 'cos then not only you will know he has an erection, ... (read in full...)
He's had so many lovers...what if a long lost child of his sudenly turns up?
Q. My boyfriend has slept with over 100 women in the last 10 years (which I think is really bad, but that's another issue!) Anyway, the other day I was asking him questions about his past and he told me that probably about 90 of these were ...
A. 23 January 2006: Hi sweetie
Please dont live your life with a *what-if* hanging over your head. If you love him then you may have to accept this as somthing that may ahppen in the future, but the chances are slim. Anyway this is something you cannot do anyh... (read in full...)
I get so sore...
Q. hi im 19 and have only had sex about 4 times with the same partner, aftwards i get really sore for about a hour, is this normal or is there anyway to stop it? please help...
A. 23 January 2006: Hi there
chances are you are still nervous when making love so you are not properly "lubricated". If this is the case it can cause stinging and irritation when you ahve sex if you are dry. Ask your sexual partner to slow down and spend more time... (read in full...)
I'd really rather not discuss my sexual past with my wife, but she insists on details and it's hurting both of us!
Q. I am married 8 mounths to a great woman. She is truly a great wife. We are in our second marriages, mine a 20 year and hers was 15. She has 3 children, I have 3 and we have one on the way between us both. Great life, right? But when it comes to...
A. 23 January 2006: You both need to stop this now before it destroys your relationship. But that is easier said than done, and things that have been said can't be unsaid.
Firstly understand this about the majority of females, they have a compulsive need to comm... (read in full...)
Been checking her call logs, and I know she's lying to me. But I can't point it out without admitting I've been snooping...
Q. Hello. I've been in relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months now. I realize I have insecurity issues, and they are the underlying reason why I do things like what I'm about to relate. In the past, I've discovered evidence that my girlfri...
A. 23 January 2006: Whoa this is awkward,
Firstly it looks like something is going on, she is acting in what looks like a deceitful manner, but then so are you. Whilst it may be far-fetched there is still a chance, however small, that she may not be doing anyh... (read in full...)
My husband is cold, tetchy and always has to have the last word. I'm so unhappy!
Q. I am very unhappy in my marriage. My husband is cold and we have no physical contact, not even a hug from him. He is hardly ever in the wrong. He seems to take great delight in outwitting me in conversations and always has to have the last word. ...
A. 22 January 2006: Do you still love your husband? Has he always been like this? When did things start to go wrong?
You need professional help. Marriage counselling very often works, especially if your husband will not sit down and talk to you. If you try to talk... (read in full...)
My wife and I had a wild fight on New Year's Eve and ended up in court. Will things ever be the same between us?
Q. on new years eve i had a wild fight with my wife and we both ended up in court. we have only spoken tywice since and she blames me for everything. Will we get back together ? Or should struggle against the pain and let her go....
A. 22 January 2006: Sorry to hear of your troubles, but fights can get out of hand and arguments can degenerate into violence. These things happen, especially if you have two volatile personalities involved.
If you are even considering getting back together you will... (read in full...)
My boyfriend talks to girls from his past online. Now he says it's "his way or the highway"... !
Q. I`m in an relationship with my boyfriend. Who goes online and wants to talk to women from his past. I`m really bothered by this, But he thinks there is nothing wrong with it. He says it`s all about trust. I`m not allowed to show him affection around ...
A. 22 January 2006: Oh My God!
I am in no way a man-hater, but sack him. You deserve better and he has already declared himself single to all intents and purposes. Why sit around waiting for him to dunp you? Do you want to be a victim? You need to get in there firs... (read in full...)
Should I tell her the truth about my scar?
Q. Ok heres the thing. a few months ago my uncle died and i had trouble dealing with this. as a result i slit my wrist leaving me with a nasty scar. i never told anyone. the other day in school my best friend noticed it and could tell what i had done ...
A. 22 January 2006: Your scar is personal to you, and if you tell her why it is there who is to say she won't tell anyone else. And if she does can you live with that or the teasing/ bullying that may come after?
If she is any type of friend then if you tell her (whe... (read in full...)
He's 34-I'm 16..he wants to take me out for my birthday...provided I give him my virginity!
Q. i really like this guy i work with he's 34 im 16. he's always flirting with me and has offered to take me out for my birthday as long he can take my virginity. i really want him too, but im worried about what people might say. he makes me feel s...
A. 22 January 2006: NO NO NO
I am 34 and it would be obscene for me to consider telling a 16 year old yes I will buy you dinner on the grounds that I can abuse you! Which is what it is!
Losing your virginity should not be seen as a payment for a dinner date. And you... (read in full...)
My GF likes to give -- but not receive -- oral. I just want to please her like she does me!
Q. My girlfriend who I've been with for six months acts a little strange about oral sex. She has no problem giving it to me, but she won't let me go down on her. She says it's just nasty. I would like to be able to please her the way she does me. What ...
A. 22 January 2006: Hi there
There is plenty you can do to help your GF learn to enjoy OS. But remember you cannot force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.
Try bathing or showering together before you have sex as maybe she has issues with personal cleanlin... (read in full...)
I'm 50 and I'm having erection problems...need some advice.
Q. dear sir or madam. i am a 50 yr old man. and have met thr girl of my dreams. i love her to bits and plan to marry her. at the morment i am having erection problems and it is really getting me down. can you help me??...
A. 22 January 2006: Hi there
The first thing you must do is identify when you are having these problems? And, have you ever had them before?
If this is the first time you have suffered with erection trouble chances are it may be linked to how you view your girlfrie... (read in full...)
Nervous about losing my virginity...will he fit in me?
Q. Dear Cupid, never done this before so here goes... I am a 19 yr old virgin and am beginning a relationship. I am really nervous about losing my virginity as I don't know what to expect. I get worked up about if he will fit in me as when I ...
A. 21 January 2006: Two pieces of advice for you..... 1. Tell him you are inexperienced. 2. Think about this, a baby gets out, he will have no problem getting in. Good luck and enjoy yourself x... (read in full...)
My husband regularly looks at pornographic images of women being tortured! Is there something wrong with him?
Q. My husband uses scary s and m porn daily, has sex with me a couple of times a month. He's always had porn stashes. A couple of years ago I installed a "spy" type of software, checking up on my teenager. What I found was that my husband daily looks ...
A. 21 January 2006: Oh boy! You really do have a dilemma! This is difficult, in your situation I would confront hubby and ask him straight what he gets out of this. If his answer leaves you feeling "creeped out" I think you may have to look long and hard at getti... (read in full...)
No self-confidence and I'm a virgin at 25. Where do I start?
Q. Hi, Got a good question. I am 25 and I am a virgin. A pure virgin. Never been kissed, Never had a girlfriend. I have a low self confidence since been bullied at school and I've just watch "The 40 Year Old Virgin". It was very uncomfor...
A. 21 January 2006: Sweetheart, you don't need counselling. You are anormal bloke. Don't listen to the media or watch films which take the p*ss out of people, they are cruel about people who don't conform to the so called NORM. You need to build your circle of frien... (read in full...)
Went limp - thrice! - when I lost my virginity... Could masturbation have been to blame?
Q. I am 20 years old, and am worried about what happened when I lost my virginity last night. I went limp during intercourse 3 times. I was able to last for a few good minutes between times going limp. The first time it happened was when we changed ...
A. 21 January 2006: You have nothing to fear, masturbation does not cause impotence in any way shape or form. If anyhting it can actually help you last longer! The situation was probably so stressful your body reacted to it in the only way it knew how *by withdraw... (read in full...)
I helped her out... So should I *ask* her out!?
Q. I am 25, shy and a virgin. I feel I would like to ask a female co-worker out but unsure if she has any interest in me at all. My crush started when she dropped papers on the floor and I helped her pick them up - a few weeks later I dropped so...
A. 21 January 2006: Well at least she knows who you are by sight! If you stop her and just ask her out and she turns you down you will be mortified forever. You need to find a way of starting a conversation with her other than the obligatory hello. Have you thoug... (read in full...)
Slept with a colleague at the Xmas party. Should I mention it again?
Q. I slept with a colleague after the xmas party...bit of a cliche I know. There had been flirting and chemistry between us for a while and it just happened I guess. He has a girlfriend and is now acting really off with me in comparison to before ...
A. 21 January 2006: Oh what a horribly awkward situation, but you need to be the grown-up here and confront the situation head on. Obviously you like him, or the situation would never have arisen in the first place and the same goes for him. But he obviously feels ... (read in full...)
Any good gift ideas for an aspiring musician?
Q. Hey, I love this site because it gives GREAT help and I've posted many other questions too. Besides the point.. Helloo Cupids!, I'm having trouble finding my boyfriend a gift(he's my first boyfriend)..I want to get him one that has meaning. On...
A. 21 January 2006: Hi there My family are all talented musicians, but the talent gene passed me by!! So I asked them what would they like? I gota couple of replies... What is his favourite piece of music? Or what piece of music is there that is *special* for th... (read in full...)
We have great sex, but she's so possessive with me around her friends that I want to finish with her!
Q. Hi I'm 32yrs old going out with a 49yr old lady. We do have great sex. She even insists on dressing up for me, which is good, but she's extremely possessive when her friends talk to me. Should I finish it?...
A. 21 January 2006: HI there Is your lady friend aware of her behaviour? Have you asked her why she behaves this way? Obviously she has some deeper issues of jealousy and abandonment going on, but this isn't good for you if it makes you uncomfortable. Is your rel... (read in full...)
My family just can't come to grips with my choice to use my maiden name, even though I'm married...
Q. I've got a real problem with my family members. I got divorced some time ago and made sure the divorce judgement specified that I would return to using my maiden name. Again and again I've told my family members that I am using my maiden name and ...
A. 20 January 2006: Your family obviously have issues with your change(s) of name. Have you confronted them and asked them why exactly? Then when they have had their say you can calmly sit and state your wishes. If they still do not comply there is nothing further ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and watches porn.
Q. My husband has been lying to me, watching porn alone and has had a affair. what is wrong? ...
A. 18 January 2006: Your problem is really two problems. The most important one is, I feel, the issue of the affair. Have you sat down and discussed why the affair happened? You should probably consider marriage/relationship guidance counselling to come to terms ... (read in full...)
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