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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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In love with my husband's friend... Was this "gaze" a sign?
Q. I'm married and I'm in love with my husband's friend. Last time I saw him I just couldn't take my eyes off him till he looked at me and we made a very strong, long eye contact. I had never looked into someone's eyes like that before. The gaze was ...
A. 7 March 2006: A person with a concience, aint many of those on here. (lol)
Look, chance are yes this guy has some feelings for you and has held them in check whilst you have been with your husband. \it certainly sounds that way from what you have said. It may ... (read in full...)
I think he spiked my drink and now I'm pregnant!
Q. I am 16 and I started going out with boys when I was 14. Up to about 3 months ago I was a virgin although I did not mind boys doing anything else to me, I would not let them go all the way. Anyway, last December I went out with a new boy to a dis...
A. 7 March 2006: God bothers united. You can prove anything you want by quoting the bible, and I mean ANUTHING. Guilt is not what she came for she came for advice.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to want him to leave the workplace where he had his 5-month affair?
Q. My husband confessed to a 5 month affair with a much younger woman. I am trying so hard to forgive and forget but I cannot get it out of my head that he betrayed and lied so much to me. He has been off work on sick leave now for 3 months, since ...
A. 6 March 2006: Honey, you have done NOTHING at all to feel ashamed about. He has betrayed you not the other way round. Hold your head high.x... (read in full...)
My fantasies make me think I'm bi-curious. What should I do?
Q. How come that whenever my man is peforming oral sex on me I fantasize about women? I can only ever achieve an orgasm at the thought of having sex with woman. I don't think I'm gay, but I'm very bi-curious. What should I do?...
A. 6 March 2006: This is a fantasy. I fantasize about being *taken* roughly and against my will. But I would NOT want to be raped.
Its in your head and it helps you orgasm then just lie back and go with the flow...x... (read in full...)
What can I do to sort out prom arrangements and not hurt either of my friends' feelings?
Q. Should I feel guilty? We are having our school prom soon and the other night me and another friend were sorting out limo arrangements to take us there. Out of all our group we were the only 2 making any effort. I was also talking to my best fri...
A. 6 March 2006: Your friend is a spoilt little madam who enjoys controlling others and getting he rown way. Do not give in to her, but tell her she can join you (if you want tis) as you have already made plans. Do not give in to tantrums, your frined who you have ... (read in full...)
Scared my son will start getting sexual
Q. i am a 29 year old mother of a 14 year old son.i have noticed recently that my son has started dating and i am so scared that he will start engaging into sexual activities. i do not know how to talk to him about this matter and i do not want him ...
A. 6 March 2006: You need to talk to your son about your worries. All you can do for your kids is give them the benefit of your experience, you cannot live their lives for them ,nor can you stop them from making their own mistakes.
You are pbviously a loving and ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to want him to leave the workplace where he had his 5-month affair?
Q. My husband confessed to a 5 month affair with a much younger woman. I am trying so hard to forgive and forget but I cannot get it out of my head that he betrayed and lied so much to me. He has been off work on sick leave now for 3 months, since ...
A. 6 March 2006: No you are not being unreasonable. You are fighting to save your marriage and you must use every trick in the book honey.
xx... (read in full...)
My wife has no idea about my attraction to the woman from work. What do I do?
Q. I have been happily married with a family now for four years, but about six months ago I met this smashing young lady at work. Since then I have not been able to get her out of my mind. We had been very friendly and flirty and had got on very wel...
A. 6 March 2006: Tell your wife. Give her the courtesey of knowing and being able to make decisions as to her future or lack of it with you.
You are effectively courting this woman. It will happen that at some point you will become sexually involved. So if you ... (read in full...)
In love with my husband's friend... Was this "gaze" a sign?
Q. I'm married and I'm in love with my husband's friend. Last time I saw him I just couldn't take my eyes off him till he looked at me and we made a very strong, long eye contact. I had never looked into someone's eyes like that before. The gaze was ...
A. 6 March 2006: Oh my God, you are married. Do your husband the courtesey of divorcing him before you start making *whoopie* with one of his friends.
Get a grip woman!!!!!... (read in full...)
Worried about the pain of first-time sex with my boyfriend...
Q. I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 16 and I really love him. We've been together for a while and I really want to lose my virginity to him. I'm really scared about the consequences though. I dont want to end up pregnant. I'm not on the pill and I'm not ...
A. 6 March 2006: At 14 you are to young and what you are considering is ileagal and known as stautory rape (at least in the UK). Make do with heavy petting until you are a little more emotionally mature. For both your sakes.... (read in full...)
Too shy to ask out the girl. What if she turns me down and everybody laughs?
Q. I'm a 13 year old kid and I have never asked a girl out cuz I'm too shy and I'm afraid this girl I like will turn me down and tell her friends. What should I do? I don't want to be the laughing stock of the entire school....
A. 6 March 2006: When she is on her own ask her. Dont do it in front of anybody else, this is called damage limitation........ (read in full...)
We had one big blow-up argument and split. Is there a chance he misses me and sees a future for us?
Q. i was with my ex boyfriend for 6 months, we were bestest friends, im 16 hes 17. my mum would pick him up from college, and hed be there when i got home from school, i stayed at his house every weekend, and in the holidays everynight, i was close to ...
A. 6 March 2006: He has moved on and you should too. You are both young, it may happen again for you in the furture but for the time being he ahs made his wishes and feelings perfectly clear.... (read in full...)
He has feelings for another woman. What do I do?
Q. What do I do now that my husband of 7 years is telling me he has feelings for another woman?...
A. 6 March 2006: Look, ignore the anon reader! Your guy has been honest with you. He has told you how he feels and you should help him thru that....imagine if he had just had an affair!
Listen to beenthere, she makes some very valid points and I think you shou... (read in full...)
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a girl who is a friend?
Q. Dear cupid. What is the difference between having a girl as a best friend and having a girl as your girlfriend? Im 16 and my best friend is 15. Im asking this because im best friends with a girl and we are really close. The only thing we don't do ...
A. 6 March 2006: A friendship does not involve any physical contact of a sexual nature. Like kissing, petting, sex.....
Having a Gf is usually a little more *full-on* with a least a bit of snogging.
This freindship could develop into something more or it could st... (read in full...)
I think he spiked my drink and now I'm pregnant!
Q. I am 16 and I started going out with boys when I was 14. Up to about 3 months ago I was a virgin although I did not mind boys doing anything else to me, I would not let them go all the way. Anyway, last December I went out with a new boy to a dis...
A. 6 March 2006: You didnt get spiked, you messed with alcohol and this unfortunately is what happens.
You need to confide insomeone who can help you as you probably only have a short time frame in which to react now if you wish to terminate the pregnancy.
Next ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has never said she loves me!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have been going out for 2 months now. I really love her and have told her many times. Though, she has never once said it back to me, which can get me down sometimes. I would jsut like to hear the three w...
A. 6 March 2006: Ask her straight out. But be prepared for her answer as she may not love you, she may only *like you a lot*.
... (read in full...)
All we do is make up and break up.....
Q. Hi there, I need some advice I am seeking. In Aug 2003 I met this amazing, striking blonde N, we had a relationship for 3 Months, gradually hit it off then boom out the blue she ended it. She had just come out of a 7 yr relationship (the guy was ...
A. 6 March 2006: Leave her be. If she was interested then she would respond or initiate contact.... (read in full...)
I get irritated with my family. I can't stand to hear them chew their food at the dinner table!
Q. Hi. I'm not really sure how to put this into words without it sounding stupid, but here goes. At the dinner table when me and my family sit down for something to eat I always get irritated for a really stupid reason, I hate the sound of them eat...
A. 6 March 2006: Go eat in another room.... (read in full...)
Fourth time lucky?
Q. If your partner has three failed relationships behind him what are the chances that our relationship will last? Is it true that past behavior represents future behavior?? ...
A. 6 March 2006: Before I married my husband (at 32!) I was what you would call a serial monogamist. I do not view any of those relationships as failed!!
They made me the person I am today and whilst I was with each of my old BF's I gained a lot from each rela... (read in full...)
I don't want to come off as just being nasty about my ex... but I have to tell someone about how rotten he was to me!
Q. I need some advice. I have had issues in getting over my ex and I have decided that the reason is because I have told no one what happened. I still feel anger and hurt over the way that he treated me and find myself unable to even look at him beca...
A. 6 March 2006: You told this website and now people know you should be able to move on and deal with it. You have been badly hurt and your trust in the opposite sex crushed, but in time you will find out that not everybody is quite so two faced and devious.
R... (read in full...)
I want my partner to admit it...
Q. What do I say to get my spouse to confess an affair?...
A. 6 March 2006: How do you even know ahe is having an affair?
If you know then you must have PROOF.
Confront her with the proof and deal with the fall out that way.
If you have no proof......then, cannot help mate sorry.x... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for "pillow talk"?
Q. i have an amazing boyfriend, but there is one tiny problem, i need help on pillow talk, it's not that i am bad but just that i run out of things to say, any suggestions on wat i can say to him. he is tall dark and handsome. he looks like tyres...
A. 6 March 2006: Sounds like you have nothing to talk about because you are too in awe of this guys looks. Remember he is only human too!! He is not perfect!!
To be honest, it makes me laugh (and not in a good way) that people can have sex with each other, befo... (read in full...)
An old flame is back and wants to marry me! But in the meantime, I met someone else...
Q. What can I do please? Who can I choose? I am 19 years. I loved a guy 6 years back and I didn't tell him. I heard that he loved me to from my friends so I tried to talke to him. Now I am talking to him. I thought that I will never talk to him i...
A. 6 March 2006: I think you shouldn't be even considering marrying either of them to be perfectly honest. You think you loved this guy form when you were 13. And now you have talked to him you want to marry him. But you alrady have a BF who also wants to marry ... (read in full...)
How can he say he loves me, then break us up?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he thought things were getting too serious. He says he loves me but doesn't want a serious relationship right now. That doesn't make any sense to me. How you can love someone and not want to be with them? So my ...
A. 6 March 2006: Sounds like he is trying to let you down gently honey.
Move on, find someone who can give you what you really need.... (read in full...)
I feel ready for this pregnancy and want to have the baby, but my boyfriend won't even discuss it!
Q. hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. 2 Years ago I got pregnant on the pill and had a termination because neither my boyfriend nor I were ready to have a child, although since then I have had great feelings of regret. I then went on ...
A. 6 March 2006: You dont.
Effectively you have taken away your BF's CHOICE in the matter and quite frankly that would appear like you were trying to trap him to me.
You need to look at your motives for doing this. In this day and age, except in extreme circumst... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went on a boys weekend to amsterdam and blew all his wages!
Q. Hello basically my boyfriend has been treating me with no respect,shouting and swearing in front of our children punching holes in doors. He does work long hours up at 3am. He told me last sunday he was going on a boys weekend to amsterdam on fri...
A. 6 March 2006: You are practically a single mother anyway, sack this guy off. Concentrate on your kids.
Move on, this worthless sack of skin has no respect for you and no respect for your kids.
Get your life back.xxx... (read in full...)
We had this weird staring thing going on... Has he moved on and how should I have acted?
Q. A guy at college kept looking at me with no emotion--i never knew what to do, so i did the same. This went on for about three months I got tired of the game and so i ignored him (but i still noticed him), i started to hang around with my male ...
A. 6 March 2006: Right you have too options here. Option 1 is to continue to behave like a strange and deranged stalker getting off on a guy from afar. Option 2 is to go and introduce yourself to him and find out what his name is. Then you will be able to tell ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a lady to be willing, wet, yet get no pleasure at all from sex?
Q. Ladies... A girfriend told me that she had sex but it did not feel good. Never; now I replied that that is rediculous because sex always feels good if the woman is a willing participant. Excuse me for my ignorance but I think that when ...
A. 6 March 2006: If you dont ask you never learn. And if you are not open minded or brave enough to ask then you are immature, either sexually or emotionally.
You, my dear appear to be neither.
xxx... (read in full...)
He hit me with a chair, and not for the first time. Should I leave?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are going through a rough patch and the other day he beat me with a chair. Not the first time hes hit me but I'm now debating whether to leave him. I do love him but I'm scared of him and I have no one else to turn to. What ...
A. 5 March 2006: He beats you with a chair and you *DEBATE* whether to leave him?
Oh PURLEASE!!!!
He is a nut job and you are asking to be beaten if you stick around for a second helping! Not only did he hit you, but he hit you with an implement.....
LEAVE HIM... (read in full...)
Money has brought me dating troubles!
Q. Hi. I own my own business and have done well / been lucky. I have a lots of money. This, I'm finding however, is bringing me problems. Two problems mainly. 1. I am attracting girls who are interested in me AND my money. They expect me to trea...
A. 5 March 2006: Sounds like you are the one with the hang up about your money. The girls you date dont need to know about it unless you tell them after all do they....
PS Can I have a sub?
;-)... (read in full...)
My female friend is getting it on with her own sister! How should I deal with this?
Q. One of my friends (who's 16) recently told me her and her sister are so close they even have sexualy contact. She told me they perform oral sex on each other and I find this very disturbing. Her sister is 14 and they have apparantly had this ...
A. 5 March 2006: it is your place to help them deal with this. I have no understanding as to why you shouldnt. This is something that if it was going on between a male and female would be stopped and viewed as a terrible thing.
Far to many people bury their head... (read in full...)
Why won't my bf let me give him oral sex?
Q. Im sixteen and have been in a steady relationship for a month.I want to give my boyfriend oral sex but he doesn't want me to. What's wrong with me?...
A. 5 March 2006: He just may not like it. We all have likes and dislikes and the guy probably just doesn't get off on it......... (read in full...)
Why does he look at porn? I sneaked a look and it's just gross!
Q. Hi, iv been dating my guy for almost 9 months, we have always been very close but one time when i went to his house to visit we where in his room then he left the room and i noticed his pc was on so i moved the mouse the screen saver shut off and i ...
A. 5 March 2006: I am not a guy, but I can tell you why I have used porn in the past. It was to turn me on so I could get a sexual release. I would think that you average person uses it in this way also. It is normal if the people involved in using it are ... (read in full...)
Rumour is that my boyfrend is seeing someone else. Do I dump him or talk it out?
Q. I am 14 and so is my boyfriend. We are born on the same day but we do not go to the same school. My friend, who I chat to online, has told me that my boyfriend is seeing another girl but my boyfriend asked me out. What shall I do? Dump him or talk ...
A. 5 March 2006: Talk to him. Never react to rumor, wait until you have the truth.
there may be an ulterior motive behind the nasty gossip and then again there may be some truth in it. SO, I suggest talking to your BF and asking him outright if there is any trut... (read in full...)
I have PND and my partner doesnt understand how I am feeling!!
Q. My OH doesn't seem to understand how i am feeling. I have been suffering from PND and i need some info about it. I also could do with something explaining things about sex, like that not all women automatically go off sex just because they are ...
A. 5 March 2006: Your guy sounds like he has some major issues which, judging from what you have said about him going off sex before you got pregnant, may be physical and may need a visit to the doctors surgery for bloodtests or a chat to sort out. There could be ... (read in full...)
We have a great sex life but is it normal for him to watch his porn everyday?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. About a month ago we decided he would move in with me. We have a great sex life. We have sex almost every night and we talk and always try new things. I see nothing wrong with it. Recently I ...
A. 5 March 2006: I dont think he is a pervert but I think he is in a habitual spiral that it will be difficult to get him out of (short of burning his stash of tapes and magazines!)
If this makes you uncomfortable then you need to address this situation head on and ... (read in full...)
We have a great sex life but is it normal for him to watch his porn everyday?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. About a month ago we decided he would move in with me. We have a great sex life. We have sex almost every night and we talk and always try new things. I see nothing wrong with it. Recently I ...
A. 5 March 2006: I dont think he is a pervert but I think he is in a habitual spiral that it will be difficult to get him out of (short of burning his stash of tapes and magazines!)
If this makes you uncomfortable then you need to address this situation head on and ... (read in full...)
Should we be together if he wants to watch so many adult movies?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, we broke up for a couple months and now we are tring to work things out. I came back into the relationship with a problem I didn't have before. I know men do this frequently, but I don't know how much ...
A. 5 March 2006: D'ya know, you end your letter with *I dont know what to do or think*. I think you should go with your feelings and judge your own reactions to this instead of asking others. If this makes YOU uncomforatble then it is YOU who has to deal with the ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me not to want him to look at porn?
Q. i recently found out that my boyfriend likes to look at pornography, and i told him i was deeply hurt by it. i felt that if he is with me then he doesn't need it, it almost feels like he is cheating on me! he said he won't look at it again and doe...
A. 5 March 2006: If this issue offends YOU, then you have to do something about it. I have a very blase attitude towards porn and truely cannot understand why people get worked up about the ocasional usgae of porn as a means for getting a release. I think it has ... (read in full...)
Why am I so jealous of my awful ex's new girlfriend?
Q. Ok.. here's the problem. I broke up with my ex about a month and a half ago. We were together for 18 months, and in that time he lied to me about a few HUGE issues, and manipulated me into doing something that I didn't really want to do. He was in ...
A. 5 March 2006: Oh my God NO you are not a crazy obsessive bat in the slightest!!
This is a perfectly normal feeling to have! You were exclusive with this guy for 18 months and during that time you developed feelings for him. Regardless of how you split up it c... (read in full...)
My partner wants to cum on my face but it makes me feel violated!
Q. I've been in a relationship for over four years, we love each other madly and have a child together. However, my partner wants to come on my face during sex and is unhappy (which I find unbearable to live with) when I refuse to let him. I feel vio...
A. 5 March 2006: Mystify got it right....you are not a sex object! If this makes you uncomfortable then don't be coerced into it. If your man *needs* this to *get off* then he has some seriously weird sexual hang-ups he need to sort out.
This is an act of sexua... (read in full...)
Questions about the pill...
Q. Hi--I was wondering about the birth control pill. I had three main questions: Should I take ny pill early in the morning or later in the day? Should you take the pill with food? Should I anticipate a change in my diet with taking the p...
A. 5 March 2006: Ok 1. You take it at a time when you are less likely to forget it...
2.Doesnt matter when you take it with or without food, but it can make you nauseous so maybe with food be better...
3.no... (read in full...)
My female friend is getting it on with her own sister! How should I deal with this?
Q. One of my friends (who's 16) recently told me her and her sister are so close they even have sexualy contact. She told me they perform oral sex on each other and I find this very disturbing. Her sister is 14 and they have apparantly had this ...
A. 5 March 2006: iF THIS WAS A 16 YEAR OLD BROTHER GETTING IT ON WITH HIS 14 YEAR OLD SISTER THERE WOULD BE MAJOR UPROAR ON HERE!!
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SORT THIS OUT!!!
This is a totally amoral situation, not to mention psychologically damaging to all involved... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my best friend's boy, but now I've fallen in love with him!
Q. Somehow I've found myself in a situation where I am sleeping with my best friend/roommate's boyfriend. What should I do when I have fallen in love with him, too?...
A. 4 March 2006: Some best friend you are! Did the pair of you just *fall into bed* like how betrayed and hurt is your friend going to feel when she realises she has been betrayed not just by one person she loves but by botH!!!!???????... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a lady to be willing, wet, yet get no pleasure at all from sex?
Q. Ladies... A girfriend told me that she had sex but it did not feel good. Never; now I replied that that is rediculous because sex always feels good if the woman is a willing participant. Excuse me for my ignorance but I think that when ...
A. 4 March 2006: Yep, women can just *go thru the motions* and become wet and a man can usually never tell if it is good for her or she is faking it. Gosd knows i have done it enough times myself in the past just to get it over with, with crappy bf''s who just ... (read in full...)
My female friend is getting it on with her own sister! How should I deal with this?
Q. One of my friends (who's 16) recently told me her and her sister are so close they even have sexualy contact. She told me they perform oral sex on each other and I find this very disturbing. Her sister is 14 and they have apparantly had this ...
A. 4 March 2006: This is rancid and quite frankly at 14 and 16 they should both know it is totally wrong. I dont think you should stay out of this, I do think you should tell somebody like your Mum and ask for there guidance. This is too big a problem to have ... (read in full...)
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