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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 29 April 2006: Good to know that you can give objective advice female anon below.....*insane freak like her mother is*. C'mon.... (read in full...)
She's 16, living with and sleeping with a 28 year old man!
Q. My daughter is dating a 28yearold man she id only 16 years old they have been together for 7 months and have come to me and told me that they have been having sex and are deeply in love about 5 months ago i let her move in with him what should i do?...
A. 4 March 2006: This guy sounds sensible and like he loves your daughter. So sit back and support her. Just be her Mum, we all mature at different rates and your girl is just a bit quicker than others.
Good luck
PS Ignore what some of the spiteful judgemen... (read in full...)
Can I get over him cheating on me more than 80 times?
Q. Is it possible to get over a man cheating on you if he's done it over 80 times? I've thought of counselling but a bit scared of opening 'pandoras box'. I thought I got over the first few but the one's that involve people I know who were friends of ...
A. 1 March 2006: NO you cant.... (read in full...)
Two women! One likes sex... the other one doesn't. Who do I choose?
Q. hi ive been with my girlfriend for 10 years and we planned to buy a house and settle down together, the only problem was there was little or no sex, ive recently met someone and ive fallen for her and the sex is amazing. i could make a life with ...
A. 28 February 2006: Pick the one you love cos amazing sex doesnt always last, love does.... (read in full...)
I guess I need the drama in my life, but I really want my alcoholic, cheating boyfriend back!
Q. After having read loads of advice on lots of different subject on this page I am still in the same space I was 5 yrs ago. I was with partner 18 yrs, found out he was cheating. He had drink problem. It killed me watching him. He wanted to drink hi...
A. 28 February 2006: The drink is the first love in his life. You do need to move on. You are never going to *cure* him and you cannot take responsibility for his behaviour. He is commiting suicide slowly thru alcohol and you cannot change that until he wants to do ... (read in full...)
He wants some space-so what can I do to give him a break but still be with him?
Q. My bf and i have been together for almost a year and hes getting sick of doing things together. I feel like i give him time with his friends but he still feels he needs a break from me. He never wants to hang out anymore and it really hurts. Im ...
A. 28 February 2006: Honour his wishes or you will drive him away altogether. Saying that I think you need to look at whether your relationship is going anywere, cos it sounds like he is moving on already and doesn't know how to tell you.... (read in full...)
We have broken up but he doesn't turn up to agreed meetings
Q. I am having some problems with my ex, 21, since our split after five months. I am 33, we are both gay, and we had a wonderful, honest relationship. However, after New Year he suddenly chose to end things saying things were not working for him....
A. 28 February 2006: You need to face up to the fact he is unable to be honest with you and is trying to make you give up wanting to see him without just saying *I dont want to see you!*
Just cut him out of your life and move on before you get any more hurt.
Dont ... (read in full...)
Perhaos he only has sex with me for my sake...what do I do??
Q. Hi, ive been with my boyfriend nearly 6yrs im only gone 22 ive been with him since i was 16 he is a lovely bloke and i do love him, recently we bought a house together but i wasnt a hundred % certain at the time that it was a good idea because we ...
A. 28 February 2006: Six years is a long time and you cannot expect to still be *all over each other* after that length of time without some work.
You need to have a proper talk to him. Maybe putting your feelings down in a letter that he can read in private, so it i... (read in full...)
I caught my 10-year-old daughter masturbating!
Q. I hope you can help me with this because i just dont know what to do! I have a 10 year old daughter who is very happy- go lucky and has lots of friends. Last week i walked into her bedroom to find her straddling her bedcorner and thrusting. I told ...
A. 28 February 2006: It is completely normal. It feels good so she does it. Babies pleasure themselves this way. All you need to teach her is the need for privacy and a little less exhibitionism...
x... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on the 'porn' issue...the difference between fantasy and illusion.
Q. Everyone says that porn is for FANTASY, But the definition of fantasy is "a product of the imagination: ILLUSION" Which is where it should stay, in ones mind, not for their eyes. Fantasies are meant to be imagined not to actually be seen. If ...
A. 28 February 2006: look, I am defending Martini here. This issue is about personal opinions and Martini's opinions are HIS own. So lets not diss them. Have an active discussion by all means but dont diss another person for explaining their point of view. Too much ... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 27 February 2006: This is something you must overcome if you want to continue to have a place in your mans heart. For heaven's sake his daughter is SIX YEARS OLD!! She is not even aware she has to be in competition with her Daddy's new partner yet! And it is also ... (read in full...)
How true is it that a man knows instinctively when he meets the woman he's going to marry?
Q. I really need some advice. I've been wondering, is it true a guy knows almost instantly when he meets his future wife? I've heard many stories from guys I know who have said they knew...and I was wondering how true people think this is....
A. 27 February 2006: I think you can have an instant attraction for somebody else. But I don't think you can fall in love until you really know someone, all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make a person's personality essentially THEM.
Love cannot begin until you ... (read in full...)
Should I come out as bi-sexual? At school?
Q. Hi, There is a girl in my year at school who came out and said she was bi-sexual, she got loadsa crap for it too, which was unfair. I think i maybe too, and I dont know wheter to come out and tell people or not say anything until Im sure Im bi-sexua...
A. 27 February 2006: If you dont know yet then why make yourself a target for the bullys? This is not something you need to share and I really wouldn't until you are sure.
x... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on the 'porn' issue...the difference between fantasy and illusion.
Q. Everyone says that porn is for FANTASY, But the definition of fantasy is "a product of the imagination: ILLUSION" Which is where it should stay, in ones mind, not for their eyes. Fantasies are meant to be imagined not to actually be seen. If ...
A. 27 February 2006: This is only an opinion, but that is what you are asking for so here goes.....
I think people look at porn for many different reasons, some of them need the stuff to get off, and they are the ones with the problems. Some people (and this coun... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to watch porn like ALL the time!?
Q. Is it normal for guys to watch porno all the time? Should I be concern that he is constantlly watching porno videos?? I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now, but before we seriously started dating we had been seeing each other ...
A. 27 February 2006: Hiya honey
It is not normal for a man to need porn *all the time* any more than it is normal for a man to want sex all the time. If this was the case you are looking at an addiction, be it psychological or physical.
If he acts in a way that off... (read in full...)
He claims that he downloads and trades porn "to practice hacking". I don't believe him...
Q. Been with my man for 2 years. We live together. Over the last six months I keep coming across porn. He was downloading it from the internet. Anyway I got upset at him, explained to him that it makes me feel ugly and I just don't like it being in...
A. 22 February 2006: I have issues with the way this guy treats you. He is dishonest and has no respect for you. I dont just mean about the porn issue, its the fact he treats you as if you are stupid and cannot see thru him!
I hope he either grows up or you find the ... (read in full...)
While my boyfriend's in hospital, I'm bending over backwards to see him... and he's joking that the nurses fancy him!
Q. I dont know what to do. My boyfriend is in hospital having a operation. I have been to see him every night so far and stayed with him all weekend. This is very tiring as I work from 9-5 every day and the hospital he is in is 1.5 hours away. I...
A. 21 February 2006: He took the sim card out cos he knew you would probably look at it and quite frankly that is similar to reading somebody's diary.
Look it's not that anyhting is going on (in my opinion) it's just that he does this to wind you up. You take the bait... (read in full...)
Orgasm score: nil. But my boyfriend gets defensive if I try to discuss it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together and having sex for over two years and I still have never climaxed. He says that he really wants me to and it's what he thinks about, but I feel that it's all for his pleasure. When I try to talk to him abou...
A. 21 February 2006: Try exploring your own body and making yourself have orgasm thru self-masturbation. Then when you know what turns you on you can show him.x... (read in full...)
Orgasm score: nil. But my boyfriend gets defensive if I try to discuss it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together and having sex for over two years and I still have never climaxed. He says that he really wants me to and it's what he thinks about, but I feel that it's all for his pleasure. When I try to talk to him abou...
A. 21 February 2006: Try exploring your own body and making yourself have orgasm thru self-masturbation. Then when you know what turns you on you can show him.x... (read in full...)
My bf has been cruel..so I cheated on him. Now I feel horrible! Help
Q. Please help, I am a horrible person. My boyfriend has been quite cruel verbally/ mentaly for the past couple of months, but I love him dearly. But I went out and slept with one of my freinds. Its tearing me up inside. What should I do. I know I ...
A. 21 February 2006: You need to let this go. You are not ahorrible person, you are a person who made a mistake. Forgive yourself and let the past be the past. Move on...x... (read in full...)
Am I the guy to take my girlfriend's virginity?
Q. I have a question about taking my girlfriend's virginity. I'm 20 and she's 18 and we both attend college. I met her in class and we have been dating for almost 2 months. I'm not a virgin, but she informed me the other day that she's a virgin. ...
A. 21 February 2006: Losing your virginity can be painful but in today's society so many girls already have had their hymens's broken thru sports (bike riding, horse riding etc).
It didnt hurt be but I was scared stiff (so was my BF but thats another story lol)and whil... (read in full...)
She's 16, living with and sleeping with a 28 year old man!
Q. My daughter is dating a 28yearold man she id only 16 years old they have been together for 7 months and have come to me and told me that they have been having sex and are deeply in love about 5 months ago i let her move in with him what should i do?...
A. 21 February 2006: At 16 in the UK your daughter would pretty much have the right to do as she choses. I cannot comment on other countries.
Have you met this guy, does he genuinely care fro your daughter and allow her life to continue as it would if she were unde... (read in full...)
We got back together and things were bliss but this morning he hit me and smashed my head against a wall. I love him so much...what do i do?
Q. Please help me. I had been with my boyfriend for almost two years, when we argued about money and he left me. The reason we argued about money was that he spent all his wages on cannabis and didn't pay his bills.Four months later we got back tog...
A. 21 February 2006: actually very well put martini x... (read in full...)
I like this guy and he knows how I feel but still he does nothing!!
Q. I've liked this guy for a couple months now and ive told him how ive felt but he still doesn't do anything. When we are together he'll be flirting with me the whole time.. why hasnt he done anything knowing my feelings for him?...
A. 20 February 2006: Probably cos he is shy. Looks like it is up to you then doesn't it?
Good luck xx... (read in full...)
He claims that he downloads and trades porn "to practice hacking". I don't believe him...
Q. Been with my man for 2 years. We live together. Over the last six months I keep coming across porn. He was downloading it from the internet. Anyway I got upset at him, explained to him that it makes me feel ugly and I just don't like it being in...
A. 20 February 2006: I thnk this guy must think you are soft in the head to try to get you to believe this line of bulldust! Get to grips with him and demand the truth, tell him that you will lose all respect for him (if you havent already) unless he stops lying to ... (read in full...)
We got back together and things were bliss but this morning he hit me and smashed my head against a wall. I love him so much...what do i do?
Q. Please help me. I had been with my boyfriend for almost two years, when we argued about money and he left me. The reason we argued about money was that he spent all his wages on cannabis and didn't pay his bills.Four months later we got back tog...
A. 20 February 2006: You seriously want this guy back? Oh MY GOD!
Read thru the question you have just posted.
Now ask yourself what you would truly say to a good friend if she came to you and told you this had happened to her. What exactly WOULD you tell her?
Lo... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 20 February 2006: female anon, I totally agree with you. Everyone has a right to be heard and a right to air their opinions. It is a slightly confusing thing that porn should be such a contentious issue here, but at the end of the day we are all here to answer ... (read in full...)
Bad attitude.
Q. What to do about a boyfriend with a really bad attitude? ...
A. 19 February 2006: Bin him....... (read in full...)
I'm the breadwinner... Should I stick with it?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years this month. When we first got together he owned a couple of businesses, all of which he has lost over the past two years, but since then he has not tried to get any work , leaving me to support him and two ...
A. 17 February 2006: I think you are a little disapointed in the way this relationship has worked out. But I also feel that you partner could be depressed and have a low self esteem because of his failures. I understand when you met him you were looking at the whole ... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 17 February 2006: Mystify sweetie
I am not attacking you!
Stop being so arrogant!
The question was about when is porn too much, not asking for your views on porn per se.
As for 9" skirts and heels NOT being sexual (with the emphasis on the curve of the leg and s... (read in full...)
My husband is so uninvolved in my life and I've fallen for someone else. Am I unreasonable?
Q. Dear Cupid I am 31 years old my husband is 55 (we met when I was 18). We have a 3 year old son and have been together for 13 years. We have been living in his home town until our child was born then we moved away to my home and he fell into dee...
A. 16 February 2006: No you are not being unreasonable to look for love elsewhere if your husband is being so cold and distant. But in order to be fair to him I would suggest that you cool things off with the other guy and bring to a close the relationship with your ... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 16 February 2006: Here we go again! A perfectly legitimate question hijacked by the anti porn squad. I am female and I do not care either way for porn of the male female or fish variet. I do care that because other people disagree they are continually found to be ... (read in full...)
My 15 year old son got suspended from school-for fighting..how do I deal with his aggression?
Q. I am a father of two. My 15-year-old son has been suspended from school over allegations he started a fight in the classroom which resulted in an innocent boy going to hospital. He refuses to discuss why he has aggression with us, and we don't kn...
A. 15 February 2006: Hang on Craig. Have these allegations been proven and do you know for definate your son was the aggressor and not acting in self defence?
Before any punishment is meted out find out the FACTS. Nothing is guarranteed to alienate your child more... (read in full...)
How can she proove she was raped and could now be pregnant?
Q. My sister, who is 18, says that she was date raped after she went to a disco. It is too soon to know if she is pregnant but how can she prove things?...
A. 15 February 2006: What do you mean by *how can she prove thing* and who do you want her to prove it to?... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids until we are much older...how do I talk to him?
Q. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25. He has said to me he wants to wait until we're 40 and he's 42 to have kids. When I said to him that he doesn't want children at all, he denied that, and said that he does want kids, just in later life when he's g...
A. 15 February 2006: How do you mean he isn't interested in any form of sex, but he is working on your relationship?... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out?
Q. Dear agony aunts. Please anwser my question because i really want help. On valentines day i gave a girl i really like a card with rose petals in, a CD with love songs (dat i made) and chocolates and she really loved it and wouldn't stop hugging me ...
A. 15 February 2006: Think you are home and dry mate!
She loved the present and she wouldn't stop hugging you.....come on does she have to spell it out?
Go for it ask her...all you have to say is "*****, do you fancy seeing a film on saturday night with me." If she w... (read in full...)
Engaged and in love...but Im hearing about his dark side from his ex...who should I believe?
Q. ok, quite a long one here, but i really hope as many people as possible can help me on this! when i first met my fiance, it was lust at first sight. both of us had just finished from serious relationships and didnt want to get into anything heavy, b...
A. 15 February 2006: This woman may not present as a *psycho ex* but what else has she got to get out of this other than to make you miserable.
I read to much on here about "his/her friend(s) told me blah blah blah" and it makes me wonder......why do you listen to thes... (read in full...)
Engaged and in love...but Im hearing about his dark side from his ex...who should I believe?
Q. ok, quite a long one here, but i really hope as many people as possible can help me on this! when i first met my fiance, it was lust at first sight. both of us had just finished from serious relationships and didnt want to get into anything heavy, b...
A. 15 February 2006: This woman may not present as a *psycho ex* but what else has she got to get out of this other than to make you miserable.
I read to much on here about "his/her friend(s) told me blah blah blah" and it makes me wonder......why do you listen to thes... (read in full...)
I'm the breadwinner... Should I stick with it?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years this month. When we first got together he owned a couple of businesses, all of which he has lost over the past two years, but since then he has not tried to get any work , leaving me to support him and two ...
A. 15 February 2006: Why did you quit your job? Who looks after the children when you did work? ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are separated. I'm seeing my ex-boyfriend, who is engaged. I love my ex...what should I do?
Q. hello. i need help. my husband and i separated in march (10 months ago), because he was talking to other females and lying to me about it. we argued all the time, finally i left. in april i started seeing an ex boyfriend, but the problem is he is ...
A. 15 February 2006: Yes, you should stop seeing him and give him a chance to see if he can work thru this thing with his legitimate fiancee. After all do you want a serial cheater on your hands later.
Move on and let him go. Find somebody new who is free to love you ... (read in full...)
He is married but I don't want to miss out on a relationship with him
Q. I feel a bit stupid writing in here, but I don't know what else to do. Basically I have been getting quite friendly with a married man at work (different dept. to me), very similar age and work background. I am also married. He has 2 kids, I have ...
A. 15 February 2006: Hear hear Eddie.
This guy is exerting some self-control over this situation, unlike you. He is not responding to your advances and he does not want to hurt his wife and family.
Leave this guy alone and find someone who is free.... (read in full...)
If I suggest we go out, it becomes an issue; am I wasting my time with him?
Q. i am 18 and have been going out with my boyfriend for 1 year and 1 month. Any way he's been acting strange lately since the beginning of this year. he had a few uni probs and didnt tell me anything about it until the day after he decided he was ...
A. 15 February 2006: You are behaving like a doormat and this guy is wiping his feet all over you sweetheart. Stand up for yourself and develop some self-respect. Stop phoning, stop texting and stay out of cantact with him altogether. You behaviour smacks of ... (read in full...)
What should I do about his awful idea to move in with him at this terrible hotel?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 years is working out of state and living in a Dump of a hotel because that is the only place available..He is in the Katrina Hurricane area of Louisiana USA..Well long story short he wants me and our son who is in Kindergarten to ...
A. 15 February 2006: I thnk the need to care for your child is the most important thing here. And as a mother, if you feel uneasy or unsure about whether to move to this area then go with your instincts. This could create trouble in your marriage, but after all you ... (read in full...)
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